I feel like we are all a little out of whack here. And by that I mean all of YOU are out of whack. I've noticed that you bums are all busy doing nice things for others, attending parties that you are actually having fun at, and enjoying food other than pizza. And to … Continue reading Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
Laziness
Taking over the World
It was 1998 when I knew I wanted to take over the world. Pinky and the Brain inspired it. (If a couple of lab rats can almost do it, I certainly could with my human like size.) My best friend from college and I always talked about it and planned it. We would start slowly with him … Continue reading Taking over the World
The Bitter Gauntlet
I was born in the 70's, which means...I grew up in the 80's. If you've read the history books about the 80's (or lived in them) it was a colorful time...literally. Colors that no other decade would even touch (like neon anything), fabrics no other decade would wear (parachute pants?), and hairstyles no other decade … Continue reading The Bitter Gauntlet
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
You would think that this time of year, with the spirit of the holidays, competition would begin to tail off a little bit. But you would be wrong. Things seem to heat up even more for some reason. Rivalries start to get even more intense. The Great American Light Fight has expanded the fight to … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
Unstable Friday Giftures
I've been thrown off kilter this week, because for some reason I decided to take the whole week but Friday off. Getting up for one day of work is exhausting and I think after already 20 minutes of work I have done already, I'm already ready for the weekend. Remind me next time to just … Continue reading Unstable Friday Giftures
The Bitter Safety Dance
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about me. Listen closely now. Ready? I have a little trouble with authority. Ever since I was young. Close your mouth from the shock. Take you finger out of the light socket. You don't want to get shocked a second time. Remove your tongue from the … Continue reading The Bitter Safety Dance
The Bitter RadiNo Disney
I do a lot of things in my car that I don't do normally do otherwise. I scream out loud, I sing, I lay down on a seat instead of a couch, I run from the cops, etc. There is just something about having a heavy metal layer of protection around you that allows you … Continue reading The Bitter RadiNo Disney
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Scrooge vs. The Grinch
We are in the middle of a huge flood. Batten down the hatches and start weatherproofing your house. The cheesy Hallmark, ABC Family, Lifetime, UP Network and all other channel onslaught of Christmas specials are coming. Romance in snowed airports, Christmas dogs, losing jobs in marketing, finance and accounting and having to return to family … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Scrooge vs. The Grinch
Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
I was a walking disaster yesterday. All my hair fell out (I got a hair cut), I got stuck to the couch (gravity can be such a bother sometimes) and I cut my thumb while losing a fight to my eight year old. Some days are just more bitter than others. If my life … Continue reading Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
The Bitter Dust Collector
If you've ever been the least bit obsessed about anything and felt like kind of a tool for liking something too much, just enter the name of that thing into Google and you can find a vast array of people around the world that are WAY more of a tool than you. When I was … Continue reading The Bitter Dust Collector
Bitter Ben’s Movie Review: Furious 7
There's a lot of words that can describe the little movie franchise that could. Fast. Furious. Fast and Furious. 2 Fast 2 Furious. Fast 5. Furious 7. The list of ways to describe it are endless. Somehow I missed this one in the theaters, but I saw it on Blu-Ray this weekend. Let me put … Continue reading Bitter Ben’s Movie Review: Furious 7
Binge Watching Bitterness – Bitter News From the Couch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwEqzAcTKw8 I'm going to go ahead and assume that all of you tell the truth on every blog post you've ever written, because I certainly always do. Especially that time I told you about my B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness that educates willing minds about how to be more bitter. And that one time I claimed … Continue reading Binge Watching Bitterness – Bitter News From the Couch
Bitter Heads Up Display
Most people think of Thanksgiving as a way to spend time with their families and friends and shopping the early sales or watching football. Not me. To me, it is all about the laziness. The sitting around of the couch, the sitting around of the buffet, the sitting around of the napping, the sitting around … Continue reading Bitter Heads Up Display
Bitter Pushover Black Friday Giftures
You realize that Black Friday is a crazy day filled with lunatics pushing each other out of the way for products that they are using to push their old stuff out of the way right? You know what else Black Friday is? It is the December holidays pushing Thanksgiving out of the way. As … Continue reading Bitter Pushover Black Friday Giftures
Bitter Ben Cinemas Present
Bitter Thanksgiving everyone! I know you are at home right now, dying because you are trapped in the kitchen making stuff, or trapped being with your boooring family, or stuck watching your sucky football team lose miserably by just 1 point, or stuck looking at advertisements for the Black Friday that you are going to … Continue reading Bitter Ben Cinemas Present
Starlight Blogger Award – Bitter Award Acceptance Speech
I'm not gonna lie. I've been nominated for these made up blog awards many times and have never done anything with them. Some bloggers love them because they give them something to blog about when they can't think of something. Others love them because they feel like other bloggers care about them enough to … Continue reading Starlight Blogger Award – Bitter Award Acceptance Speech
The Key to Bitter Success
I've been in the bitter blog game for a while. It's been a roller coaster ride that never seems to end. There was the super slow climb to the peak of the roller coaster where it took more than six months for anyone to notice that it even existed, to the peak like 2 years … Continue reading The Key to Bitter Success
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Up vs. Down
Frosty the Snowman came to visit this weekend. He and his friend Elsa were playing snowball catch in the backyard. Captain Cold and Mr. Freeze were ice bowling in the front yard. Blizzard and Ice cream were on a date and a bunch of other cool people were hanging out and some were watching Netflix … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Up vs. Down
The Bitter Library of Giftures
This is no ordinary library, where I'm sitting at the help desk quietly ignoring your requests for help. This isn't a place where you whisper in your screaming voice to all your neighbors about what you are reading. This is the Bitter Library of Giftures. We are similar to other libraries in that we … Continue reading The Bitter Library of Giftures
According to Harvard and Science…The Bitter Intellectual
When I do a post on the Bitter Blog, I never go into it ill prepared. Nothing is thrown together. Every word, every detail, every grammar and made up word is heavily researched by my staff and has three sources to back it up. Otherwise, how could my loyal audience trust that this bitterness is … Continue reading According to Harvard and Science…The Bitter Intellectual
Ben's Bitter Blog 