Black Friday bitterness

They just came out with a new video game for Black Friday!



As I spoke previously about my bitterness about holidays and how we don’t have enough, I have come to the realization that the reason why we don’t have more holidays is because we don’t appreciate the ones that we have.  Let’s face it, how much do we really care about them?  I mean we are mere days away from one of the biggest holidays in our country, one that isn’t celebrated in many other countries.  Yet to us it just barely a speedbump on the way to another big holiday season.  I previously spoke of Halloween as a day that we don’t even get off, and the next day is already a precursor to a new season.  I’m tired of this holiday not being given its proper due.

Of course you all know I am speaking of Black Friday.  It is simply the most overlooked holiday of the year.  Take a look at a newspaper ad or television station, or listen to the radio(Well, you can’t look at a radio ad).  Have you ever seen mention of a Black Friday ad?  There is all this hype about buying things, but the ads seem to be focused on Christmas.  I am bitter about this.  I think we need to raise awareness of the little known and celebrated holiday.  Do you know that some people in retail actually have to work on this day?  That just makes me so bitter.  Why can’t they stay home from work that day and be able to go out and shop just like the rest of us for ridiculously priced products?  And why are they not given the same privilege of leaving their houses a week before so they can camp out on a cold, hard wet ground in a small tent in a line around the block so they can just miss that last plasma televison for $20 off?  It isn’t right and I for one am going to march on Congress (when I am motivated enough to get off my couch) and fight for the rights of retail workers to get this wonderful holiday off.

You know what else makes me bitter about Black Friday? The crowds seem to be dying out.  The enthusiasm just isn’t there anymore.  I think last year on the news there were only several reports of beatings, fights breaking out and only a few tramplings.  What is this country coming to when they can’t even muster up enough energy to fight for these lowly priced products?  Where is passion for the buy 1 get one half off toasters?  I mean everyone needs at least 11 toasters right?  And if you only need 10, just throw one out.

We will call her Rebecca Black and her song shall be called Friday. This will create more buzz for what we call “Black Friday”.

Here is what I suggest.  Let’s get more hype surrounding Black Friday.  I suggest we get a girl named let’s say…Rebecca Black.  We could have her write a song called Friday, you know to just be a song that focuses just on Friday.  We make it a hit, like such a good song that everyone wants to post it on Youtube and talk of how delightful it is, but then she gets sad because she really didn’t intend to talk about Friday, but more about Monday.  So she decides to takes it off of YouTube, thus creating more demand for the song.  People will go out searching for the song and it will remind them of this thing called “Black Friday”.  You know because her last name is Black and she wrote a song called Friday.

Maybe if we have a Lord of the Rings theme, we could create more hype, because you know, people like the Lord of the Rings.

And here is my best idea of all.  We come up with a holiday for the day before Black Friday.  It doesn’t have to be much, maybe we can get some pilgrim theme where some people discovered America and they were preparing for Black Friday.  So then they decided that they would all get together for a gathering, say a feast where they could strategize for the best ways to approach the sales.  So while they are together they eat, I don’t know, maybe some turkey or stuffing, maybe some cranberry sauce or yams.  We call it something like Black Friday eve or Feast day, I don’t know.  Something where we are thankful for a day of great sales.  Maybe you guys could help me come up with a name.  Anyways, so we create a holiday built around the day before Black Friday.  It would cool and it would give us a day off of work where we could think soley about the next day.  How about it?  It makes me so bitter that we don’t have more publicity around this Black Friday.


Bitter Ben


8 thoughts on “Black Friday bitterness

  1. Congratualations – this is a great idea. Why, then we can have a holiday on both days! And no one can quibble. All these pictures in your post is also a great idea – it will subliminally induce people to buy more wall art, thus creating yet another trampling ground, but this one can be vertical, too.


    • I think a video game idea would be great like the idea above. It would be great to get the kids involved and would also give them more ideas on how to be more violent and start more riots at these small gatherings at stores.


    • For someone who is named littlemisswordy you sure used such few words to describe my post. 🙂 Thanks! I hope you join with me in my fight to get the day before Black Friday well known. Any ideas on what we should call it?


      • Okay, if you insist…my suggestion is we call it Thurston Thursday after the memorable Gilligan’s Island character who who would make a great poster boy for our new holiday,(if he’s still alive). The guy took tens of thousands of dollars in cash and several changes of clothing with him for what was intended to be only a three-hour boat tour, much like the preparation of organizing lists, coupons, and circulars pre Black Friday. Once stranded, he never gets a clue that his money is essentially useless now, much like the dazed look on the Black Friday newbies faces right before they get trampled as they reach for their wallets. He also somehow finds a way to never lift a finger to help the other castaways, EVER! And, finally you can’t help but love a guy who sleeps with a stuffed bear (about as warm and fuzzy as the mom who goes home at the end of Black Friday and hugs her kids knowing they’ll be getting the most demanded item this year, erasing all guilt of her knocking the elderly woman while she borrowed her walker to reach that Elmo on the top shelf).


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