I've got a lot of dreams in my life. Becoming a YouTube star. Becoming a professional video gamer. Winning the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes $5000 a week for life winner. Getting the most comfortable couch ever and laying in it for extended periods of time. Getting a pizza oven in my house. Learning how to make … Continue reading Sponsored Dreams
Some people probably think that I am a robot programmed for the one-dimensional purpose of being bitter. Part of that is true. I am a robot. And I am programmed for bitterness. But, there are actually many different subtle dimensions to my bitterness. I am programmed to behave differently in the traffic environment than … Continue reading Bitter Mode
I was talking to my wife the other day and I was comparing the days of the week to the months of the year. For the most part, it makes sense. January is definitely like Monday. Everyone is hungover from the holidays and the bitterness of family and togetherness and rage of the weekend … Continue reading BitterTine’s Day Bitter Friday Giftures
This is probably some really shocking news, but when I was growing up, pizza wasn't my favorite food. Probably because my parents didn't expose me much to pizza. Also, I was always hungry, and back then, Hot Pockets didn't exist and pizza wasn't exactly an easy thing to whip up when you are dying … Continue reading Today’s Story on Giphy
Yes, it is Sunday afternoon and you have nothing else to do. TV is getting old and you are tired of the kids. Escape to the computer room so you can watch the news. But not the same, boring, dull stuff that you keep seeing on your computer screen, but the entertaining, yet bitter news … Continue reading Bitter News from the Couch #8
Most of the time the only reason I follow the news is when I do research for my Bitter News from the Couch. And I only follow the stories that make sense to make fun of. When I woke up this morning, my wife told me about a story I absolutely needed to write … Continue reading Nine Lives Bitter Friday Giftures
As you saw from my lazy post yesterday, I fancy myself as an amateur filmmaker. I admit I'm a horrible actor, for many reasons. Let's take a moment to list those reasons. 1. I have a monotone voice. 2. I have a face for blogging. 3. I can't memorize a single line. 4. I have … Continue reading Mighty Morphin Bitter Rangers
I don't feel like writing today, because snow is outside and I just can't possibly be expected to write anything. The east coast got their turn last week, so it is the west coast's turn to be lazy this week. So here is my post. It is my Bitter News from the Couch, Volume 7. … Continue reading Lazy Day Bitterness
When I was in high school and college, surprisingly, I was a little more athletic than I am now. I know most people are, but for me, it was quite extreme. Yesterday I went to the Rec center so I could accompany my family there, and I spent an hour and a half shooting free … Continue reading Busting A Move Bitterness
Some movies seem to have an impact on the trends of things we buy. Not every movie, but every once in a while movies affect the way people buy certain things or attend certain adventures. I can think of a few examples, and you probably can too if you think hard enough. Like when … Continue reading Movie Trending Bitter Friday Giftures
When the first Batman movie came out with Micheal Keaton as Batman and Jack Nicholson as the Joker, it was a big deal. Back then it was very rare to get any comic book movie at all, and this was the first legit Batman movie. Sure there was a movie in which Batman fought a … Continue reading Bitter Not So Best Seller
There are a lot of debates out there. I don't normally get into them unless I have huge amounts of ammo for one side, or I care way too passionately about them. For instance, I will talk to you all day long about how the United States of America needs way more federal holidays. Let's … Continue reading Bitter Parking Spaces
Believe it or not, my wife is supportive of my blogging efforts, as long as it doesn't interfere with real work and family duties, which it has from time to time. In the beginning, I didn't even tell her I had a blog because I wasn't sure she would like me writing about bitter … Continue reading Store Discount
As the old man in the cave in Legend of Zelda said to Link, "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this." He was just being nice and handing Link a sword so he could survive all the weird acting animals in the world, but I think his advice is pretty strong today. It is … Continue reading Danger Friday Giftures
Several years ago, I was up late playing my favorite video game, and my wife was trying to sleep. She woke suddenly and complained about really painful heartburn. Usually, she takes a Tums and feels better afterward. But for some reason, that wasn't working, and she was complaining about intense pain that wasn't going … Continue reading Unnecessary Jobs
I like movies because they are the dressier cousin of TV. While the newest and best movies require you to be some sort of dressed and pay money and get popcorn and sit in a seat that isn't a couch, they don't require you to think too much. Some require you to think if … Continue reading Bencademy Awards
A lot of people are really good at things in their everyday lives that seem pretty inconsequential. Some people are great at doing laundry. They know the right temperature, the best fabric softener and the setting that every piece of clothing should be set at. Other people are amazing at cooking. They have a … Continue reading Tidying Up with Bitter Ben
When I grew up, we had these things called phones that were just a menace. They had long cords, big circular dials and were only used for actually calling people to talk, which quite frankly is the least good thing about phones. If you wanted to talk to someone that lived far away, … Continue reading The Best Handheld Device
According to my daughter, random doesn't equal funny. Although according to her, she also thinks puns aren't funny. Actually, I think she also just thinks I'm not funny. Yeah, that is it. That wasn't always true though. She used to laugh when I played Peek-A-Boo. I guess the older you get, the less you think … Continue reading Random Doesn’t Equal Funny
I used to think that you had no choice in a lot of matters. Once you sign up for something, you were part of that thing for life. A year and a half ago, we signed up for Netflix and every month since, whether we watched something or not, they charged us $11 a month. … Continue reading Bitter Cancellation
