Ben's Bitter Blog

Editing 2020 Bitter Friday Giftures

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As writers, or wanna be writers like me, we are all pretty familiar with the editing process in one way or another. I also do a lot of video, so I know how painstaking editing can be to remove all the um, errs, and awkward pauses to make a good looking video.

Instagrammers are also pretty thankful for the editing process so they can completely change their appearance to the point where their own mother wouldn’t recognize them.  So, it seems like we should get to edit our own lives too right?

My question to you all is if you could edit your life, what would you choose to do with your editing power? I think I would edit all the umms, errs and uhhhs, and go back to those encounters with people I needed to impress and we-write jokes I thought of later, or insults that I thought of later, and I would like to pause those interview questions, so I had more time to think of the right answers. Oh, and I would ask people to the prom to get their reactions. If they were like, uh, naaah, or pretty indecisive, I would move and ask everyone til I got a good gauge of who was actually interested. Then possibly, my prom would have been slightly better.

On to the Bitter Friday Giftures, which I have much more editing control over.

You know I would do this…

…if I had my editing power.

It would also be pretty nice…

…to change locations that easily.

With my bad luck though…

…I would probably struggle with the ability to snap my fingers and end up in Russia.

Or accidentally…

…snapping half the universe away.

I definitely would have edited…

…my bad eyesight earlier…

But I would definitely…

…like to get some new knees…

I would do some re-arranging…

…of my spine…

I would re-arrange some shoulder…

…pain.

I would definitely…

…photoshop some of that awkward out of me.

Take away some of those…

…tears.

Add some strength levels…

…to these chicken arms. 

And add some endurance…

…to these weak lungs.

There are probably some other things I would add to the arsenal, and definitely moments I would erase completely, cough 2020, cough. But in the end, it probably wouldn’t matter, because those editing moments would probably just add more problems to my life, because as Thanos said, I AM INEVITABLE.

What would you do if you had editing power over your life?

ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Editing Power Ben

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