I’m not exactly what you would call a math savant. In fact, what most people would call me is the low end of the totem barrel. At the beginning of a semester of a math class, my high end goal was C-. You know, just enough to get by, to not get a D or F or whatever was below that. One semester of college, I had a huge jerk of a teacher that taught stats. He was good at three things: stats, sucking on his mega 85 ounce sports cup full of Diet Coke with one of those plastic bendy straws, and making sure we knew full well what his religion was, and how he was going to take days off according to it. Oh and failing students. The one thing he wasn’t good at doing? Teaching.
In fact, he was so bad, that before he even started the first class, he said that we would need extra credit, which involved going to an extra class with him later on. I knew I was going to need that, but I could barely stand 3 hours a week with this guy and having to spend additional hours with him was not worth it. Suffice it to say, that by the end of the semester, I was pulling a strong 10% in class, which I’m not sure if you have deduced this, was not an A.
Speaking of grades in general, how is it that in most things in life, doing something 50% is actually a good thing, but in school 50% is like less than an F? Like if Steph Curry hits 50% of his three pointers, the NBA rushes to give him more money than Midas, but if I get a 50% on a test, I get punted out of a class?
So I failed the class. But you know it wouldn’t be Bitter Ben story without some sort of revenge. Teacher musta forgot there were teacher evaluations. I put my full revenge/writing skills on display and gave him preeeety much zero’s (I at least learned something about stats from class) and used phrases like Bully in a China shop, and other memorable, quotable phrases. Come to find out, next semester, guy was gone. He should have learned not to mess with me. Either that or other people might have had not so nice things about him either.
I barely cared at all about percentages(other than the 10% I got on my final grade) at all, until recently. Nowadays, there is one percentage that I not only care about, but obsess about. The one percentage that rules them all. You are probably reading right now from a device that is at 65% or 5% and you are deciding if this post is even worth finishing. The almighty battery percentage(or phone data) on your phone.
It tells you whether you can send one more text, one more email, Snap another chat, Insta another Gram, Face another book, Twit another ter, or more recently, Pokemon another Go. It makes you so crazy that the first thing you do when you walk into someone’s house isn’t “Can I use your restroom?” but “Can I use your outlet?”. If they say it’s okay, the person allowing the outlet usage is like offering water to someone that has been wandering in a desert for 40 days a drink of water.
We all play the percentage game. Some of us are gamblers and like to see how far down we can go before having to plug in(or risk having slow data). Others of us are safe siders that have to have a plug everywhere, from home to car to work and even carry an emergency backup in the backpack or purse. If there is no charger, one starts to get anxiety to the point where nothing else matters. In fact, if you are one of those people, you probably know the percentage on your phone right now. (Mine is 100% right now.)
Just a suggestion for teachers of stats nowadays. If you want to get across your message to your students, make sure to use examples featuring phone battery or data. Because if you don’t you might as well be the guy sucking on the 85 ounce Diet Coke, because you are gonna be fired.
ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Percentage Ben
My stats professor was a really nice guy. Even let us use one page of notes for the exams. Unfortunately he was also totally brilliant, and didn’t understand that his extensive forays into theoretical statistics probably weren’t helpful to a bunch of business students. I ended up with a C, probably out of compassion for the deer in the headlights look I had most of the time.
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Sounds like all the bitterness I had with my professor. On the other hand, I took a night class with a new professor and got an A. It had everything in the world to do with the professor.
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I was rubbish at Maths for a very long time (which was a bit embarrasing as my dad is an accountant) so to save face I progressed to semi getting it. So no surprise that your blog post really made me laugh in high percentages!
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I’m sure your dad would forgive you for not being good at boring math. Glad you got at least a .125% of a laugh out of all of it.
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Yeah he doesn’t mind at all…. He probably thinks it’s boring too. Thanks!
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That’s a good dad. Now if my kids don’t like writing…well, you better believe I will mind…kidding.
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Ha ha! Yes that would be cause for a very serious discussion! Luckily both of my children are creatively inclined, my youngest is a dancer and keen photographer and my eldest writes too!
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Yeah it’s funny because my daughter doesn’t write stuff yet, but I think she is very in tune with stories and plots and building worlds. I’m guessing as soon as she starts taking classes she will be a great writer. And my son is into sports and games etc.
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Sounds like a nice mix Ben. I think my hubby would like a son into sports and games, sadly we’re a bit lacking in that department.
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Well, I enjoyed the sports when I was younger, but I think I played to late into an age I shouldn’t have and have ruined my back and knees. I sure enjoy watching him do it though.
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That’s lovely. Yes my knees aren’t what they used to be either..
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I guess we should have given up on stuff earlier in life.. Sounds like I should have been a better quitter…
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Of course, if you (or your kid) needs to charge a phone while camping, you may not want to do it while the car isn’t running. Otherwise, you may get 100% on your phone battery, but 0% on your car battery. Which may or may not have just happened today to someone I know.
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Yeah, I would never do anything dumb like that today.
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I didn’t take stats and when I left my one and only negative review of a teacher (which included something along the lines of “he’s a really good teacher but he needs to wear deodorant, shave his beard, cut his hair”), I signed my name. (I am not good at anonymity.) Imagine my chagrin when I saw him at graduation neatly attired and well groomed…
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See the power of negative reviews? I could have a 100 positive comments and the 1 negative one would make be so bitter I would take revenge. You better believe that is what is going to happen if I ever publish a book.
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As an undergrad, I had to take 2 quarters of calculus. Now they say calculus is math, but I beg to differ. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be. In any case, somehow I managed to pass with D’s. D is done. And I’m not sure how I pulled it off. Maybe it was like the roomful of chimps with typewriters who will one day type Shakespeare by accident?
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Yeah, I think calculus was just some sort of made up math and word for that matter to torture students that just wanted to do something productive instead do some math thing. I accidentally answered some math answers right too, but only because of mistakes.
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Great description of math anxiety. And a HS professor doesn’t help with spreading math love.
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Although I’ve used basic math (like adding and subtracting), calculators make it so we don’t really need to use it much. And calculus? Geometry? Never used that from the day I left those classes.
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At first we had a ban on phones in the classroom. Now we use them in the lesson plan. We should ban education and then it will be used in the classroom. Reverse psych in action.
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That is a great idea. Maybe if we ban the use of manual learning, it will be so enticing to students that they will cheat to learn it that way.
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cheating is a fact of life. Ask any man who two timed his woman.
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Or any person that played board games with me when I was a kid.
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Not that bitter, perhaps an 80 on the IBBU – International Bitter Ben Units.
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Just wait until you lose your phone life and don’t have a charger around to resuscitate. Now that can make you bitter.
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Yes, that’s bitter laughter you hear.
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I prefer bitter screams, but bitter laughter will do in a pinch.
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I can relate to this Ben. I was breezing along doing great sophomore year college when I ran into statistics and deep and utter despair both being taught by the same teacher. I had to drop the class, if it weren’t for that I would be a renown statistician right now. grrrr.
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I should have dropped the class. That would have saved me a big hassle and I could have taken it in the summer (like I did) but staying in the class allowed me to eviscerate that guy and make sure that future generations didn’t have to suffer through this guys class again.
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You are good!
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Good at destroying professors.
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thumbs up and cheers!
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Lol! I once did the same with a female teacher. She’d told everyone to be short in their exam answers and never list more answers than she asked for, and then it turned out she gave EXTRA CREDIT if you were elaborate and/or added more answers to lists she asked. B*tch. I had to redo her exam and went from a 45% score to a 78%.
I totally rocked my evaluation, too, btw. Sadly, she was still there a year later. But I wasn’t in her class anymore, so I didn’t care.
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Teachers like that are the worst. The worst thing you can do as a teacher is tell people one thing and then expect another. Teachers like that should be eviscerated like that though.
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Amen!
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Nice going Ben! After you got the guy fired, her cried for days and he didn’t know how he was going to support his 9 cats! BTW, I think you are a bitter savant.
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He only had four cats. He probably went home and did a statistical analysis of how many days he could go without having a job and then went on unemployment.
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At least his math skills came in handy!
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Yep, that’s why I’m not able to do a statistical analysis on why so many people don’t like me.
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