I remember a unit of science in 7th grade dedicated to learning about kinetic energy. I couldn't imagine what kinetic energy was then, because it was only a concept and I'm a visual learner. I know what it is now, because for the last several years, I've been one of the adult leaders of a … Continue reading Out of Focus BFG’s
First World Problems
Living Rent-Free Bitterness
I've had a dream since I was a young bitterling. Not the type of dream most of you have, like traveling, becoming famous or writing a novel. Actually, I do have the novel dream, and the getting rich part of the rich and famous, but one dream has always stood above all. The reason I … Continue reading Living Rent-Free Bitterness
Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures
One time when I was in college, I was so distraught by a girl breaking up with me, that I slept in until 4 pm. It was the oddest sensation I'd ever felt. When I woke up, I went to the campus bookstore, and it was already closed for the day. People had already woken … Continue reading Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures
Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had made the most awkward transition of my life from elementary school to junior high. It was the first day of 7th Grade English, and my teacher asked us all to do my least favorite thing ever. The thing an anxiety ridden, shy, introverted, new-to-junior-high kid … Continue reading Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
Categorical Failure Bitterness
Back in high school, I was assigned to do a group presentation about something boring to our class. It was a bunch of really boring facts, where most of the groups just stood up, and presented the facts the same old way. I didn't like boring, so I asked everyone in the group if we … Continue reading Categorical Failure Bitterness
Side Quests BFG’s
Unlike most college students, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I've always been bitter, and my life is all about taking over the world so I can spread bitterness throughout the world. I only went to college to figure out the best way to do that. Of course, college failed … Continue reading Side Quests BFG’s
Talent Show Bitterness
When I was younger and family reunions were still a thing, we used to go to exotic locations like California, Arizona, or Utah to visit old people. Every time, I would get comments like, "My, how you've grown," or "Why does he always have a scowl on his face?" Then really ancient relatives wouldn't show … Continue reading Talent Show Bitterness
Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
My wife likes to make fun of me because I'm a routine-oriented guy. I go to sleep at the same time, I wake up at the same time. I eat eggs and peanut butter sandwiches all the time. I always blog on Wednesday's and Friday's. I have a lot of the same daily routines at … Continue reading Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
Bitter Writer’s Strike
When I was a freshman in college, my first class, in my first semester at 7 am, was an English class. I remember it well for two reasons. The first, was that the teacher reminded me of a combination of George McFly from Back to The Future and Bern Gorman (the guy that would have … Continue reading Bitter Writer’s Strike
The Most Important Chip
My wife and daughter have been out of town since last Friday, so it's just me and my son for the week. My delusional personality figured it would fun and games for the whole week. The boy and I would play games on the weekend, then go to school and work and live the high … Continue reading The Most Important Chip
Cosplay Bitterness
We all have a Mecca of sorts. A place in the world that we dream of going someday, because it has some sort of significance to us. Some people would love to visit the North Pole and have a visit with Santa Claus, because they love being cold. Others would love to visit the homeland … Continue reading Cosplay Bitterness
Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
The weather people in Utah spent all last summer moaning and complaining about the apocalyptical drought we were going through. They warned us to stop watering our lawns and demanded that we stop drinking unless we were on drop from dying of dehydration. We were assured if we brushed our teeth and let the water … Continue reading Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
The Bitter Corruption Industry
Ten years ago, I was living in Seattle at the peak of my misery. If you've lived in Seattle, you know there is only two seasons. One lasts 11 and a half months and it's cloudy, cold, rainy, wet and windy. The other two weeks, the sun vacationed in Seattle, but it was only for … Continue reading The Bitter Corruption Industry
Electric Blue Bitterness
I've spent most of my life trying to spread bitterness like most people spread frozen butterness on their toast. Just like the spreaders of butter on toast, it's hard work and it rarely works out how I want it to. After spreading bitterness for almost 50 years, I finally decided to make the world better … Continue reading Electric Blue Bitterness
Forward Thinking BFG’s
I've been running this Bitter Blog Empire for 11 years now, thus making me an expert in running blog empires, according to Malcom Gladwell. To prove it, I've written 1446 posts, each which average over 500 words per post. That is 723,000 words that I've created mostly from brain. A few monkeys pounded some words … Continue reading Forward Thinking BFG’s
Phantom Zone Bitterness
I don't know if you've noticed, but when it comes to the DC Universe, there are two Co-Alpha Dogs. The two of them are so strikingly different, that they would be on par with how different my two kids are. You know the two I'm talking about. Superman and Batman. Before all the epic DC … Continue reading Phantom Zone Bitterness
Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Back in 1996, the NBA released their list of the Top 50 players of all time and as soon as they did, they created a debate among fans. It got them what they wanted, which was a lot of attention to the game. At the time, most people agreed that Michael Jordan was the GOAT, … Continue reading Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
A long time ago, in a land not so far away, 3 other guys and I did a not-planned-very-well-at-all day trip to a canyon, in which they decided to be dumb and drive down into ravine in early May. In the location of which I speak, it was a steep climb back up and snow … Continue reading Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
Potemkin Village Bitterness
When I graduated from college in 1998, I started working as a junior copywriter for a Fortune 500 company. At least that was what was supposed to happen, according to the movies. Unfortunately, I didn't go to Harvard, MIT, or even the lowly Yale. If you aren't related to a Rockefeller, a Gates or a … Continue reading Potemkin Village Bitterness
Enter the Matrix BFG’s
The other day I decided to do something really different at work. After listening to another podcast about why I am dying at slow death every day from sitting too much, I stood up, and walked away from my desk. It wasn't for very long, of course, but enough to actually make a journey to … Continue reading Enter the Matrix BFG’s