I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had made the most awkward transition of my life from elementary school to junior high. It was the first day of 7th Grade English, and my teacher asked us all to do my least favorite thing ever. The thing an anxiety ridden, shy, introverted, new-to-junior-high kid … Continue reading Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
Categorical Failure Bitterness
Back in high school, I was assigned to do a group presentation about something boring to our class. It was a bunch of really boring facts, where most of the groups just stood up, and presented the facts the same old way. I didn't like boring, so I asked everyone in the group if we … Continue reading Categorical Failure Bitterness
Side Quests BFG’s
Unlike most college students, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I've always been bitter, and my life is all about taking over the world so I can spread bitterness throughout the world. I only went to college to figure out the best way to do that. Of course, college failed … Continue reading Side Quests BFG’s
Talent Show Bitterness
When I was younger and family reunions were still a thing, we used to go to exotic locations like California, Arizona, or Utah to visit old people. Every time, I would get comments like, "My, how you've grown," or "Why does he always have a scowl on his face?" Then really ancient relatives wouldn't show … Continue reading Talent Show Bitterness
Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
My wife likes to make fun of me because I'm a routine-oriented guy. I go to sleep at the same time, I wake up at the same time. I eat eggs and peanut butter sandwiches all the time. I always blog on Wednesday's and Friday's. I have a lot of the same daily routines at … Continue reading Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
Bitter Writer’s Strike
When I was a freshman in college, my first class, in my first semester at 7 am, was an English class. I remember it well for two reasons. The first, was that the teacher reminded me of a combination of George McFly from Back to The Future and Bern Gorman (the guy that would have … Continue reading Bitter Writer’s Strike
Space Invaders BFG’s
Space Invaders was one of the first video games I played growing up. If you've never played it, it was a super basic alien invasion game. A bunch of pixelated aliens (about 55 of them) march across and down the screen shooting lasers at your little square battleship. If they destroyed your battleship, or made … Continue reading Space Invaders BFG’s
The Most Important Chip
My wife and daughter have been out of town since last Friday, so it's just me and my son for the week. My delusional personality figured it would fun and games for the whole week. The boy and I would play games on the weekend, then go to school and work and live the high … Continue reading The Most Important Chip
John Wick Training BFG’s
Last night it was all about the speed. Not the drug that makes you hyper, weirdos. Not Lightning McQueen either. I'm talking about Speed, the cool movie with Keanu Reeves. The one that launched Sandra Bullock's career. If you think Sandra Bullock's career is impressive, then take her career, multiply it by a cool factor … Continue reading John Wick Training BFG’s
Cosplay Bitterness
We all have a Mecca of sorts. A place in the world that we dream of going someday, because it has some sort of significance to us. Some people would love to visit the North Pole and have a visit with Santa Claus, because they love being cold. Others would love to visit the homeland … Continue reading Cosplay Bitterness
Reduced to Atoms BFG’s
If you are a fan of NBA basketball, you just saw the Sacramento Kings break a playoff drought of 17 years. If you want to feel old, that was 2006. To me, that seems like just yesterday, but to my daughter, that was a time she doesn't remember, because she was only 1. And my … Continue reading Reduced to Atoms BFG’s
Senior Recruiting Bitterness
The other day, someone mentioned to me that I don't look a day over 50. I found that rude, because I'm three days over 50 now. If I was a more violent person, I would've taken him to the closest wrestling ring and wrang his neck, but my son is stronger than me now. I … Continue reading Senior Recruiting Bitterness
50 Reasons to Be Bitter
Since I'm 50 years bitter today, I'm supposed to be having my mid-life crisis, but since we all know that I'm not making it to 100, that means I'm well past my mid-life crisis and should have had it a while ago. But since nobody really tells you when this life is over, it's not … Continue reading 50 Reasons to Be Bitter
Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
The weather people in Utah spent all last summer moaning and complaining about the apocalyptical drought we were going through. They warned us to stop watering our lawns and demanded that we stop drinking unless we were on drop from dying of dehydration. We were assured if we brushed our teeth and let the water … Continue reading Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
The Bitter Corruption Industry
Ten years ago, I was living in Seattle at the peak of my misery. If you've lived in Seattle, you know there is only two seasons. One lasts 11 and a half months and it's cloudy, cold, rainy, wet and windy. The other two weeks, the sun vacationed in Seattle, but it was only for … Continue reading The Bitter Corruption Industry
Electric Blue Bitterness
I've spent most of my life trying to spread bitterness like most people spread frozen butterness on their toast. Just like the spreaders of butter on toast, it's hard work and it rarely works out how I want it to. After spreading bitterness for almost 50 years, I finally decided to make the world better … Continue reading Electric Blue Bitterness
Forward Thinking BFG’s
I've been running this Bitter Blog Empire for 11 years now, thus making me an expert in running blog empires, according to Malcom Gladwell. To prove it, I've written 1446 posts, each which average over 500 words per post. That is 723,000 words that I've created mostly from brain. A few monkeys pounded some words … Continue reading Forward Thinking BFG’s
Phantom Zone Bitterness
I don't know if you've noticed, but when it comes to the DC Universe, there are two Co-Alpha Dogs. The two of them are so strikingly different, that they would be on par with how different my two kids are. You know the two I'm talking about. Superman and Batman. Before all the epic DC … Continue reading Phantom Zone Bitterness
Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Back in 1996, the NBA released their list of the Top 50 players of all time and as soon as they did, they created a debate among fans. It got them what they wanted, which was a lot of attention to the game. At the time, most people agreed that Michael Jordan was the GOAT, … Continue reading Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
My Hostage Demands
There are a lot of things that I am, but one of the things I'm not is a demanding person. If you are a customer service rep, you want my name to pop up on your caller ID, because this is going to be an easy call. If you are my family, you know I … Continue reading My Hostage Demands
Ben's Bitter Blog 