Food that makes me work makes me bitter. Food is necessary for survival right? I assume if you are human and reading this blog you know that. I know the cavemen needed to hunt for their food because apparently there were no grocery stores in Cave City. (Couldn’t they find it at the Cave Marketplace?) And yeah, I know some people like to hunt and work a little for their food. But what about the normal bitter people like me who don’t want to hunt(or be a caveman)?
Then there is the whole process of cooking food. Either we have to do it ourselves or have someone else do it. Restaurants are nice enough to cook it for a price or a family member is sometimes nice enough to do it for us (hopefully we are nice to the person), but when it comes to eating that food, why do we have food that makes us do even more work? And why does that work provide so little results? I’m looking at you Ribs, Corn on the cob, shrimp, chicken, and foundue.
Let’s get something straight. I like ribs and corn on the cob and chicken and fondue (sorry shrimp, I don’t like you). But why do you make me work so hard to enjoy you? Ribs have huge bones in the middle of a little bit of meat. So bite and scratch and claw for a little bit of meat, then you have to wipe your hands off and you go back to scraping and clawing for a little bit more. Let’s get more efficient ribs, how about you become like your much more appealing cousin called Boneless ribs. Then we might like you more. And that goes for the rest of you. Corn on the cob, meet corn that has already been taken off the cob. Put yourself in a can, or perhaps a bag. Just get off the cob so we can eat you and not have strings getting stuck in our teeth. Chicken, let you friend the Chicken Nugget or Chicken Breast be in the spotlight. They are the more refined version of you. When you are ready, you can be eaten by me. Until then, stay in the kiddie kitchen.
So here’s to you food. We thank you for keeping us alive. We thank you for being tasty. But please let us enjoy you in large portions without have some bitter bone interupting us. Let us get to the good stuff so we can have more of you. And by the way, if we could also get you to stop adding pounds and giving us heart attacks that would be great too. Then I could be bitter about other things.