Hot List Bitter Friday Giftures

I am a failure in many aspects of my life. I think you know some of them and I don’t have time to list most of them. In order to really feel like a failure, make sure you compare yourself to someone who is much better off than you. Easy peasy, you will feel inadequate. Comparison is the thief of joy after all.

So today on the Today Show, they came up with a list of the Hot Gifts this year from Christmas. My wife called me in and said: “you need to watch this, so we can make sure we got all the gifts this year or we’ve failed!”

I proceeded to watch the whole thing and made a mental checklist of the things on the list that we had purchased. Nope, nada, no, don’t got that, hadn’t even heard of that, don’t have young kids for that, and no. We did not pick one thing on that list. Failures. Just like in many other aspects of my life. In fact, the one thing I don’t seem to fail at is putting out the Bitter Friday Giftures, which start….right…now…

Exactly like me…

…except for the smile and I’m only carrying one small bag.

My kids on Christmas day…

…except for bitter, disappointed faces and only one gift.

That’s…

…more like it.

The look they give me…

…when they are trying to hide the disappointment.

It’s…

…what I specialize in.

My kids…

…learned from the best.

This is me if I was turned into a cat…

…because I don’t like cats.

Some asked me to play Santa once…

…my reaction.

Thank you so much…

…for so many ties and sock again this year!

My kids: If I don’t get everything on this list…

…I’m begging out of this family.

I’m the DJ…

…my wife is the wrapper.

Get ready to use your face…

…to show how much you love your gifts.

The nice thing is that all this practice getting bad gifts for the holidays can translate to other areas of your life. For instance, your birthday might be happening soon. Or you boss can tell you that you will be doing twice the amount of work for the same amount of pay. Or you can get rejected for a date. Or from a job you thought you had. Or that your kids have a huge project due tomorrow and they are just telling you about it at 9 pm the night before. I mean I’ve never had any of those things happen to me, but maybe they might happen to you. You’re welcome for all the good advice.

How about you? How do you handle all the bad gift-giving or terrible news? Lemme know.

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Hot Gifts of the Month Ben