As spring heats up, many people turn their attention to being at work all day, while some “other lucky people” that aren’t them are going on glamorous vacations to tropical paradises around the world. Some people are jealous of the sandy beaches that others get to soak up the rays in. Others are jealous of the people that get to go on a sweat soaked jungle adventure, while still others are bitter of others that get to adventure on cross country road trips, seeing all kinds of landscapes, barren deserts, dry, cool forests or dangerous volcanoes. There is something for everyone to be jealous of this spring and that is what makes this earth so unique. We have this giant world out there to explore and we don’t get to see any part of it except for the stupid view out the window we have to get up from our desk to view. The earth isn’t the only thing that has an ecosystem. We all have one inside us. Like me. My bitterness takes all kinds of ecosystems.
The Desert – I hope what I just spelled is the dry, dusty, place and not the thing you eat after dinner. Being around me is no treat. My personality and sense of humor are drier and dustier than the Sahara Desert. No one can meet me or talk to me for more that 5 minutes and survive the utter boredom within that part of my ecosystem. You will be begging for some water, or will even take sand over having to be around me any longer. Unfortunately, any hope for an oasis is an illusion. Flee before it is too late and you are caught up in the deadly sandstorms.
The Island – While it seems intriguing to make a visit to an island, with the promise of sandy white beaches and gorgeous sunsets, you must always remember that it is an island. You are surrounded by sharks, leaches and really annoying overtalkers. Despite warnings like this sign at the entrance of the island, “You are not welcome here. Go back to your
cubicle to where you came from and never speak of this place to any of your friends,” people continue to brave the waters. There is no entertainment here, it isn’t quiet, there is not shade from the sun, the food is poisonous, and the wildlife is even worse. Death lurks around every corner. There are no homemade lei’s to welcome you here. Do not enter.
The Volcano – This volcano has been inactive for 41 years. It is lazy and lethargic but don’t mistake that for its ability to be a danger to you at any time. It has been building up resentment, anger and rage for a long time now and all it needs to blow its top is another stupid word from you. And you wouldn’t like this volcano when it is angry. But go ahead, try the old bike trip up to the volcano. Nothing bad’s happened here before.
The Raging Rapids – Are you a control freak? Do you always drive because you just can’t trust anyone else to do it bitter than you? Do you always wake up at the same time everyday? Is your sock drawer organized? Then welcome to Raging Rapids where you will never feel in control. We have plenty of No Sense of Security rafts here. Join your Instructor I. M. Unstable as he takes you on a rapids tour on Insecure River that leads to Mistake Lake.
The Frozen Tundra – Bring your gloves and heavy coat here because you will be visiting a lot of places here. Come visit the Cold Shoulder. A place where you can talk to your hearts content and you will be ignored as if you were talking to a rock. If the Cold Shoulder isn’t enough for you, there is always the Icy Heart. It was once called Warm Heart where people once felt excited and comfortable, but when it froze became an impenetrable fortress of unwelcomeness. Be prepared to feel betrayed by your visit there. There is also a hotel the helps you feel really unwelcome with their Cold Reception desk, and no elevator but lots of Icy Stares.
There is a whole big world out there, full of adventure. Look out your window longingly at it, knowing you will never get to see any of it, except on your computer desktop and that one failing memory you have when you were a bratty kid and didn’t appreciate that one vacation your parents took you on. This will help form the Bitter Ecosystem that is becoming you.
Bitter Ecosarcastic Ben