First of all, I know talking about pets is a sensitive subject, which is why I plan on talking about it. I know some people’s life depend on their pets, maybe because they are a crazy cat lady, or because their dog cares about them way too much, but this rhinoceros pet owning is getting a little out of hand. I mean seriously, stop with all the mounds of poop left of my lawn and getting spiked by his stupid horn when I’m trying to get my paper in the morning (just kidding, I get the internet in the morning).
It was bad enough when I had to deal with all the birds lounging around on his back, but really it has to stop when it comes to him thinking he can just chill in my above ground pool like it is his marshy swamp. Speaking of Rhinoceros, where did the expression for letting the cat out of the bag come from?
Who was just chilling in their shack in the middle ages, wandering the stony streets, dragging their cat around in a bag? Were they trying to bring their cat to the market and sell it for a haypenny or two? What must that struggle have been like if it was a burlap sack that had plentiful holes in it, and the cat had plentiful nails? Why wouldn’t you let that cat out of the bag when it was screeching and scratching and giving you nothing but trouble?
Anyway, I have quite a cat in the bag that I need to tell everyone about, but I’m not quite ready to do that. Either I tell it and I get jinxed or something else happens that makes the story not complete. Or I find a way to screw this up and it goes completely sideways and it becomes a different story.
I assume you are interested in the story because you have read this far. Since I have no story to tell yet, I thought I would just entice you. Interested yet? Good. Now I shall subtly change the subject.
How about those sports? Pretty interesting huh? Oh and politics right? What about that entertainment bit of news? What else is there to talk about with people again? History? Science? Crime scenes? Alright, one of those things should have distracted you by now.
While you are distracted, I am going to go over here.
Sneak, sneak, sneak..
Anyways, so that is it. I have a story that will wait for another day.
Now it is your turn. What cat do you need to let out of the bag? What is your favorite story about annoying animals in the neighborhood? What is your favorite way to distract people?
Bitter Cat out of the Bag Ben