When people think of social media platforms, they think of the typical ones like Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, Snapchat or MySpace. Those are okay, but they don’t have the depth of Venmo. Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok give you surface details about what you and others like, but Venmo tells you what people are really like, because it tells you where they spend their money. If you don’t believe me, just go scroll the pay/request feed. You get to see people you know paying other people that you don’t know. It’s a stalker/Private Eye’s dream social media app.

Another social media app that knows more about the core of you is Spotify. Music can change your mood in a matter of seconds. It can make you cry, get insta-shivers, or pull out of a deep depression. For some reason, music has an otherworldly and magical ability to come at the exact moments that we need it.

Music changes movies, TV shows and content on social media platforms. A quick music clip on Tik Tok has created new artists that have sold millions of downloads. TV shows have been renewed for another season because of a well-timed song at the end of a season finale. Music has metaphorically sucked money out of my wallet by taking turd movies and turning them into masterpiece trailers.

I have mediocre feelings about the Star Wars movies, but to this day, I will go back and watch the Rise of the Skywalker trailer over and over again. It isn’t the random clips of the movie, but the remix of the John Williams music’s perfectly timed trumpets blaring at the end as the new title comes up that still gives me hope that it can be a good movie.

We’ve all had at least a few magical moments in our lives when a song with perfectly timed words or beats comes at the same time as we are experiencing the thing happening in the song. Or the crescendo of the song comes right when we are experiencing a crescendo of bitterness and it completely changs our mood to another type of bitterness.

Unlike your co-workers and your family, Spotify listens to you (and peruses your playlists), and uses “the algorithm” to feed you a new dopamine-filled playlist every week in the form of Discover Weekly. In other words, Spotify knows you better than you know yourself. When I finally realized that, I stopped trying to learn things. I started listening to what Spotify says, like some people listen to what their horoscope says.

Here’s one thing that Spotify is telling me. I like songs that have the word “ghost” in them. I haven’t figured out the exact meaning, but I’ve been digging deep with theories. It could be that I like to being invisible like ghosts. Definitely true. It could also mean that I like ghosting people, because it’s easier to disappear from someone’s life than go into a long explanation about why I’m so toxic for them.

It could mean that I live in a haunted house and ghosts are haunting me. It could mean that I’m like Bruce Willis in Sixth Sense (spoiler warnings) and I’m actually a ghost. I’m here to haunt other people, which I’m good at, and it also explains why no one ever listens to me or acknowledges my presence, especially in my house. If that’s the case, that would explain why only a few people follow my blog, and the ones that do are people that can see dead people. Or ones that enjoy ghost posts.

Either way, I’ll figure it out, because I have faith in Spotify. I will follow its yellow brick road toward figuring out my life (or ghosthood). In the meantime, here are some Bitter Friday Ghostures…

Some people love Tik Tok, but when it comes to social media…

Venmo is the preferred social media app…

Private eyes…

And the government…

Those that prefer social media that know you better than you know yourself…

Unlike your co-workers and family…

It also stalks…

And unlike your co-workers and family…

In my case, it kept telling me that I like songs with ghosts…

Or that I like…

Or that I’m living in…

But the most logical conclusion is that I’m a ghost…

This also explains why I’m always bitter. I hate being in the middle of places. I either want to be at work or home. In between is hiking. Walking somewhere for no reason. If I walk, I want it to be to the fridge to get some pizza. Being a ghost is like being in the middle of living and going to my final resting place.

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Ghost Post Ben