Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Up vs. Down

Dancing up a storm at the party.

Dancing up a storm at the party.

Frosty the Snowman came to visit this weekend.  He and his friend Elsa were playing snowball catch in the backyard.  Captain Cold and Mr. Freeze were ice bowling in the front yard.  Blizzard and Ice cream were on a date and a bunch of other cool people were hanging out and some were watching Netflix and chilling. They were all partying with the ice planet Pluto disco ball.  It was bad enough that they weren’t invited but it was pretty rude that they left so much frost on the ground this morning.


All I know is I didn’t invite these people to my house. Party crashers are the worst, but even more when there actually wasn’t a party.  They thought they were pretty cool, but all they wanted to do was chill. And I kept running out of ice in the fridge.

Then it all blew up.  They all started arguing about which direction was better.  Frosty was drinking a cold root beer and just blurted out that his favorite direction was One Direction. The others threw shade at him and said, “We meant between Up and Down you dingbat.”

The argument raged.

Sub-Zero thinks he wins.

Sub-Zero thinks he wins.

Sub-Zero was telling everyone about the movie UP.  He said it was a moving tale of an old man who wanted to live an adventurous life with his wife, but she dies too soon.  He loved the part where they got caught up in the clouds and you could tell it was just a little too chilly up in the air.

Then the Ice Queen fought back. She argued that Downton Abbey was the best show on TV, because it was about manners and high society and queens and how you should all bow down to her.

Someone else mentioned they thought One Upon a Time was the best way to start a story. Also no better way to end a story.

Another mentioned that Robert Downey Jr. was the heart and soul of the Avengers Universe.  If it wasn’t for him, there would be no coolness to the story.  And also remember at the end of the Avengers when he flew to high in the sky and ended up falling down?

Santa goes up, and down.

Santa goes up, and down.

Then Santa Claus mentioned UPS. How would I make all my deliveries to all the children if I didn’t have UPS?

Then Scrat from Ice Age just said, “lsdkfjlsdfjlsdkfldskjfkld” which I think roughly translates to “I would do anything for an acorn.  Even fall down.”

It was a never ending debate and it just left everyone with a cold shoulder when they left.  I was pretty bitter because they left all the frost on my grass this morning.  I have no idea which direction is better.  Now I just need to go lie down.

So which direction is your favorite? Which one is better? Debates begin in the comments.


Bitter Direction Ben


24 thoughts on “Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Up vs. Down

  1. I like the direction at a train station. It’s funny as h… when they look you right in the eye and say your train is a little late but will be there in about five minutes. Or at the post office. “we have tracked your package. those pt erishble rush careful handle items should be here by tomorrow.” the best, though, is when some local who doesn’t drive sends you down a one way street the wrong way. Happy thanksgiving.


  2. I’m gonna have to go with “up” here – at least when it comes to “going, being,feeling, dressing, moving, turning, keeping, living it, and talking someone”.
    “Down” is really only better when “getting” or “throwing”.
    With “putting” and “taking” – it’s pretty much of a draw – speaking of which, you can add “draw” to the “up” camp.


  3. I suddenly feel queasy after reading this post, like I just took a fast ride on a roller coaster in the middle of Siberia. Personally, I don’t care for so many ups and downs. Life is so much smoother on a straight, steady track. Or not moving in any direction at all. (But the Siberia part’s not so bad. The cold never bothered me anyway).


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