Forefield Bitter Friday Giftures

Sometimes it seems like most of our problems come from the fact that we are fragile. Do you ever stop and think how easy it is for us to get injured or die? I mean, like so easy. All it takes is a half-way decent-sized rock land on us, or we fall more than like 3 or 4 stories from a building, get in a little crash in an accident and we are fish food. It baffles the mind billions of us survive for more than 70 years. You know?

That’s why I think we should all get forcefields. It’s not like they are that hard to make right? They are just made up of some invisible, lightweight, hard plastic that is invulnerable from most attacks. Also, it wouldn’t be hard to make it last for 70-100 years too.

Wouldn’t it be fun just be able to look down all the time when you are texting, get hit by a car, and not have to worry about those pesky injuries that get in our way? Or to be able to go to one of those ax-throwing stores and not have to worry about your friends accidentally throwing one when you are retrieving yours? A lot of those stupid safety rules wouldn’t have to be written nor read anymore. Sorry about your job security, policeman, firemen and the crossing guards at schools.

So when is Forcefield Corp. coming out with these things? I hope soon. While we are waiting for them, let’s just watch some Bitter Friday Giftures about…the forcefield.

If this…uh…guy gets one…

…why can’t the rest of us?

If Mr. Mime has the ability to make one…

…then ForceField Inc. should be able to make us all one.

I guess a forcefield to keep emotions out…

…would be fine.

A forcefield would have been…

…really handy in this situation.

Things like this would be…

…a little easier.

This Price is Right game…

…wouldn’t be scary anymore.

Doing stuff like this…

…would be way more common.

Gym class would…

…be able to be moved to a different location.

Having a Pinata party…

…would finally be more interesting for something besides the candy.

We could finally duck out…

…out on interviews gracefully.

We wouldn’t have to wear masks…

...every time anyone got sick.

Woody wouldn’t have to worry about…

…all that damage of hitting that last cone.

Wouldn’t life be so much better with forcefields? Why do all the video game and movie heroes be the only ones to have all the fun. I’m looking at your Forcefield Inc. If you aren’t working on a forcefield for all of us, then what are you are in business for?

Get to work, or we will stop buying stock in your company.

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Forcefield Ben