I'm one of the few billion people in the history of the world to have lived in 49 different years, 6 different decades, 2 different centuries, and 2 different millenia. If you were really bad at math and not particularly good at details you would think I was a thousand years old. And if you … Continue reading 49 Things that Make Me Bitter
Maintaining the World
I had a really great babysitter when I was young. I have nothing but glowing reviews, literally. I loved my babysitter so much that I will recommend that my kids and grandkids even use my babysitter. If you've ever seen Cable Guy with Jim Carrey or numerous other shows or movies when you were young, … Continue reading Maintaining the World
Court Jester
I spent a lot of time yesterday getting injured. Despite getting a shot to help my shoulder, it continues to hurt. I was playing catcher for my son so he could get faster at pitching, and he hit me in the only place I wasn't protected (my foot, you weirdos) and then in the middle … Continue reading Court Jester
Blog Ideas
Note to self: Just a draft. Do not publish. Blog post ideas: March 26 Oscars are so boring. Do I even write about them anymore. What could I talk about that would make them more interesting. I guess I could make some absurd predictions about what will happens. Will...that reminds of wIll smith...something so absured … Continue reading Blog Ideas
Bitter Ghost Writer
I have now written over 1,350 blog post over a 10-year period. Some were bad, most were awful, and the rest were pure garbage. I'm like the Sysphus of blog writing. No matter how bad the posts get, and how negative the feedback gets, I just keep coming back for more. Any sane person would … Continue reading Bitter Ghost Writer
Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
I used to care about famous people. I looked up to them because they could memorize lines or dribble basketballs really well. Then I grew up and realized that most of them were just really suck. Most of them either got lucky, focused maniacally on one thing in detriment to anything else in their lives, … Continue reading Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
Punch Accepted
By the time I reached college, I had not earned enough achievements. If Xbox achievements existed back in my day, I would have registered a big fat zero. In other words, I had caused so few waves in high school, I didn't have one school fight under my belt. No one had swung at me, … Continue reading Punch Accepted
Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures
I love listening to my headphones at work because it seems dangerously close to not doing work, which is my favorite thing to do. Work avoidance, both at work and at home are really great skills to have. I've always tried my best to be mediocre or less in everything I do. Yesterday, I accidentally … Continue reading Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitterness Coaching
When I was 7 years old, I was a 3-sport athlete. I was a world class goalie (I was really good at standing and watching other kids fight for the ball) a two-time no-star center in basketball (I was awesome at standing on the low block with my hand up waiting for the ball) and … Continue reading Bitterness Coaching
Camera BFG’s (Bitter Friday Giftures)
What do you think is more prestigious? Being on the cover of a magazine or being featured on a sweatshirt? This might have been a hard question back in the 80's when I grew up, because back then we had a thing called magazines. It's hard to imagine my kids even understanding the importance of … Continue reading Camera BFG’s (Bitter Friday Giftures)
Batman is DC’s Spiderman Bitterness
A lot of people wonder in awe at how great I am at writing, especially considering that I've never been a big reader. I suppose I could be an adequate reader if Audible just narrated all the books to me. On the other hand, I could just have TV do all the work by narrating … Continue reading Batman is DC’s Spiderman Bitterness
Half a Score and 0 teen years ago…
Half a score and 0 teen years ago, I brought forth on this platform, a new bitter blog, conceived in bitterness, and dedicated to the proposition that all people are equally bitter. Now we are engaged in this great uncivil bitterness, testing whether this nation of blog readers or any other blog readers, so conceived … Continue reading Half a Score and 0 teen years ago…
Blog Burning BFG’s
My patheticness, sorry I mean, my apatheticness toward reading started at a really young age. My mom took special care to not read to me every night, because she had an infinitely more important child that she had to make a success. My sister was always more important to my parents, so of course, they … Continue reading Blog Burning BFG’s
Group Text Bitterness
In this big bitter world of ours, it is increasingly important to be a multitasker. There are too many unimportant things going on to do just one thing. Kids are aces at pulling off multitasking. They can watch Tik Tok, Snapchat their friends, play video games, watch YouTube, not clean their rooms, and forget to … Continue reading Group Text Bitterness
Pharm-assist BFG’s
Believe it or not, I was once a tall, skinny teenager. Yeah. Back in the 80's when I ate peanut butter sandwiches and played sports just for the fun of it. Playing sports was so automatic, I could play tennis when I was watching TV, or hit a baseball with one arm while punching my … Continue reading Pharm-assist BFG’s
Bitter Privacy Concerns
Back in the pre-pandemic days (elementary school), I was quite the Casanova. I made sure my teacher was never late for recess. I would check my Casio watch and tell her that it was time for recess, and we needed to be dismissed from her boring math lecture. She called me the Casio Nova, because … Continue reading Bitter Privacy Concerns
Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Besides the fact that I'm so dynamic, handsome and funny, one of the biggest reasons why wife decided to marry me is because I'm so adventurous. For instance, I will venture off the couch and take out the garbage. Sometimes I'll eat a stuff crusted pepperoni instead of a regular crusted pepperoni pizza. It is … Continue reading Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Invisibility Cloaking
I love roller coasters. They have their ups and downs though. So does this blog. Oh, I'm so sorry for using a dad joke, since you know, I'm a dad. Besides, you should be used to them around here. If you don't like them, you're free to read another really crappy blog that talks about … Continue reading Invisibility Cloaking
Original Programming BFG’s
I was born in the 70's, but grew up in the 80's. I'm not sure if you could compare the 80's to any other decade ever. It was bizarre fashion (parachute pants, leg warmers, etc), bright colors, outlandish music and some pretty crazy TV's and movies. For every great program that came out of the … Continue reading Original Programming BFG’s
Making Traitor’s BFG’s
While I lived in South Dakota from 3rd grade until high school, my family went through an existential crisis of living in LA and NY. I don't remember much of New York, but I also went through an existential crisis when I lived there. It was called "enjoying baseball". The baseball brainwashing started when I … Continue reading Making Traitor’s BFG’s
Ben's Bitter Blog 