My wife and I have been looking for ways to become independently wealthy for some time now. She would really like to go shopping without looking at price tags. She would also love to have a maid, a personal chef and personal trainer. She would also like a car with heated seats, and a house … Continue reading Living Rent-Free BFG’s
Sword of Bitter
When I went to Scotland, we visited Victoria Street, which inspired J.K. Rowling's Diagon Alley in Harry Potter. They had a lot of shops dedicated to Harry Potter and sold lots of HP merchandise. It cracked me up that the first store we visited that was dedicated to Harry Potter merch, had less of an … Continue reading Sword of Bitter
Blog Paralysis BFG’s
I know I keep talking about my trip to Scotland, but it's mostly because I need to brag that I got to go there, and you didn't. Mostly though, it was a once-in-a-lifetime trip that I will never be able to afford to go to again. Being there was just so unique because my great-great-great … Continue reading Blog Paralysis BFG’s
Risk Averse Bitterness
The older I get the less time I have for shenanigans. When I was younger, I would put up with stupid stuff and stupid people, but that required a lot of energy. Now that I don't have any energy, I have no time for shenanigans. For instance, I used to play video games that were … Continue reading Risk Averse Bitterness
Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s
Do you remember that stupid game your teachers made you play when you were a kid, where the teacher tells one kid a secret and then you had to tell the next person the thing they said? At the end, the last person would try to say the thing that the first person said, and … Continue reading Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s
Reboot Bitterness
You have no idea how many times I've had to write this post. Well, okay I will tell you. Once. It was once, okay? But that doesn't mean I haven't had to write a bunch of other posts a lot of times. In fact, my best and most brilliant post ever had to be written … Continue reading Reboot Bitterness
Nobody is looking at you BFG’s
I haven't progressed much since my teen years. Just like I did in my teens, I still play video games, I still wear jeans and shorts (and jean shorts(jorts)), and still also have a driver's license just like I did as a teen. As the old expression goes, "The more things change, the more things … Continue reading Nobody is looking at you BFG’s
I will soon own Scotland…and then the World
Taking over the world is hard work. Terrorists are constantly trying to do it in movies, governments are always trying to topple other governments and countries one at a time, and Pinky and the Brain have been trying to do it since 1995. Sorry lab rat, beat you to it. Unfortunately for Pinky and the … Continue reading I will soon own Scotland…and then the World
Misery loves Privacy BFG’s
Last week, I said I was taking care of important business, so I just had to give my blog the average amount of attention. That was because I was dropping my daughter off to college. It was important for me to do so, because she is now attending my alma mater. Which according to Wikipedia … Continue reading Misery loves Privacy BFG’s
Bitter Memory Lane
After the Sun's extensively long starring role in the summer production of Summer, it's overacting finally got a co-star of whose performance equaled it strength. Yes gloomy, rainy and cloudy today stepped into the spotlight darkened the earth and skies. The meteorologists were handing out 100's this summer like Biden is handing out 100's to … Continue reading Bitter Memory Lane
Generic Bitter Friday Giftures
Since I'm going to be taking care of very important business this Friday, I'm not going to be available to you for your weekly dose of bitterness. I know you expect high-quality content every single Friday without exception, because you're greedy and needy. I know you all think I'm a creative genius, and you're right, … Continue reading Generic Bitter Friday Giftures
Emotional Support Video Game
I don't know about you, but I'm fascinated by the story of Steve Jobs. Why? Because he more at things than I have ever even attempted. Failure is the bedrock of bitterness. And if you think I'm bitter, you should see how bitter Steve Jobs was. Not as bitter, but he was one of the … Continue reading Emotional Support Video Game
Dueling Identities Bitter Friday Giftures
Did you know that there are literally millions of podcasts on the internet right now? I didn't know that either, because I'm just guessing. What do you think, I talk about facts on here? Almost everything I write is either made up or mostly made up. But one thing I do know is that there … Continue reading Dueling Identities Bitter Friday Giftures
Kid Icarus Complex Bitter Friday Giftures
I never paid attention much in school when it came to Greek Gods and myths and legends. Turns out I probably should have paid less attention to math and science and more attention the Legends. Because the kind of math that I use nowadays can either be solved by calculators, Excel or YouTube. But the … Continue reading Kid Icarus Complex Bitter Friday Giftures
Taking over the media
When I was in high school, I was a big fan of not having friends. It was mostly my toxic personality, my metal mouthed Resting Bitter Face, and my massive introversion complex that allowed to skate by without friends for the most part. Unfortunately, one guy tricked me into being his friend by bribing me … Continue reading Taking over the media
The Official Water Supplier of Football Player BFG’s
Sports and marketing go together like Bitter and Ben. No movie better encapsulates sports marketing than Jerry Maguire. He taught us really important lessons like, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!" and other things, like repeating phrases over and over to emphasize fairly unimportant things like love. Pam Beasley from the Office was even inspired to abandon … Continue reading The Official Water Supplier of Football Player BFG’s
With Great Power Outages, Comes Great Irritability
If you've ever seen a Spiderman movie or read any of his comics, congratulations, you are just like everyone else. It's only the most done franchise ever (besides Batman). Just last year, we had three different Spidey's from three different generations in one movie. The Tobey Maguire era for oldies like me, Andrew Garfield for … Continue reading With Great Power Outages, Comes Great Irritability
Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures
My favorite thing to do at work is chatting and chilling with my co-workers. Who needs headphones or distracting work when you can absentmindedly trade small talk with your co-workers. The day wouldn't feel complete without having to get off your headphones so you can answer such questions as, "Good morning". I feel like I'm … Continue reading Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures
Defending My Territory
I was just looking at some photos of Scotland this morning. They really took me on a stroll down memory lane. My favorite memory of Scotland? That I wasn't at work, and I wasn't writing a stupid blog post that would get 15 views and 25 likes. Those were some pretty great memories. If only … Continue reading Defending My Territory
Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures
I live in Utah, where it gets pretty hot during the summer (16 days this summer where we hit the triple digits) but it's dry heat, so we don't get near as hot as the humid area people. Luckily, I've figured out a really great way to beat the oppressive heat of the summer and … Continue reading Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 