Mice or rats or whatever you want to call them make me so bitter. They are squeaky and they run all over your house infecting things and chewing up valuable clothing that is worn once and then stored neatly in the back of your closet never to be worn again.
Have they not realized that their place in out in forest where there are dead creatures to eat instead of inside eating all our leftover food that we were too full to eat? I mean talk about rude right? Then they have the nerve to run around and scare the women and children of the house (let’s admit it, the men too) only to then die conveniently in some wall that we can never get to so we can smell them for a week before they finally decompose. Then for weeks we are scarred for life so have to go buy expensive traps only for them to be gone again. ARRRGGGHHH!
But this is why mice make me so bitter. We as a country worship them. Don’t believe me? Every been to Disneyland? Who’s the symbol of Disney? Yeah that’s right. Mikey Mouse, that for some reason everyone in this country likes. Not only that but he has a girlfriend and they talk. And walk around on two feet and have a dog that can talk and walk on two feet and another that walks on four and can’t talk. And they have a duck friend that talks, uh well, something. Charming, adorable, an icon. And a mouse. A stinkin mouse.
How about another Disney/Pixar favorite? Every seen Ratatoille? An emotional story about a creature that is different from his fellow rats because he has the desire to eat and cook real food. He ends up in a dying, but world renown kitchen on the brink of collapse and saves not only the restaurant, his bumbling human friend, his relationship with his father rat, and his rat family, and even a critics childhood memories and helping him discover why he became a critic in the first place. But…he’s a rat. In a restaurant. Are you kidding me? The health inspector is a bad guy…for trying to get rid of the rats.
There are other examples of them out there, Mighty Mouse for some of the older kids and how about the neverending Tom and Jerry cartoons? This last week there was an all day marathon and I had no idea that there were so many lengthy cartoons for them. I could barely stand a few short minutes of them them. And that is when I was 4 years old. Now they have an hour and a half movie? Can I sum up one of their cartoons in about two sentences? Cat almost gets mouse, mouse finds object to pummel cat with. Repeat. So the second sentence was a little short. Sorry. I’m no genius, but shouldn’t we want a little more creativity from our cartoons? Shouldn’t we hope that eventually the cat learns a lesson and tries to find a different mouse that isn’t so on to its tricks? I’m not a smart person, but if a mouse pummeled me over 15,000 times over 50 years, I think I’d try something else. Anything else. Same goes for the mouse. Doesn’t it get old annoying the same person over and over again? Okay maybe not.
So, mice of the world. Stop tricking us with cartoon characters that are mildly amusing so that we might like you. It works for some people but it will not work with me. No matter how funny you are in when you are in cartoon form, you are still a mouse or a rat. You are dirty and ugly and you make me bitter. Be bitter in your forest or whatever. We aren’t a mouse house.