This is the kind of week I dream about. I was off this whole week so I could watch the kids, so my wife could go on a trip. This was my chance to be lazy. The chance for me to lay on the couch, watch TV and do not much. Well, that’s all it turned out to be. Apparently, even though I didn’t have work, the kids still had school. So I ended up not so much sitting around, but driving a lot. There was like 8 trips to the airport, a couple of trips to the grocery store, and way too many trips to the school. And the learning. Why do they teach kids so many things these days? Next time you turn around they are going to want college students to know basic multiplication. All I know was I was like a bus driver, because I took all the kids to school. After all the learning I had to endure, I’m going to let you all in on all the knowledge I gained this week. Get ready to be schooled in Bitter Friday Giftures.
Here’s a little book you can read…
…It’s about a Cat in the Hat and he likes to strike back.
In Chemistry you will learn that…
…water and fire combine to make fire. I mean fire is made up of heat and vinegar, never mind. Explosions.
In engineering…
…we learned that in order to fly you don’t have to leave the ground. Helpful to couchdwellers like myself.
In meteorology we learned…
…that a tiny little spoon can cause all kinds of weather related disasters.
In home ec, we learn the secret way…
i…to put a baby to sleep.
In gym class, I could try to tell you that the goalie…
…is a cat, but I’d be fe lying to you.
In the ninja arts, we see the ultimate finisher…
…sword of.
In zoology class, we learned how to take care of animals…
…actually I’m lion.
In other veterinarian instruction…
…Kriss Kross doesn’t always make you jump.
We teach you how to handle a fish…
…but you have to be willing to take a shot first.
In the end, we will teach you how never to give up…
…and how stupid it is to believe that.
In the end…
…just try to stay awake…or don’t.
It’s Friday. What are we doing in class again? Can that stupid bell just ring, so we can go home and hit the couch and eat some pizza and fall asleep watching pizza? For goodness sake.
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter School Friday Giftures Ben