The temperature makes me so bitter. You want to know why some people are so fascinated by the weather? Yeah I would like to know too. I am not a fan of small talk. So how is the weather out there in Seattle? I don’t know look at weather.com! Or read about it in your newspaper’s extended forcast thing. They are always right. Usually there are rain drop right over Seattle. You think there is much deviation in the weather here? Just ask someone in Phoenix in the summer time what the weather is like there and substitute rain and that is what the weather is like here. But that is besides the point. What makes me so bitter is that fact that as a human person, which I assume most people are that read this blog (maybe a few aliens read this, I don’t know. Haven’t seen any comments from them.) is that we have the smallest of tiny windows of space between two temperatures that we feel comfortable.
Test my theory. Ask a women how she feels. Most of them will tell you that they are cold. It is a fact of life, get used to it. If you are a women, don’t be offended, maybe a few of you are hot. Let’s just say that if you ask someone at almost anytime of the day they will say they are either hot or cold. If they are fine, then it is usually because they are inside and the temperature is between 69-71. A mere two degrees between, too hold and too cold. If you ever hear, “Oh my gosh it is so hot in here!” then the temperature is probably 72 and you are a man. If you ever hear, “Oh my gosh it is freezing in here!” you are probably a women and it is 68 degrees. That makes me bitter. Not the fact that there is a bitter, eternal struggle between men and women and the thermostat. That is a bitter debate for another time. What I am bitter about is that as a human person, I can only be truly comfortable in about a 2 degree spread.
Which makes me as a human totally vulnerable to aliens and and any other smart person that wants to toture or kill us. You want to flush someone out of their house? Turn their thermostat to 73 and then destroy the thermostat. If aliens wanted to make us suffer, or just start a fire, all they would have to do is move the sun maybe a few feet closer and all the men would melt. And maybe women would finally not be so cold.
It is any wonder why I am so bitter? It is 72 in here and I am hot and not I can’t think straight anymore. Get me some water in here for goodness sake! Oh wait it is 68 and now all the women are complaining. Who keeps changing the thermostat!