There is a long standing tradition between me and my family, acquaintances and co-workers, that I crack really lame jokes, puns, and mixed metaphors and they groan, snort or completely ignore me. Since my plan is to live my life in complete and utter isolation, the plan is going much better than I had hoped. Even bitter, there are a lot of really clever people out there that are taking the spotlight away from my terrible punjoketaphors to further distract people from wanting to talk to me. I want to tell these people to continue to do that so my goal of survival of the lonliness continues. So I would like to dedicate this Friday Picture Post to them for being one of many things that take the heat from me.
Macs are so smart they can hold Windows…
Macs hold up pretty well. They have good tech support too.
This guy is so clever he can hold open a door…
The ladies love when you hold the door…closed for them.
This girl is a bitter face prodigy…
Bitter Ben’s long lost daughter?
This horse is clever enough to know when a blanket doesn’t match…
“Nah, dude. I’m freeblanketing today.”
This talented guy can sign and balloon at the same time…
“Do you want a dog or a giraffe?”
When they talk about how smart the cloud is….
They’re talking about this guy.
Don’t be jealous of this guys mad coconut breaking skills…
…or even more jealous of his ancient hand breaking technique.
Paris has a dream…
…that one day we will be as smart as her…
This guy has mad communications skills…
Famous for starting the Shawshank Redemption Prison in Maine, that held such notorious prisoners as Andy Dufrense and Red.
And last but least, this unambitious nobody that can’t do anything but make it snow…Is he Frosty’s cousin?
Just chillin being bitter….
Like me, leave the cleverness to these geniuses above. Instead, have a uncleverly, bitterly, lame and unimportant Friday. Because no one has ever invented or did anything productive on Friday. Especially me.
Arrrrggghhhh
Bitter Unclever Ben
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Ben's Bitter Blog 
I think Paris uses her dog’s brain.
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I heard she got framed for that tweet, but I’m going to choose to believe that she said it because a terrible person who only loves herself and her dog.
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I can’t tell if your bitterness made me giggle-snort or if I’m suffering from acid reflux. I will say this…Whenever Mac supports Windows it rarely ends well… Having said all that, I guess I should probably tell you that your bitterness isn’t nearly as off putting as you might like. JaneyBGood from CupidOrCats stopped by my blog share party to throw a little blog love your way!
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It must be acid reflux. I have that too, so I must have passed the virus through the computer, called a computer virus. JaneyBGood is a good blogger. Hope you guys had fun.
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We did… Party is still going on. You’re welcome to stop by and see her shout out. Actually, it turned out she beat someone else to the punch. You were almost double pimped.
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Where is the party? http://www…..
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http://theinnerwildkat.wordpress.com/2013/12/29/just-call-me-a-pimpstress-come-join-the-party/
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Pingback: In case you missed it…because you were playing with your shiny new toys | Ben's Bitter Blog
I loved what you said at the beginning. XD
But wtf was up with the dude chopping the coconuts? That was just…weird.
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Yeah, my guess is the coconut guy was just trying to set some sort of coconut chopping record and started bad and just got worse.
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Got a LOT worse…
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This was fun Ben! I spent a little too much time on the horse one though. I watched it about 5 times in a row before I realized it was repeating. Ha! And I’m not even bitter . . . .
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I think by watching the horse 5 times you prooved that you were bitter. By the way, the horse is just a distraction while I brainwash you into being bitter.
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Oh I’m glad you think I proved I was bitter! And here I thought it proved I was dumb!
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Nope bitter.
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The South African signer is the best one! I love that he is multi talented and can sign and make dogs. I say you were very productive on this Friday! 🙂
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It’s not everyday that people can do more than one thing. Or is that just me that can’t multitask
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Please, please God tell me that tweet from Paris Hilton was fake.
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Unfortunately it was. Dang it.
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Lol, love Mac for windows and the face slam, I imagine that bitterness brought you joy! 🙂
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Mac is always holding up windows. And for goodness sake any face slam moves my bitterness quotient up.
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I feel like I can see that horse guys exasperated face just from the slump of his shoulders. That horse is my hero. Also that guy who barely slips in through the door. Mad skillZ.
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Who is the horse and who is the master? I think ninja horse.
That dude is probably sleeping on the couch tonight too. Because his girlfriend broke up with him.
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The bitter little girl is my favorite…I think we should recruit her for Chaos. She could be your minion.
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She would a great recruit for our evil empire. We will send her to the B.I.T.T.E.R. school of Bitterness, then a she will go to Evil High.
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That sound perfect! Recruit them young, I say.
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And force them to be evil.
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We’ll give them a reason to be evil.
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They will have to take evil gymnastics. They don’t call them gymnicetics.
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Perfect. And they will hate it, but that’s almost the same as loving it when you’re evil.
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I will enjoy them not liking it.
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I think GBS was talking about himself as a communicator. Ever forced to read any of this stuff?
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Nope I wasn’t lucky enough to get to read him.
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omg i love the balloon man, the bitter child and the horse who’s not haven’ it!
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Those were all specifically done to for you. It totally worked!
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Bitter Ben I’m so sorry to be commenting, because you have just clearly said you don’t want to have contact with people. But I just wanted to say I know how you feel, so I hope we can be good enemies, or at least pretty darn indifferent towards each other. God luck in your quest.
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I’m always looking for bitter enemies, feud aquaintances and other such random people. Just kidding, not at all. My quest will succeed!
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Then I wish you every bit of luck. Stay bitter, and you might even want to try being a bit sour, if your usual tactics don’t work!
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The only clever thing I’ve realized today is that I can bring cookies to my mouth using both hands.
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Another fact. You can also cram more than one in your mouth with only one hand.
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Hahahaha yes. Just yes. You should do an instructional Youtube video.
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Love the Shawshank Redemption reference, and of course, the title 😀
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I must have misspelled it. The title was supposed to say Clever Girl edition.
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