Considering all the bitterness that happened this week, there are all kinds of reasons you needed to stay home and not be here at work. You know what I’m talking about. You embarrassed the boss by doing that thing, you did that report on Word instead of Excel, and you spilled water all over your annoying co-worker(Which one? Does it matter? They are all annoying.) right in front of everyone at the company barbecue. Since you can’t miss today, you don’t have many options. So saunter in, make yourself at home, kick your feet up, grab a pillow and blanket(to make your fort with), put up a sign saying, “DO NOT DISTURB. BUSY DOING STUFF” and grab a computer, tablet or phone (and some popcorn) and watch yourself some Bitter Giftures.
Try to hide your giddiness…
…of seeing Ms. Ballerina getting burned.
On the other hand, hide…
…your gymnastic abilities.
When you have this kind of talent…
…don’t hide that swag from the world.
You’re going to want to hide this…
…but we’ll find it.
Whatever you do…
…don’t hide your love for the Scooby Snacks.
Be fierce…
…stand tall.
Run fast…
…fall hard.
Face your fears…
…and by that, I mean run from your fears.
Actually…
…just stare at them.
Remember to always fight fair…
…cause this is the internet.
But really what I’m trying to say is…
…don’t try to hide your pizza from me.
Because…
…I will find it and I will eat it.
Now that you have your pizza and you are eating it too, make sure you go into hiding so no one else will take it from you. Because there are two kinds of people in this world, I can’t stand. People that try to take my pizza, and all the other people.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH
In Bitter Hiding at the Moment Ben