I’m one of those people like Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison that doesn’t like sleep that much. The difference being that I’ve found a way to make those waking hours much less efficient by inventing nothing. I’ve always been a night owl because I get FOMVG, which of course means, Fear of Missing Video Games.

On the other hand, I’m also the rare double of being an early morning guy as well. I like to claim that it’be because I like to go to the gym early and get it out of the way, but we all know that isn’t the real reason why I like waking up early. It’s really because I like to spend the most part of my day not being disturbed by people and you have no idea how great it is to spend several hours in the morning not having to talk to people. When other people start going around 8 or 9 o’clock is when my day starts sucking. Because they they want to interact with me, and that is when people start draining all my energy, like when someone syphons gas out of my car.

At this very moment, I’ve been at work since 6:15 am, and I’ve written part of my novel, caught up on some games on my phone, seen the trends on Tik Tok, checked the latest goings on at the Olympics and now I’m on my first draft of my bitter blog post. I’ll probably finish this by 8:00 and have it ready to go to press and in your mailbox before some of you even wake up. The reason why I’m so efficient in the morning? Because I haven’t said a word to anyone yet, nor has anyone been near me. How’s that for efficiency?

Since people will start zapping me of energy at 8:30 am, (when the general population starts filing into work) I will spend the rest of the day doing my best to avoid talking to people so they don’t zap me of my valuable energon. My headphones will go a long way towards pushing people away, but it won’t do everything, so I will have to do a lot of pretend typing, make a lot of concerned looks at my computer when people walk by, and get up to go to the bathroom in order to disuade people from taking my valuable time away. My most effective and efficient move is the faraway stare.

To many people, it looks like I’m in a pensive state, or I’m in strong concentration mode, but I like to call it “The Trance”.

It’s the thing that happens to most people after lunch, but a few hours before going home time. Some would place it around the 3:00 to 3:30 pm time period. It’s where you’ve done the same thing for a few hours, and you are getting way too tired to do it for the day. But you can’t quite coast to the end of the day yet, because there are still a few hours left.

So you kind of stare at your screen, and your concentration starts to fade a little. Your eyes aren’t closed, and you’re not asleep. But you know for a fact that you aren’t getting anything creative, productive or important done. You have to make sure that both of your screens are on something work related. For instance, I work with dozens of reports that are on spreadsheets, so at least one screen can be filled with an Excel or Google spreadsheet. I also work with Google and Bing ads, our website, and some review sites as well. At just the right time of day, I can fill my two screens with one of those two things, and then go into my trance mode, while I have one hand over my keyboard and the other over the mouse. Most days you are lucky to get between 1 – 15 minutes with “The Trance”.

Your trance can be interrupted for any number of reasons, like annoying bosses walking by, to co-workers asking you stupid things like “Can you like do stuff today?” to an annoying pop up email telling you to report to HR immediately with the subject line that says, “You’re Fired”. But every once in a while, on a magical Friday where a bunch of different elements mix together to create the perfect recipe called the “quiet Friday afternoon”, you can stretch “The Trance” for an entire afternoon. They are like a blue harvest moon sighting, but when it happens, it feels like a roller coaster ride but the opposite of that. It’s this magical place where you aren’t sleeping and your eyes aren’t closed, but you also aren’t awake.

As a worry wart, you might already be thinking ahead at how much work you’re going to have to do on Monday, but you must set aside that worry for the rare treat that is Trance Friday. Just like you would’ve taken a random vacation to Little Rock, Arkansas to see the total eclipse this year, is how much I look forward to a Trance Friday.

In fact, I wish there was some sort of scientific calendar similar to the eclipse calendar that could predict when the Trance is available, so we could plan for it. So we could get our Trance glasses out and use them to cover our eyes. Alas, Trances aren’t as predictable or scientific as an eclipse or a comet that will pass over the earth every 76 years.

When they happen, they are as spiritual an experience as an eclipse. People don’t celebrate them by clapping and cheering the moon covering the sun, like when someone wins an Olympic gold medal, but they should. Getting the rare whole afternoon Trance experience is a life changing, mind-altering experience that should not be missed.

For sleep malcontents like me, the “Trance” is vastly superior to sleep. When you go to sleep, your body is resting, but your brain is working overtime to create a whole new fantasy/sci-fi metaverse, which for me is very exhausting. Trances on the other hand, are allowing both your body and brain to turn off, while your eyes are open, but just staring into space, giving both your body and your brain a vacation. In fact, I prefer the Trance Afternoon over any vacation I’ve ever been on. That is such a rare and magical thing, that I find it much more significant than a boring moon covering a sun scenario.

While you are pondering the meaning of existence, trances and eclipses, I will be over here, finding some Bitter Friday Giftures to make this trance feel much more meaningful for you…

Eight hours of sleep…

I get FOMVG…

But I’m also a big fan of…

It’s the middle of the day…

As soon as somebody talks to me for the first time…

I try to keep people away as long as possible…

And being as unapproachable…

But while I try to maintain that energy in the afternoon…

That magical space between awake…

When you are asleep…

Which is really kind of…

I prefer staying in the real world…

ARRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Trance Ben