As you know, I’m a big fan of the nap. It provides me with a good way to get away from reality, because reality makes me bitter. In reality, you have to be around people and answer questions, and do things. All things I don’t like doing. I’ve found though, that you don’t always have to be inside on your couch to be able to nap. Recently, we got season passes to the local mini-waterpark which has my favorite water attraction. The lazy river, which I believe was named after me. Yesterday, I found that if you lean on your raft just right, you can drift off uncomfortably to sleep, only to be awakened by other little people who think this thing is a roller coaster ride. I will get my revenge little water devils!
I might accidentally…
…push you on a skateboard in the street…
Or teach you the true terror…
…of healthy snacks…
Speaking of healthy snacks…
…how would you like to be one?
You wanna follow me…
…”fall”ow away.
Just make sure to keep…
…your crazy eyes on the ball.
You think you are safe inside…
cause you aren’t.
Ready for a little…
…hummingbird torture?
Here’s pool I built for you…
…whoops, I knocked it down. So sorry about that.
This will teach you…
…not to horse around.
Don’t be surprised if I…
…actually be surprised.
Hey, do you mind if I get a scoop of ice cream from you…
…only one scoop.
Oh you have a boring story you want to tell me…
…tell me all about it.
Oh and you have a boring story to tell me about your summer vacation? Go ahead and tell me all about it. I can’t wait to hear all about it. Wow me. Tell me what you are doing with all those same precious few hours you get at the end of the day like every other day of the year. Or what you did with the same few weeks you get for vacation every year. I promise not to drift off when you are telling me all about it…
ARRRRGGGHHH
Bitter Drift King Ben