I like to talk about this a lot, because it makes me so bitter. When I was a kid, I was skinny as a rail. I know because I used to have a bed that had a rail, and I would sit in front of the mirror and compare myself to it. Just kidding. I … Continue reading Skin Eraser
Comedy
Bitter Friday Party Giftures
Friday's are normally associated with pizza, being lazy at work, and Parties. One of these things are not like the other. I've never much liked parties, because I don't like loud, I don't like people, I don't like talking and I don't like being on someone else's couch. In fact, the only good thing about … Continue reading Bitter Friday Party Giftures
Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
Back in the old days (pre-Benzoic Era 1973) people were polite when they decided that they didn't want to something anymore. People would write a nice note to their boss apologizing that they needed a little time off of work from the mines that they worked 18 hours a day 7 days a week. … Continue reading Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
Get Hooked on Friday Giftures
You know how when you first start reading this blog, you can't turn away because it is such a train wreck that you can't stop reading it? And then you wait for the next one in the next hour and it just never comes and you can't concentrate on anything else? I'm sorry to tell you, that you … Continue reading Get Hooked on Friday Giftures
How to Stage a Bittervention
The holidays are a hotbed of people being excited, happy to see each other, warm fires, fun chats with family and friends. The cold, hard reality is that you will be surround by insanely happy people. Don't worry, I know how hard this can be. Happy people are a really buzzkill to the gloomy, sad, … Continue reading How to Stage a Bittervention
Crashing into Friday Giftures
Did this week feel like a train wreck in progress to everyone else like it did to me? I don't know if you remember all the way back to Monday, but it was a whole month ago (September) and that is a busy month for my job. It required me to sit at my desk … Continue reading Crashing into Friday Giftures
Bitter Pain
Two weeks ago while on vacation, I was at a small, local waterpark, doing the thing that I was born to do when I'm not laying on a couch. As soon as I got my kids set up so they wouldn't drown, I got myself in the endless cycle of a lazy river. I … Continue reading Bitter Pain
From The Bitter May Snowstorm to Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Vol. 3
Seattle is one of the few places in Western hemisphere where it can go a whole year without snow from October to April, but somehow hammer us with snow in May. When I first moved here 13 years ago and witnessed the phenomenon, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The worst part was the … Continue reading From The Bitter May Snowstorm to Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Vol. 3
In In case you missed it…because you were busy telling your mom sorry for being such a bitter brat
Orr....maybe that was just me. Yeah, definitely. My mom raised 5 kids, a husband, a cat and a dog. She fed the dog better than me, but on the other hand, he didn't bark back at her as much as I did. She woke up super early every morning to teach me (and a bunch … Continue reading In In case you missed it…because you were busy telling your mom sorry for being such a bitter brat
Ben's Bitter Blog 