The Simulation BFG’s

There is a theory out there that we are living in a simulation. The theory is that the real world we think we live in, is actually an artificial, computer-generated reality run by a higher-level civilization. The theory is definitely out there, because there are movies about it. And if there is a movie about it, it must be true. The Matrix movies are the most popular ones that explore the idea of us living in a simulation.

The Matrix wasn’t solely popular because of the introduction of us living in a simulation. If it were just about the simulation, most people would have hated the idea, or been bored by it. The reason why the Matrix was so popular was, let’s be honest, because of “bullet time”, Neo’s fights with Agent Smith, and his love story with Trinity. Men loved the fantasy of learning kung fu and flying, while the ladies loved that Neo would do anything to save Trinity, even sacrificing himself and pulling a bullet out of her. We sat through the boring discussions about life and blah di blah, because of the fights and the love story.

What allowed Mr. Thomas Anderson to become Neo, the amazing, mind-bending Ninja Warrior that could fly, happened when Anderson took the red pill and “freed his mind”. When he saw the real truth, and got released from the big spike in his head, he was rewarded with how sucky reality really was. The machines were in charge, and they were a small society, doing whatever we could to run from the machines. But they were controlling us, and we had very little control in the real world. But once Neo got reprogrammed, he could learn kung fu, and he could fly when he was in the Matrix. But only because he “freed his mind”. In the Matrix (the simulation) he was the Real G, because his mind was so strong, he could take on a thousand Smith’s.

A handful of people in our world believe that we are living in a simulation, like the Matrix. They believe that if we are test subjects for a higher civilization and that a programmer is using us as test subjects, just like Neo, we have the ability to control the simulation for our own needs.

In other words, if we like Neo are hackers and we hack our brains into thinking we can make changes to the programming, we can make things happen in this world, just like Neo could in his world. Some think we can control how our lives go, by asking the simulation for things. Many think by doing daily affirmations, either by writing them down so the simulation can see them, or speaking them out loud, so the simulation can hear them, the simulation will know you know about it, and they will give you the things you ask for to see how you handle them.

Others feel like they’ve seen glitches in the world, (in the Matrix, it was deja vu) things that happen that are almost impossible and attest those things to flawed programming. Others talk about how in the real world, it seems like the programmers are only creating things that we can see, because to create things at subatomic levels that we can’t see, don’t make sense resource-wise. Look at this like a video game programmer. They would never allocate their limited resources to a bunch of things inside a drawer that was never meant to be opened. In many cases, the simulation created a lot of NPC’s in our lives, a bunch of empty suits that we were never meant to know beyond saying, “Hi”, or walking by on the street. See a lot of the video game character creators. Add some different colored hair, a slightly different shaped nose, and that is the difference between me and thousands of other characters, uh humans across the world.

If we are indeed in a simulation and we are just robots with human skin that are programmed to do what the simulation wants us to do, then get reprogrammed just like robots to be something more main characterish. All we have to do is hack our brain, and rewire ourselves into something amazing.

Which sucks. I am not a hacker, or a programmer.

So as exciting as this information could be, it isn’t. I failed my computer programming class. Even if I was able to hack into my brain, it would all be for nothing. I would be standing there with a blank stare on my face, looking at my brain going, “Uh, could you like make me smart or something?” But then my brain would be like, “Nah. I’m good.” My brain is just as lazy as I am, (or is it vice-versa?) and we would both get tired from all the thinking and we would end up laying on the couch, not using even 10% of our processing power.

As of this moment, my brain and body are both telling my fingers that we are tired of all this, and we want this thing to end. We abdicate all our resource allocations to your “higher maintenance” subjects. Subjects that scream and complain all the time, activists, or those 100 mile super marathoners. Before I do so, I just have a few requests, before you move on to your resource hogs.

If it isn’t too much to request, I would like a nice luxury car that doesn’t break down every 3 years. A suitable house that doesn’t require much maintenance, and about 10 grand in the bank that lasts the rest of my simulation time. After that, you can allocate the rest of your resources to the ones that don’t deserve it, but demand it anyways. I’ll be using as little of your programming power by laying on the couch and sleeping as much as I can. You’re welcome.

Oh, and a little processing power for my blog and all of the Gifturer that need to stay up every week for this blog. For the people that are about to read this anyways…

There is a theory out there…