On the weekends, I rarely venture off the land mass known as leather couch island, but for some reason some miniature life form kept brow beating me to leave the island as as he does from time to time. Instead of continuing to allow my unshaven brows to receive a Mike Tyson like beating, I decided to allow the young earth person to drag my couch melded body to the bitter outdoors. The 95% cloud covered sky was so bright that I could barely see 80 feet in front of my face, but somehow I found a way to load up his two wheeled ET transport vehicle and made our way to the local forest, one that had no trees, a big lawn, a bunch plastic equipment that had swing-like devices, slide-like devices, merry-go-round-like devices and a bunch of annoying little people-like devices running around them. The young person didn’t only want to play in the local area, thus allowing me to meld with the plastic bench, but wanted to venture to a path that lead below some tall wooden things with green plastic leave things at the top. Of course 4 feet in the wooded area we got lost and could only find out way out seconds later. He later wanted to climb the plastic mountains and it was exhausting having to stand for seconds on end film him doing parkour or whatever the kids are calling the climbing on of the object thingys. This caused me to miss not only valuable shade time on the couch, but also made it impossible to blog. Here’s what you missed while you were getting lost going places:
Music. Really bad and uplifting music. Music that would make you want to dance and smile and happy. Yeah, the kind of music that needs to be banned and changed and…bitterized. Very much so. You can see the taking down of upbeat music by me in Bitterizing Upbeat Music.
Being a jerk. It is something that comes naturally to someone like me, so I decided to impart a tiny bit of my huge range of knowledge on the subject. I also showed a few examples via my Friday Giftures in Bitter Friday Jerktures.
And I got some gifs:
If you don’t get lost in the forest, at least you can get lost on the way to work, or in whatever it was you were supposed to be doing.
Bitter Lost Ben