I have the right to believe that Superman was the one protecting us from all the firework accidents yesterday.
I broke from tradition on the 4th of July and moved outside of my house to do something. We spent some time with some weird people (I think my wife called them family) and did activities. Activities are those things that require you talk to people and move around and work your muscles a bit. We did this thing called canoeing, where you place this long canoe-like thing in the water and you take these things called paddles and move them in some random way to get you into the middle of a lake and then back where you started. Seemed a little pointless to me, because eventually at the end of the day I ended up in my bed sleeping like I should have the entire day in the first place.
It got me thinking though about the reason why we celebrate the 4th of July. History tells us that it was because this group of pilgrims had an epic birthday party in 1776 and someone accidently shot off some fireworks. Then, the President of the United States (played by Bill Pullman), decided to get on the top of a car and declare to some people this to be “our Independence Day”, by fighting back against an alien attack. In the end though it was about my rights as an American citizen.
President Bill Pullman declaring Independence Day.
-I have the right to be bitter. Thank goodness for that because if not for that, I would just be a regular happy-go-lucky, happy-to-be-here person like the rest of Murica. Someone has t0 balance out all the joy that happens here.
-I have the right to have this ultra annoying, terribly written, grammatically incorrect, horribly badly spelled blog that contains all kinds of ridiculous writing on pointless and meaningless things.
-I have the right to lay on my couch and do nothing in the privacy of my own property. I have the right to own property, by paying some really badly run government office, that raises my taxes arbitrarily because they sense that someone is raising them somewhere else.
My right to be passive aggressive with people who don’t show up to work today.
-I have the right to be passive aggressive with whoever I want by giving bitter stares at whoever is in the range of my stares. I also have the right to talk indirectly about things that make me bitter about a person right in front of them with someone else.
-I have the right to complain about people missing, say… a day after a holiday, that I have to work, and do their work for them.
-I have the right to complain about terrible food that I didn’t cook or pay for just because it is too dry.
-I have the right to forget that really clever thing that I was going to say.
My right to take bad pictures of fireworks after they have gone off.
-I have the right to take really bad blurry pictures, post them on Twitter, start a series called Bitter Blurry Pictures and makes lots of money for them.
-I have the right to let my gas tank get down to fumes before getting way overcharged for gas.
My drive home last night.
-I have the right to feel like Batman driving the Batmobile through the streets of Gotham as fireworks are shooting at me on the way home.
Most of all, I have the right to end this post at any time because I feel like it and you can’t make me write anymore.
Arrrghhhh
Bitter Freedom Ben
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- Random Acts of Bitterness (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
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Ben's Bitter Blog 
This is hilarious. Great stuff man.
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I’m just exposing inspirational quotes for what they really are. Reasons to make me bitter.
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Love the firework pic!!
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I tried to get them to be more realistic of what really happens. I am a true artisticly bad photographer.
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I think you underestimate yourself. I’ve read many blogs with far worse grammar than yours.
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Well, it may not be the worst grammar, but it is the most bitter. By far.
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OMG LOL I have the right to die laughing with tears streaking down my face while reading bitter Ben’s 4th. Thank you Ben for finding me so that I could find you. So damn funny!
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Whatever you do, don’t die. I can’t lose another follower to death.
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I think we have several common blog friends as I have seen your name at times. I also see you have visited my blog…and would like to say thank you *s*
Tis some interesting thoughts you have one … rights lol. I will have to remember some of them. (I especially loved the right to take poor photos lol.)
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As a lifelong terrible photo taker, I felt the need to embrace to stop caring how my photos came out.
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I am so for bitter stares, and indirect bitter comments. God, I laughed a bit too loud at the fireworks-after-they’ve-gone-off photo. SMIRK!
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I have really bitter timing. I have more bitter pictures over on FB and Twitter that show really bad timing as well.
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Hey BB, I am so glad to see you standing up for your “Bitter Rights” or “The Right to be Bitter” or “A Bitter Man’s Right to Spread Bitterness” or whichever comes first. Needless to say, I am proud. I also want to thank you for your non-recommendation to see “Click” with Adam Sandler. You will be bitter about my review, but I actually liked it. I thought it was funny, and I loved his kids, and his bitter relationship with the little boy who lived next door. I did not like now serious the movie got only because I pick up comedies to laugh, not to think. (How ignorant of me to say that). Anyway, thanks for the non-suggestion to watch the movie. I know you are bitter that I liked it.
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It is your bitter right to not like it and you went against that so you now have to go on bitter trial and will be sent to bitter jail. At least you will be able to watch Click over and over again in bitter prison.
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Boy, my goose is cooked BB. Hopefully I can use the remote to fast forward my bitter jail bid. I have to remember not to drop the soap. Well, I can say that being forced to watch “Click” over and over again will definitely make me bitter about the movie, so my jail time will rehabilitate me. I have to look at the bright side.
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Bitter jail is worse than regular jail I am afraid. Good luck in there.
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Thanks, just don’t ignore my collect calls.
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I wouldn’t imagine thinking about ignoring the call.
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I thank you in advance for your support while I am on lockdown. (I will forget that you put me there.) I am still sweet now because I haven’t gone to prison yet. Once I get out, I will be bitter and will remember your betrayal forever.
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Sounds like the betrayal I have done to everyone.
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I would have spent the fourth feeling bitter that my husband was working a double shift, but it was too humid. Bitter is not a soggy emotion. Depression is, but it lacks the cachet. Today I am bitter because my blog never gets as many comments as yours.
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Sounds like you have a ton to be bitter about and that makes me bitterly excited. I don’t like working double shifts. In fact, the only double shifts I do are on naps. As far as comments, I think people just feel bad for me because I am so bitter.
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Stop with the bitter stare. You are making me laugh bitterly.
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Bitter stares are my specialty. I can’t stop with them.
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Its kinda creepy…..I like it.
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They are meant to make people uncomfortable. Success!
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I sat at home on the 4th. When the fireworks went of, some JERK yelled :”Whooo Hooo” like he was a five year old child. He did this about 50 times, till I nearly barfed. Yes…I was bitter. I had to drink four glasses of sour lemonade to stay sweet.
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People get a little too excited about fireworks. I’m sorry but something that costs that much and ends that quickly should be my blog.
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I like how you say “Murica” like you are Gallagher, wearing a beret and a Pippi Longstocking ensemble. Perhaps you could smash some watermelon with a sledgehammer in celebration of our independence from that country that we later saved in WWII.
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I was saying Murica more like Larry the Cable Guy. Gallagher is too non bitter for me.
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Ew, you DID have sleeves, though, right? Please say you have sleeves.
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I had sleeves but I was taking a heartburn medicine that melted them.
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LOL!
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I wish I had the right to ask any one of the four cars parked outside my house right now that aren’t people visiting me to park elsewhere before I call the police.
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That is one of your bitter rights that have been ignored by Congress for 2 long. Perhaps if we got UH UH JayZ to write a tribute song…
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I am bitter that you bitter blurry pictures are making money…or I am bitter about the lies you’re telling…which is it?!!!
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I wish they were making money. Do you want to commission them for you television show?
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Yes! I will put them all in frames and do a whole series! That has probably been the missing piece in the puzzle that is my fame–start celebrating with some hoppy,bitter beer, ’cause we are going to be famous!!!!
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Besides you have access to Oprah, so I will go on the show on be bitter about her the whole show and she will think I am kidding and we will get famous from our exposure on her show. That will me something more to be bitter about.
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I do have access to Oprah…we’re pretty tight…can’t wait to be on her show with you–don’t embarrass me.
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You better believe I will embarrass you and Oprah.
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I like the phrase about the right to have an, “…ultra annoying, terribly written, grammatically incorrect, horribly badly spelled blog.” Great blog entry.
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It is a great way to annoy people who like things written in a correct fashion.
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That’s why I’m so annoying to my sister.
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That is why I am so annoying to so many bloggers.
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Keep up the good work!
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It’s what I do. Have I annoyed you yet?
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No. It means you’re either not doing your job, or I’m more annoying that you. 🙂
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You must just be covering your ears to well.
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happy Bitter independence day
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What I want to know is why they call it independence day. I was not independent at all. I was around people all day. That sounds like co-dependent day.
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I have the right to tell you this post made me laugh. Not a lot but some.
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That is one of your bitter rights. Next time a little less laughter, a little more bitter.
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Happy 4th! Be truly bitter!
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And a bitter 6th to you because you are always in the future.
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Totally! i can tell you about the future, So if zombies come to Singapore first i can tell you to run first.. sorry, we just watched world war z so mind going into hyper drive. 🙂
have a bitter weekend!
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Thanks for telling me like the zombie attack. I can’t wait to join the zombie side. They will need someone really bitter.
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Boo superman 😉
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Is it because he didn’t rescue you from firework accidents? I would be bitter at him too if he didn’t.
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Lol, or because he’s superman. I never got into superman. He’s kind of like captain America or hawkeye to me. Meaning, not awesome. 🙂
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Who is it that you like then. Batman…Spiderman…Bitterman?
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Lol, deadpool, Thor, sometimes Spider-Man, ion man, war machine. There’s more, it’s a nice list. Batman is towards the bottom too. Mostly the movies make me laugh, because of how batman talks. 🙂
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Oh so you actually read the comics that all these movies these are based on. That’s like liking the Lord of the Rings books better than the movies.
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I like the avengers movies, I like batman beyond ? Lol
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There is an Avengers movie? What is it about? About people getting revenge? I am in. Revenge is my favorite.
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I hear ya on that. I can be pretty jaded.
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They used to call me Revengerman, I was so good at it.
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Lol
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I like your Bitter Bill of Rights! And I must agree that driving home last night did feel like driving the Batmobile. However, by placing safety 3rd, we used our roman candles to safety fend off the bottle rocket attacks from my neighbors as I drove around their fireworks display (in the middle of the street) and through their manicured lawns. Yes! Definitely a win for America!
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I actually chose the best time to drive home. We were in Port Orchard most of the day and we drove home just at the fireworks were going off in Seattle and so we would see big ones in random areas and there was no traffic. Which occasionally makes me bitter.
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I thought you’d like to know the first picture in your post triggers a virus alert on Avast antivirus when the page loads. Now I’m bitter because I can’t see the pic.
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I’m bitter too because it is a cool pic of Superman. I am going to start a virus soon but it will only be of things that annoy me.
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Way to celebrate your rights. Have you spoken to your congressperson yet about making sure these rights are encoded in law? You must love congress, right? So many bitter people taking actions that make others even more bitter all the time.
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I would bring these to my congresspeople, but I’m just so lazy to even imagine fighting bitterly with them. I think I’ll just post a Youtube video and send it to them. Can they make laws from that?
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I’m pretty sure anything said on Youtube automatically becomes law. If not, why have I been Prancersizing instead of jogging?
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I need to do a video where I crusade for Bitter Rights by making fun of lawyers and lawmakers.
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i bet you’re just bitter cause we celebrated Canada Day before your Fourth of July.
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Your Canada day totally beat down our Fourth of July. So rude.
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oh, i dunno… barbequed maple leaves can only go so far…
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Did you even get the day off for Canada Day?
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a’course Ben… normal people like you and me got the day off, and gov’t employees got the week off, barring the commitment of any efficiencies, which could get them fired.
The garbage collectors have their own rules and have taken as much time off as they feel is appropriate… word is that we might get our rubbish taken away as early as August, but you never know. I guess we could ask one, but we’re afraid of offending them.
Why yes, i am bitter about that… but am too Canadian to say so.
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I thought Canadians were bitter about a lot of things, just like Americans, but with a slight Canadian Maple syrup accent.
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i’m bitter about the fact that we’ve imported so much of the stuff and there is so much acid rain that the maple trees that make syrup are becoming extinct. Now we speak with a slight ‘Walmart’ lisp.
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A bitter Walmart lisp?
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Absobitterly.
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Unbitterlieveable.
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:lol What a 4th!
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It was definitely the 4th day of July.
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Kick ass stuff as usual haha 🙂
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It is your bitter right to falsely believe that.
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haha 🙂
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I am joining you in the belief that Superman protected us from all those firework accidents yesterday. And the right to feel like Batman in the Batmobile while driving home at night while fireworks are going off.
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The red blue blur was probably pretty busy last night keeping me safe.
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I imagine so. Lucky for all of us he’s nearly fast enough to be in several places at once.
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I saw Man of Steel again on Wednesday night and awesome as ever! I can’t wait until it comes out on Bluray.
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