Call it a Comeback Bitter Friday Giftures


You know that expression, “nothing bad ever really goes away”? Probably not, because I just made it up. Anyways, winter is so dumb. Whoever made it up just likes to mess with people. We had a pretty mild winter, like 50 degrees most of it, until the Groundhog poked his stupid face up and decided to do whatever one guaranteed 6 more weeks of this misery. Ever since then, we decided to have a late winter and I assume it will be snowstorm this and snowstorm that until like July or something. They keep threatening us with snow, which is kind of the worst around here, because it all comes with salt that just makes your car ugly and white. I’m pretty sure we need some bitter giftures so we can be even more depressed about a day that should be full of pizza stains and not salt stains. UGhhh

All this time we thought it was wind…


...ends up it is just two Jedi’s playing with our minds.  this is the kind of help…

When I get old…

…this is the kind of help I will request.

Someone just found a way…

…to finally make soccer interesting.

Also, someone finally came up with the new Winter Olympic sport…

…that could finally be interesting.

Someone just found a way for all these singing shows…

…to be interesting.

Someone just found a way…

…for kids to finally be interesting.

I wish I would have invented this machine…

…what a great way to torture kids and adults alike.

Finally, a dunk contest…

…in which I would still get last place.

Just when you thought humans were leading the way in looking stupid…

…dogs found a way into the contest.

Coffee is not only harmful to the lungs and stomach…

…but I guess to your laptop too.

Baton twirling isn’t just a dream for teenagers…

…but also us middleaged men as well.

If only I knew how to do a high kick…

…this might occur every morning.

Well, here is to unexpected comebacks. May the wind be always in our face. May the snow always mess up our commute. May the weather always be in the wrong season. May our weekends always be too short and our weeks always be to filled with Tuesdays. – A bitter man’s fables


Bitter Late Comebacks Ben


18 thoughts on “Call it a Comeback Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Thank you, I feel bitter now. I slept in, got up, drank coffee, wasn’t quite bitter, read your blog, and looked out my window. I’m in the northeast, and I saw torrential rain, temperatures in the low 40’s and 40-50 mph winds. Weather + blog = very bitter.


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