I had a really great babysitter when I was young. I have nothing but glowing reviews, literally. I loved my babysitter so much that I will recommend that my kids and grandkids even use my babysitter. If you've ever seen Cable Guy with Jim Carrey or numerous other shows or movies when you were young, … Continue reading Maintaining the World
Bitter Friday Giftures
Blog Ideas
Note to self: Just a draft. Do not publish. Blog post ideas: March 26 Oscars are so boring. Do I even write about them anymore. What could I talk about that would make them more interesting. I guess I could make some absurd predictions about what will happens. Will...that reminds of wIll smith...something so absured … Continue reading Blog Ideas
Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
I used to care about famous people. I looked up to them because they could memorize lines or dribble basketballs really well. Then I grew up and realized that most of them were just really suck. Most of them either got lucky, focused maniacally on one thing in detriment to anything else in their lives, … Continue reading Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
Punch Accepted
By the time I reached college, I had not earned enough achievements. If Xbox achievements existed back in my day, I would have registered a big fat zero. In other words, I had caused so few waves in high school, I didn't have one school fight under my belt. No one had swung at me, … Continue reading Punch Accepted
Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures
I love listening to my headphones at work because it seems dangerously close to not doing work, which is my favorite thing to do. Work avoidance, both at work and at home are really great skills to have. I've always tried my best to be mediocre or less in everything I do. Yesterday, I accidentally … Continue reading Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures
Camera BFG’s (Bitter Friday Giftures)
What do you think is more prestigious? Being on the cover of a magazine or being featured on a sweatshirt? This might have been a hard question back in the 80's when I grew up, because back then we had a thing called magazines. It's hard to imagine my kids even understanding the importance of … Continue reading Camera BFG’s (Bitter Friday Giftures)
Blog Burning BFG’s
My patheticness, sorry I mean, my apatheticness toward reading started at a really young age. My mom took special care to not read to me every night, because she had an infinitely more important child that she had to make a success. My sister was always more important to my parents, so of course, they … Continue reading Blog Burning BFG’s
Group Text Bitterness
In this big bitter world of ours, it is increasingly important to be a multitasker. There are too many unimportant things going on to do just one thing. Kids are aces at pulling off multitasking. They can watch Tik Tok, Snapchat their friends, play video games, watch YouTube, not clean their rooms, and forget to … Continue reading Group Text Bitterness
Pharm-assist BFG’s
Believe it or not, I was once a tall, skinny teenager. Yeah. Back in the 80's when I ate peanut butter sandwiches and played sports just for the fun of it. Playing sports was so automatic, I could play tennis when I was watching TV, or hit a baseball with one arm while punching my … Continue reading Pharm-assist BFG’s
Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Besides the fact that I'm so dynamic, handsome and funny, one of the biggest reasons why wife decided to marry me is because I'm so adventurous. For instance, I will venture off the couch and take out the garbage. Sometimes I'll eat a stuff crusted pepperoni instead of a regular crusted pepperoni pizza. It is … Continue reading Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Original Programming BFG’s
I was born in the 70's, but grew up in the 80's. I'm not sure if you could compare the 80's to any other decade ever. It was bizarre fashion (parachute pants, leg warmers, etc), bright colors, outlandish music and some pretty crazy TV's and movies. For every great program that came out of the … Continue reading Original Programming BFG’s
Making Traitor’s BFG’s
While I lived in South Dakota from 3rd grade until high school, my family went through an existential crisis of living in LA and NY. I don't remember much of New York, but I also went through an existential crisis when I lived there. It was called "enjoying baseball". The baseball brainwashing started when I … Continue reading Making Traitor’s BFG’s
Witness Protection Bitterness
When I was a kid, other kids were always asking me to play sports with them. As an early bitterness adopter, I tried my darndest to ignore these little same-aged cretins. But my mother always insisted that I go play with these weirdos, (probably because she wanted me to leave her alone) even though something … Continue reading Witness Protection Bitterness
Only In Dreams BFG’s
I once read something. I know, you're probably shaking your head in disbelief and probably laughing to yourself. You're probably at work, with your headphone on, trying to focus on the task at hand, but a little laugh is swelling inside you. It's probably reminding you of a recent Tik Tok you saw of a … Continue reading Only In Dreams BFG’s
Energy Monster BFG’s
In the beginning, I liked Superhero movies. The whole appeal was imagining what I could do with superpowers. For instance, what would I do with super strength, super speed, or the ability to fly? Of course, if I had them, I wouldn't use them to save people, nor would I use them for evil. That … Continue reading Energy Monster BFG’s
Heads Up BFG’s
Like, the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, I've always been looking for my brain. It's there, I know, but it always seems to betray in my moment of need. Sure, it keeps me alive, is the central hub for figuring out how to walk, talk, breathe and how to write scorchingly funny, yet deeply … Continue reading Heads Up BFG’s
Framing BFG’s
Since I like having 4 walls and a roof above my head, I've had to work for a living most of my life. Much like many of you, I haven't worked the same job my whole life, so I've had a variety of jobs. One summer I worked a construction job, and another time I … Continue reading Framing BFG’s
Doc Awkward BFG
I spent my Christmas vacation like I spend all my time. Being disappointed. Disappointed that I couldn't find any awesome gifts to give myself. Disappointed that my family wanted to be around me, despite the fact that I'm no fun to be around. But the biggest disappointment was that I wasn't able to watch more … Continue reading Doc Awkward BFG
Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Growing up in California, one of my earliest memories was when I was 5. My mom made me and my brother some capes made out of felt and a little buckle to fasten around our necks. I, of course, was Superman, because he could fly and my brother was Batman, because he liked brooding in … Continue reading Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Building A Bitter Fortress BFG
The reason why Community is my second favorite show, is 1: because of the writing, but two because it reminds of me of my juvenile college years (though some would say I'm still in my juvenile years). They are always up to some crazy highjinks, like paintball or playing a video games to earn inheritances. … Continue reading Building A Bitter Fortress BFG
Ben's Bitter Blog 