I don't know if you've noticed, but when it comes to the DC Universe, there are two Co-Alpha Dogs. The two of them are so strikingly different, that they would be on par with how different my two kids are. You know the two I'm talking about. Superman and Batman. Before all the epic DC … Continue reading Phantom Zone Bitterness
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Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Back in 1996, the NBA released their list of the Top 50 players of all time and as soon as they did, they created a debate among fans. It got them what they wanted, which was a lot of attention to the game. At the time, most people agreed that Michael Jordan was the GOAT, … Continue reading Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
My Hostage Demands
There are a lot of things that I am, but one of the things I'm not is a demanding person. If you are a customer service rep, you want my name to pop up on your caller ID, because this is going to be an easy call. If you are my family, you know I … Continue reading My Hostage Demands
Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
A long time ago, in a land not so far away, 3 other guys and I did a not-planned-very-well-at-all day trip to a canyon, in which they decided to be dumb and drive down into ravine in early May. In the location of which I speak, it was a steep climb back up and snow … Continue reading Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
Everything is Merging Bitterness
Star Date: December 15, 1984. I don't remember many days in my life. I remember a few of my birthday's and occasionally I remember the day I got married. Sometimes, I remember my kid's births, but beyond that, I don't remember many days. Most of them just merge together. But December 15, 1984 was one … Continue reading Everything is Merging Bitterness
A/B itter Testing BFG’s
When I was young, I had a really diverse palate. I ate mushed up peas, carrots, bananas and even apples. My mom fooled me into believing that they tasted good by using a deceptive trick she called airplane mode. She would maneuver a spoonful of yucky tasting crushed up carrots in an airplane motion to … Continue reading A/B itter Testing BFG’s
Playing in the Sandbox BFG’s
One of my first memories was when I 5 years old. My mom gave me and my younger brother some Superman and Batman pajamas. We were so excited about our PJ's that we decided to start fighting crime right away. This was back in the late 70's, where parents let their kids roam freely, but … Continue reading Playing in the Sandbox BFG’s
Slightly Off Balance Bitterness
I have no balance in my life, and it's my right leg's fault. When I was in junior high, whenever I wanted to participate in a sport, I had to get the yearly physical. Junior high was already the worst and most embarrassing and humiliating part of my life. The physical was just the cherry … Continue reading Slightly Off Balance Bitterness
Center of the Universe
Thanks to a lot of cartoons I watched when I was young, I know way more about the universe than scientists. I learned from highly literary sources such as He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Transformers, and of course, the Superfriends. I learned that there is definitely intelligent life out there and it isn't … Continue reading Center of the Universe
Rewiring my Brain BFG’s
In my favorite series of all time, Video Game High School, there is an episode where Brian has to practice disarming a bomb for his upcoming video game match. He had always been exceptional at disarming bombs, but this particular week, he was distracted and disarmed by a girl he liked, so he lost his … Continue reading Rewiring my Brain BFG’s
Mediocrates Bitterness
I didn't get a proper education growing up in South Dakota, because my English teachers forgot to teach me about the Greek Gods. I never learned about the Italian Gods (my favorite Italian God is Little Caeser), or the Brazilian Gods either. If it wasn't for video games and TV, I never would have known … Continue reading Mediocrates Bitterness
Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Most people have no idea what they want to do as a career in life, even well into college and even after graduating. That wasn't true with me. I decided in 7th grade. I was in a Social Studies class and our teacher made us do an assignment to figure out our careers. I guarantee … Continue reading Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Cracking Necks and Cashing Checks
You have no idea how much of a burden I carry on a daily basis. My brain is constantly full because I only have capacity for 20 Gigs of information, but it is full of really bad ideas. I have to have an external drive to put all the bad ideas. I put a lot … Continue reading Cracking Necks and Cashing Checks
My 10% Rule BFG’s
I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. Actually, I don't know if I want to do that, because I heard sharing a secret with a person turns them into a friend and I definitely don't need or want one of those. Friends are too messy and they always betray you anyways. … Continue reading My 10% Rule BFG’s
Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
I've been in the working industry for a long time. When I was a kid, my dad told me that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Since I was born at 8 pm at night, I was already proven as the laziest family member because I didn't have my first job until … Continue reading Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Since I like to avoid people as much as possible, I started watching YouTube videos on my headphones at work, so I could zone people out. One of the Youtubers I started watching was Casey Neistat. Some people might know him for a few viral videos he made, but he was mostly popular because he … Continue reading Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Expressions are meant to sound catchy and easy to remember, and as a means for uncreative people to fill up their Instagram feeds. A long time ago, I thought quotes were motivational. This was back when I was a single celled organism, and I had no idea how to be creative. But as soon as … Continue reading Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
There is a popular song out right now called Victoria's Secret by a singer named Jax. If you've never heard it, or paid attention to the lyrics (which I almost never do), it's basically a parody about all the things that Victoria's Secret "teaches" society about what women should look like. In one of the … Continue reading Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
When I was young, I loved the Transformers. Coming home to watch the Transformers was my reward for making it through a hard 6-hour day of school. One of my favorite characters was the advanced scout, Mirage, because he could turn invisible and would warn the Autobots of an early attack by Decepticons. I must … Continue reading Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
The REAL History of Thanksgiving
I've always been an advocate of short work weeks. I've been pushing my company really hard to go to the 1-day work week for some time. So far, so bad. We did recently reach a compromise of me keeping me job by working 5 days a week. Don't worry though. They are starting to crack. … Continue reading The REAL History of Thanksgiving
Ben's Bitter Blog 