Generic Bitter Friday Giftures

Since I’m going to be taking care of very important business this Friday, I’m not going to be available to you for your weekly dose of bitterness. I know you expect high-quality content every single Friday without exception, because you’re greedy and needy. I know you all think I’m a creative genius, and you’re right, but genius takes time. So here I am on a Thursday, trying to get into Friday mode, and I don’t have the time to make this particular post a work of art. So, I’m sorry to tell you, but you don’t get my A+ effort on this one. For the first time ever, I’m not going to give you my full attention, my bitterest content or any effort. I’m going to give you some vanilla ice cream, but you’re not getting any nuts, Hershey’s syrup, or cool whip. This is salad without any dressing. In a 22-episode TV series, this would be episode 6, that one that isn’t a series premiere, a season finale or even an episode set up for the penultimate. It’s going to be just enough content to get you to the Giftures and make you want to tune in next week when the real good stuff finally gets back, (as soon as I get back.)

Just like a filler episode is just to get you to next week, I’m going to fill in a bunch of words in these sentences to add to the word count. I’m going to be like a 7th grade English student whose paper is due tomorrow, and they just need to have 500 in order to get a C. The nice thing is that at least I will give you some generic words that at least sound interesting. Sandwich, mincemeat, follicle, run on sentence, random quote, funny line, ironic twist, hilarious middle words, and bad grammar with spelling. Toaster, unicorn, soliloquy, psychology, Adidas, spewing, bamboozled, architecture, clandestine, kaleidoscope, and luminescence.

Laughter, bad transition to bitter giftures…

Quirky girl…

…saying relatable quote.

Mandatory…

…office quote.

Obligatory…

…Friday pizza shot.

Random…

…Rock clapping gifture.

Funny…

…record scratch.

Annoying…

…neighborhood kid.

We’ll throw in some…

…random explosions.

Can’t do a Friday without…

…some old school Spiderman footage.

We’ll throw in an awesome…

…viral moment for all.

A silly…

…goat’s gruff.

A kid getting…

…stuck in a chair.

And we can’t forget about…

…a chicken eating chicken nuggets.

I’m not sorry for only giving my C effort this week, because my overall average is an A+. So you’re just going to have to deal with a filler blog post. If you really wanted to see my best efforts, just check out one of the last, I don’t know…1391 posts I did. Then next time I post you can be back on track.

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Generic Post Ben

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