As a person that loves stories, but is a visual learner, TV has always been the perfect way for me to watch stories unfold. A lot of people love reading because they get to interpret the story, people, places and things in their mind however they want to. The problem is that imagination takes a lot of work. I could imagine things, and do some reading, but that requires a lot of mental energy that work and people drained from me all day. Why use your imagination reading a book when you could have a bunch of actors, directors, and cinematographers do all the work for you? TV is the ultimate lazy persons paradise and I’ve always been a huge fan.

I like movies too, but for those you have to go to a theater, sit with other people you don’t know, and buy really expensive popcorn you could microwave better at home. You also have to deal with screaming children, and annoying people laughing at the wrong times. Then you have to start and end a story in three hours or less, get a teaser of an end credit for the next sequel, and then wait 2 years to see the disappointing sequel to the disappointing movie you just saw.

To me, TV is the best way to tell a longer story than a movie, but a faster way than reading a book. Because of that, it’s also the best way for to describe life. For instance, I love The Office. There were some stand out episodes that defined the show, like when Pam and Jim first kissed, or when Michael declared bankruptcy, or when Toby leaving gave Michael pure joy…or drove him crazy when he came back. There were also general themes that weaved through each season, and there some stand out moments from each season that were unforgettable, or certain phrases they said that I still quote randomly whenever someone triggers me to say them, or even if they don’t. Like “I declare bankruptcyyyyyyy!” “I understand nothing” or “We will burn Utica to the ground”.

Just like TV shows, my life and the people around me have story arcs, plots, quirky characters, plots twists, and lots of questions? So many questions. Not everything is the utmost drama. There are a lot of filler episodes, of course. Not every episode moves the narrative. But we’ll always have some drama, comedy, and most of all bitterness.

In Bitter Ben TV show, a big theme is being an ATM for everyone from kids, to my parents, to random side characters that pop in and out of episodes, to the government who a bigger waster of our funds than my son.

Here are some of the plot lines from the 2023 seasons and questions that lead to the 2024 season.

My son’s character arc that started in the 2007 season and continues to this day, is my wife and I asking him to pick up his clothes instead of leaving them on floor as a breadcrumb to his dwelling. We’ve been trying to follow the breadcrumbs for a while so we can discover where his room disappeared to. Was it lost to the Bermuda Triangle? The lost city of Atlantis? We may find out this year, but don’t count on it.

Another big story for the 2023 Season was him getting a driver’s license. Would he use the license for good or evil? Will he now immediately understand the weight of responsible driving, maintaining and paying for insurance and gas? Or will he use the square piece of plastic as a free pass to transform into the next Vin Diesel and use the NOS whenever he gets a chance? Will he use it as a gateway to become the next Bill Gates, Steve Jobs or Elon Musk by getting a job, or will use as a gateway into late night food runs, transportation to skiing and attending parties? Or will it be in the middle of these two extremes? Tune in to the 2024 season to find out.

If that wasn’t enough drama for the 2023 season, there’s the college-aged daughter. As you remember from Saved By the Bell: The College Years, Felicity and Gilmore Girls, this is an awkward time in the family sitcom/drama. Sometimes she’s home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sometimes she’s at school in the fall and Spring. Sometimes she’s home for the summer. Should we treat her like an adult and let her make her own decisions, or like the adolescent that we still imagine her as? There are some big things coming in the next 5-20 seasons. Will this Christmas be the last time we see her in a while? Will she meet the man of her dreams? Will she go on a mission for her church? Will she study abroad? Live in our basement? Become an influencer and move us into her basement? As the owl in the lollipop commercial says, “The world may never know”, but if you tune in to 2024, you’ll have a better idea by the end of the year.

Speaking of how the world may never know, the upper management’s (my parents) character arc involves trying to find some kitties. Some kitties that my mom thinks we have, despite us never owning any animals since the family sitcom started. Is the quirky grandmother character losing her mind in her old age? Maybe, but man does she say some of the funniest things! The laugh track sure can’t get enough of her!

Will the grandpa character, who still owns most of his mind, be able to switch from the being taken care of his whole life be able to switch to the caretaker role? Will he be able to figure out how to take care of his ailing wife who raised his five kids, or will he give up and make his kids do it all? Will he be able to figure out how to do some epic new things like how to put in earrings, or find things in the storage unit, or will he have to call in the big guns to help him with these monumental tasks? Tune in to see how the drama unfolds!

I understand that reading this is a pain to people like me because we have to imagine all of it, instead of just sitting on our couches and watching it. Which is why this will be made into a TV show soon. Look for it 2053, after I complete the script and turn it over to someone that makes good TV out of quirky and bitter drama. In the meantime, look at these mini TV shows called Bitter Friday Giftures…

Some people…

Which is why…

Which is I prefer TV…

And why I prefer TV…

TV brought us moments like…

Or when he let’s us know…

Or how we have to…

In my life it helps us find…

It answers questions like…

Or just hit the NOS…

Will my daughter be back from college…

Or will she become an influencer…

ARRRGGGHHHHH

Bitter 2023 Season Was a Disaster Ben