Alright bitter people. It’s time for me to get a little uncomfortable and do something that I am completely awkward at. Even though I worked in customer service and telemarketing for years. I need to beg a little. But before I do so, let’s get the inside scoop about why I will be begging first.
When I was in 7th grade, our English teacher forced us to take this career assessment test that told us what we were good at. I wasn’t really good at anything, but I decided that I needed to have a career that made me tons of money for a little effort. Since I was lazy, I went in alphabetical order and it came down to accounting and advertising. Since I was terrible at math and had no interest in numbers, I chose advertising. What I didn’t know, was that in order to be good at advertising you had to either be good at art (not so much) or writing (only slightly better). Didn’t matter. I decided to be a copywriter so I could make up terrible slogans.
I continued to focus on copywriting because changing plans is hard work. It was in the back of my mind, but I didn’t try to get the skills they needed. I just assumed I would get a degree and they would hand out jobs at the job store.
Okay, I’m rambling. Allow me to ramble more. I ended as a stupid telemarketer. About 10 years ago, I started to realize that telemarketing/customer service wasn’t for me, because I can’t stand people and I hate talking on the phone. When I was in deep thought one day, I decided that I needed to start writing. Not for anyone, but just me. So I started journaling. That lead to wanting to write a book. I did so for about 3 years and a complete first draft. Just like with every dream I’ve had, I didn’t follow through. No first, second or third draft, because I’m bad at finishing.
6 years ago, I started a blog. A bitter one. You know about it, because you are reading it right now. Anyways, I got this brilliant idea, to write another book. A book that has basically already been written. You know, this one. A Ben’s Bitter Blog Book.
Now comes the begging part. I need money. From you guys. The Bitter Following Gang(BFG). Bittertarians? Or whatever the heck you guys come up with to describe my followers, Swifty style. So, I started a Gofundme. One that will allow me write this book, and pay to get it published.
I know you guys have money. Lots of it. You guys are authors, CEO’s, VP’s, uh, telemarketers, Wendy’s Drive up window engineers, Gap people with ear things in their ears, advertising copywriters, ETC.
I’m not good at math, but I have 10,000 followers on this here blog and if you all donate like 100 dollars, then I will have like a billion dollars? That is what it will take to get me on the road to getting my dream fulfilled. Anyways, I don’t really need that much, but it would be great to get $500. I would really appreciate it if you would get me to that point. I’m sure that I will get $499 and become the most bitter person ever.
If you can’t donate, that’s fine. Just disappoint this cat or whatever below. If not, just leave a comment about what you would like to be called in the comments. You know, the Bitter Squad or whatever you want to be called.
Here is my last beg. Pllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssseeeee! Here is the link. Go Fund Me!
Bitter Beggar Ben