The Big One is Coming Friday Bitter Giftures

 

Nope we aren’t talking about a big tsunami or an earthquake, though when I get up off the couch it might feel like it. No, the 45 years is coming on Monday. April is my favorite time of the year, because, of course, it isn’t March. March is the worst. March is like the Monday of the year to me. But more importantly April Fool’s is the best holiday ever invented. There is no better day for making someone looking foolish and they just laugh it off.  Anyways, I’ve got a lot of bitterness coming soon, so stay tuned, especially for Monday for my annual list of things that make me bitter. Also, just wanted to throw this out there. Someone donated money to my cause, even though it was an April Fool’s Joke, so I’ll just be over here doing what I do best. Planning guilt trips. I’ll be your guilt cruise director. Here are your FREE Friday Bitter Giftures.

When you are 45 this is how you do…

…your exercise(the background).

This is how you do…

…your 360’s.

This is how you do…

…concerts.

This is how you do…

…golfing.

This is how you do…

…dance(the guy in yellow).

This is how you…

…steal bases.

This is how you…

…score goals.

This is how you…

…defend basketball plays.

This is how you…

…bully safety cones and caution ribbons.

This is how you…

…handle traffic.

This is how you…

…spend a day on the beach.

And finally, this is how you…

…find surprises in your food.

So I’m off to be bitter about my last days of 44. Let’s hope that all the bitter moments are recorded so someday, I can do a whole post about just the dumb things I do. Until then, have fun traveling on the SS Guilty Express.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Bitter The Big One is Coming Ben

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30 thoughts on “The Big One is Coming Friday Bitter Giftures

  1. 45 years of bitterness to look back on, It’s almost overwhelming to take it all in at once, so it is best to just pace yourself, and revisit your bitterness in drips and drabs, more on special occasions. Like Gil on the Simpsons says: I’m dancing the best I can. Trouble is, once you learn the steps, they change the music!

    Liked by 1 person

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