Many people wonder about the precise moment when they transformed from being a kid to becoming an adult. Some (my son) think it happens like magic, the moment they turn 18. Others think it’s the moment they abandon their parents and move out, thinking the grass of adulthood is greener like money, while realizing it’s more red like debt. Others claim they finally became an adult when they got married or had a child and realized that other annoying things living in their house require time, money, attention, four walls, a roof and a lot of talking.

Most of those things happened to me, and they were partially responsible for for moving me into adulthood, but the adulthood shapeshifting happened in 2011, with a specific action. That was the year I became a man by putting away my childish console, the Nintendo Wii, and became a man and got a my grown up console, the Xbox. For years, I’d played video games for fun, enjoyment, laughs and bright colors. I did childish things, like hit my head into bricks, expecting coins or mushrooms to appear. I collected magical stars and became invincible. I grabbed fire flowers so I could shoot fireballs. I ate mushrooms and grew 3 feet taller. I pushed bombed cracks in the walls and expected magical rooms to appear. I walked around pyramids and expected to find hidden lairs.

Then in 2011, my brother allowed me passageway into adulthood, by way of selling me his Xbox, and allowing me to slide into it’s DM’s. I was like I was Ariel, stuck under the sea of Nintendo, dreaming of a whole new world of complex, interesting, and more adult video games above the surface, on dry land. Ironically, the first game I played was Bioshock, a whole world sunk under the sea. Little Mermaid would have been a completely different movie if she found Rapture. As an adult, I wasn’t finding magical flowers that gave me fireballs. I was doing more grown up things, like injecting myself with Plasmids, so I could gain abilities to shoot fireballs. And electric balls, iceballs, and telekinesis. You know, grown up things. As an adult, I also had to learn how to aim, and shoot a gun, and kill people, not just evaporate them into the netherworld. Those more adult decisions and consequences are what make you an adult.

The transition from Nintendo to Xbox also included learning a new thing called Achievements. As a childish Nintendo Kid, I didn’t care about growth, or accomplishing things. I was just there to play, have fun, then turn it off and go to bed. As an Xbox adult, I had Achievements that needed to be earned. More than just playing, I had to achieve. It wasn’t enough to just play, I had to find new areas, become more skilled, earn my way in the game world. Games weren’t just for fun anymore. If I wanted to be an adult, I had to have more points to level up. And when it comes to leveling up, it almost always comes with grinding.

In Gears of War, my favorite video game, there were dozens of different rewards I could earn. There were medals, ribbons, re-ups, loot boxes, Tour of Duty achievements, as well as Xbox Achievements. Most of the ones I got, required an insane amount of time to earn. Some call this insane, others call it a waste of time, but I call it grinding. After playing games, I realized that grinding is my strength, not only in games, but also in life. Most people think grinding sucks, because It’s boring, repetitive and mind-numbing. But to me, grinding is my strength.

I used to think I wanted my job to be spend being creative. I wanted to come up with something new everyday, but I realized that creativity took a lot of energy and I didn’t want to waste my creative energy at work. They just end up stealing ideas and not paying you any extra for it. I figured out that my value at work is grinding. Being there everyday, doing work that makes the company money, and consistently showing up is more valuable than a one time creative idea that might make a little money and then throw a bunch of creative energy into a pot and have it stolen again.

Work is for grinding. I’m good at grinding, because I can do the same thing over and over again and not get bored. While most people waste a lot of time “talking” and “meeting”, I’m busy doing something that makes us money, and it’s easily provable, because the stats are right there in the platforms I use. I don’t need people to tell me that I need to work harder, because I’m always busy working. I do my menial, efficient tasks, while listening to music, YouTube, or podcasts.

I reserve my creativity, my zest for life, and my energy for my side hustle, family, hobbies, and free time. My work gets Nose to the Grindstone, Mr. Efficient, Mr. Get things Done, Mr. Don’t Distract Me, and stop taking me away from what is making money to have a pointless meeting guy.

That ability to grind has taken this blog from one 6 post day on March 8, 2011, to the 1500+ post behemoth it is today. The grind built this thing slowly, steadily, and methodically from 2 followers to 10,900 followers today. The grind wrote has written my 200 page book twice, edited four more times, and will get me through 100 rejections, before it gets publishes. The grind gets me following the same NBA team since 1990. The grind got one of my favorite players to the playoffs every year for 19 years. It got me through the last 5 years of them being crap, to now having a player who many think will be the best ever. The grind will get me through another 20 some years of working so I will be able to retire, and grind through some books everyday. And it will allow you all to get to the end of this blog post, and finally get to the Bitter Friday Giftures…

Many people wonder about the moment…

Some think it’s the moment…

Others think the moment it happens…

Others think it’s when they get married…

For me, it was the moment…

And got a more grown up…

My brother provided me the way…

By selling me his old Xbox 360…

In the Xbox and in life…

While some achievements…

That’s where my ability to grind…

Some people just want to have fun…

While others want to grow up…

Those first 18 years as a kid were fun…

So when it comes to enduring the rest of the game…

Thankfully, one of my favorite skills on the skill tree…

And I’m leveling it up…

ARRRGGGHHHHH

Bitter Grinding the Gears Ben