I’ve always had trouble with eye contact. I don’t know what it is about eye contact, but I think somehow it is related to how confident you are, or something like that. Other times you just don’t know the appropriate amount of time you are allowed or supposed to look at someone. It seems like there is some sort of thin line between being confident and overstare or what some people might call “creepy” or “stalking”. It just seems like there should be some sort of spoken standard on what is allowed and what isn’t so we know.
The unspoken rules have gone on long enough. I propose a national standard that should tell us how long and if we are overstaring or understaring, we should be given some sort of inner alarm that tells us to look away or look toward someone. MMM…never mind. That seems like more control over me than I like devices to have over me.
I think I will just stick to staring at people’s heads for comedic effect.
Enough of this nonsense, let’s just do some Bitter Friday Giftures shall we?
On a scale of 1-10…
…is this guy staring?
Just try to look away…
…from this enchanting swinging pasta.
Is it…
…a staring contest? Cause it looks like you are winning that one.
I just can’t look away…
…from this tender moment.
This moment…
…seemed a little fishy.
This guy seemed a little…
…too chairy for me.
That’ll teach these guys…
…to not get too close to the action.
And this guy…
…wasn’t pay near enough attention.
This acting was made all the more real…
…by what really happened to Chris Bosh.
How is this person…
…not on the Olympic team…or a Jackie Chan movie?
Perhaps there is a glitch…
…in the Matrix.
I’m just glad that he won’t have to…
…start from scratch now.
Well, that’s all I got for this week. I hope everyone has the bitterest of Independence Day’s (if you are in the states) or whatever holiday you are celebrating where you live. I’m sure it will be just dandy as I’m sure the virus is spreading cheer wherever you are.
ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Eye Contact Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
We used to learn about eye contact as children without any overt teaching–just seeing what was normal for everyone else. Too much eye contact = creepy staring; too little eye contact = suspicious shifty eyes. But now that we spend so much time staring at screens, our sense of normal is so distorted that most of us need remedial classes on eye contact. Also on interacting with dolphins. J.
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And now my eyes are so dry that eye drops are making a killing on all of us just for giving a slightly wetter eyes.
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