Testing The Waters Bitterness

If there is one thing that I didn't like about school, besides having to be around people, and dealing with authority figures, and the homework, and the reading and the math and the science and the cold weather, and the bullying and the broken system that schools are, it was the tests. I never understood … Continue reading Testing The Waters Bitterness

The REAL History of Thanksgiving

I've always been an advocate of short work weeks. I've been pushing my company really hard to go to the 1-day work week for some time. So far, so bad. We did recently reach a compromise of me keeping me job by working 5 days a week. Don't worry though. They are starting to crack. … Continue reading The REAL History of Thanksgiving

Sports Torture BFG’s

Last Friday, I pretended I was sick so I could leave work early. Normally when I pretend I'm sick I just go home and play video games and sleep on the couch. But this time, it was for unselfish reasons. Instead of being lazy, I actually intentionally decided to go outside and sit in the … Continue reading Sports Torture BFG’s

Driving you up the paywall BFG’s

As a sign of appreciation for feeding her for 18 years, and allowing her to stay rent-free in our house, my daughter abandoned us to go to college. Pretty great gesture if you ask me. Then she decided that she didn't want to go to college right across the freeway from us so she could … Continue reading Driving you up the paywall BFG’s

Living Rent-Free BFG’s

My wife and I have been looking for ways to become independently wealthy for some time now. She would really like to go shopping without looking at price tags. She would also love to have a maid, a personal chef and personal trainer. She would also like a car with heated seats, and a house … Continue reading Living Rent-Free BFG’s

Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s

Do you remember that stupid game your teachers made you play when you were a kid, where the teacher tells one kid a secret and then you had to tell the next person the thing they said? At the end, the last person would try to say the thing that the first person said, and … Continue reading Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s

Nobody is looking at you BFG’s

I haven't progressed much since my teen years. Just like I did in my teens, I still play video games, I still wear jeans and shorts (and jean shorts(jorts)), and still also have a driver's license just like I did as a teen. As the old expression goes, "The more things change, the more things … Continue reading Nobody is looking at you BFG’s

I will soon own Scotland…and then the World

Taking over the world is hard work. Terrorists are constantly trying to do it in movies, governments are always trying to topple other governments and countries one at a time, and Pinky and the Brain have been trying to do it since 1995. Sorry lab rat, beat you to it. Unfortunately for Pinky and the … Continue reading I will soon own Scotland…and then the World

Misery loves Privacy BFG’s

Last week, I said I was taking care of important business, so I just had to give my blog the average amount of attention. That was because I was dropping my daughter off to college. It was important for me to do so, because she is now attending my alma mater. Which according to Wikipedia … Continue reading Misery loves Privacy BFG’s

Generic Bitter Friday Giftures

Since I'm going to be taking care of very important business this Friday, I'm not going to be available to you for your weekly dose of bitterness. I know you expect high-quality content every single Friday without exception, because you're greedy and needy. I know you all think I'm a creative genius, and you're right, … Continue reading Generic Bitter Friday Giftures

Emotional Support Video Game

I don't know about you, but I'm fascinated by the story of Steve Jobs. Why? Because he more at things than I have ever even attempted. Failure is the bedrock of bitterness. And if you think I'm bitter, you should see how bitter Steve Jobs was. Not as bitter, but he was one of the … Continue reading Emotional Support Video Game

Dueling Identities Bitter Friday Giftures

Did you know that there are literally millions of podcasts on the internet right now? I didn't know that either, because I'm just guessing. What do you think, I talk about facts on here? Almost everything I write is either made up or mostly made up. But one thing I do know is that there … Continue reading Dueling Identities Bitter Friday Giftures

Kid Icarus Complex Bitter Friday Giftures

I never paid attention much in school when it came to Greek Gods and myths and legends. Turns out I probably should have paid less attention to math and science and more attention the Legends. Because the kind of math that I use nowadays can either be solved by calculators, Excel or YouTube. But the … Continue reading Kid Icarus Complex Bitter Friday Giftures

The Official Water Supplier of Football Player BFG’s

Sports and marketing go together like Bitter and Ben. No movie better encapsulates sports marketing than Jerry Maguire. He taught us really important lessons like, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!" and other things, like repeating phrases over and over to emphasize fairly unimportant things like love. Pam Beasley from the Office was even inspired to abandon … Continue reading The Official Water Supplier of Football Player BFG’s

Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures

My favorite thing to do at work is chatting and chilling with my co-workers. Who needs headphones or distracting work when you can absentmindedly trade small talk with your co-workers. The day wouldn't feel complete without having to get off your headphones so you can answer such questions as, "Good morning". I feel like I'm … Continue reading Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures

Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures

I live in Utah, where it gets pretty hot during the summer (16 days this summer where we hit the triple digits) but it's dry heat, so we don't get near as hot as the humid area people. Luckily, I've figured out a really great way to beat the oppressive heat of the summer and … Continue reading Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures

Getting the Job I really Want Bitterness

When I first started my job at a radio company, they had a reader board above the conference room. One of ladies in my department had just celebrated her 15 years there. I had a few reactions to that. My first reaction was, "How could anyone have the endurance to last 15 years at a … Continue reading Getting the Job I really Want Bitterness

Uniting the Clans Bitterness

It's pretty funny to me that companies actually have different departments the each have their own bosses. For instance, the company that I work for has a graphic design department, and an accounting department, and a marketing department. Some people might mistake being in a department as a team of people that work together. What … Continue reading Uniting the Clans Bitterness

Hollywood Destruction Bitterness

As the creator of insanely awesome bitter content that YOU get the privilege of reading/experiencing/bitterly laughing your head off to twice weekly, I understand the value of creating. I take my humor and bitterness very seriously, because you deserve to have the most creative bitter blogging possible. Most people live their whole lives in peaceful … Continue reading Hollywood Destruction Bitterness