In case you missed it…I’m blogging home alone

For those who got lost in cyberspace.

I blogging alone this month

November is my bitterest blogging time of the year.  There is a little known fact that just about everyone on WordPress is participating in NaNoWriMo, NaBloPoMo, or Movember and I just have one thing to say to all these weirdos.  Thanks a whole lot.  I mean it.  Now that you people will be busy writing all your happy and interesting stories, you won’t have time to bother me or my blog.  I will be like Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) from Home Alone, where I can blog at home about all the things I don’t like about you and your blogs and you won’t be reading them and you won’t be bothering me.  Maybe a couple of bumbling WordPress criminals will stalk my blog house in order to steal bitter words from me, but I will foil them with fake silhouettes of reader comments to fool them into thinking that all sorts of people are visiting my bitter blogs this month. So enjoy your boring vacation in sunny Hawaiipress.

“So tell me Bitter Ben, what did I miss this week?” BB asked.

“I’m glad you asked, Bitter Ben, since I didn’t read everything I wrote,” Bitter Ben retorted.

“Well, I wrote three posts. On Tuesday, I did a post called Download Bitterness,” BB said bitterly.

“Why?” Bitter Ben asked.

“Cause my Xbox took over an hour to download a 600 MB file, but it has taken me 40 years to download about 1% of math. Just kind of bitter about things taking so long,” says BB.

“What else?” Bitter Ben asks curiously.

“Well, on Thursday, since it was Halloween, I thought I give Bitter Reasons for Being Tall, because it has zero things in common with Halloween.  I’m thematic like that,” BB says.

“Anything else I can avoid reading?” Bitter Ben says.

“Yesterday I did the Friday Picture post, you know the boring one where I just find pictures from the internet and write stuff about them?” Bitter Ben says.

“Yeah, you are such a lazy turd,” BB says.

“Did you Twitter anything this week?” Bitter Ben says.

“Well, duh. Lots to be bitter about in 140 characters.”

 

 

“Were there any good comments?” Bitter Ben asks.

“You mean besides mine? Not really. But there are these,” BB says.

“I’ve always believed running is the root of all evil. Now I know for sure.” – She’s a Maineiac

“You strive to submerge to the lowest level of expectations. That takes talent. :-)” – Floridabourne

“It makes me a little sad to know that my kids will never know that tortured feline sound the internets used to make in the olden days.” – Kaela Moore

“I’m at -8% download. Not a good day. :(” – Kerry’s Organized Chaos

“Such trauma! Have you seen anyone about this? Bitter Halloween, Tall Face! :)” – Swimming to my 50’s

Some Bonus Pictures of my Month of Blogging Alone:

not-what-i-expected-19

I’m blog home alone.

 

I’m not prejudice, I’m bitter about everyone the same:

dlskajflksdjf

I’m selectively avoiding all bloggers this month.

Stars make me think of you.

Flames also make me think of you.

Flames also make me think of you.

Since I will be standing in line a lot people should know not to stand close to me.

Please, make sure you stand close to me in line because you'll still get to the front later.

Please, make sure you stand close to me in line because you’ll still get to the front later.

“Anything else you want to share today?” Bitter Ben asked.

“Yeah, can’t wait to tell myself all the bitter things that no one else will get to read this month.  I’m going to fall well short of 50,000 words too. Cause that many words make me bitter.”

“Thanks a lot, Bitter Ben,” BB says sarcastically.

“Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh,” Bitter Ben said.

 

Bitter Home Alone Ben

 

 

 

 

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40 thoughts on “In case you missed it…I’m blogging home alone

  1. Pingback: In case you missed it…This will help you forget | Ben's Bitter Blog

    • WordPress didn’t start any of them. It’s just that most everyone that blogs are writers too. So they all do the 50K words or post a day things in November. Just another reason to bitter because they are ignoring my blog.

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  2. Pingback: In case you missed it…It was a lazy week | Ben's Bitter Blog

  3. Pingback: Bitter Friday Pictures | Ben's Bitter Blog

  4. Pingback: The Bitter Blog Bandit is on the loose…again | Ben's Bitter Blog

  5. Suddenly feeling about 140% cooler because my comment made it into this post.
    We can be “I just don’t have time for NaNoWriMo” buddies. There’s more of us than we think, I’m sure.

    Like

  6. Hey, I’m the 31st person to like your post. Apparently, you’re not the only one to not Nano in November. You could start a Non-Nano Bitterness Club where everyone tweets laying down, gorges on candy, and posts about stars and bicycles and butterflies.

    Like

  7. I don’t nano anything. Nor will I read anybody’s nano stuff. Makes me much to bitter. So if you’re thinking about it Tallie, forget it. I won’t read your nano stuff either.

    Like

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