Short Week Bitter Friday Giftures

 

Remember all the way back to Monday? Remember how most of us had Labor Day off? It seems like so long ago but we decided not to labor ironically. The reason why it seems so long ago, is because of this weird phenomenon where those shorter weeks we get from holidays seem longer because of it. I don’t know about you, but every time I’ve ever had a four day work week, I feel like the week seems twice as long. Which is why I think we should experiment with one day work weeks to see if perhaps that day is even longer. As a glutton for punishment, I volunteer as tribute. Of course, because the week will seem five times as long, I expect 5 times the pay. That is a sacrifice I’m willing to make for all of you. You’re welcome. Especially since it will be a Friday and I will have to do these Giftures and have pizza on the same day. I’m actually kind of a national hero if you ask me. On to the Bitter Friday Giftures:

Just like everyone else…

…our barbecue didn’t go as we planned.

And Labor Day was…

…a tad roasty outside.

We went to the mall…

…and we ran into a little bit of a line.

And when I finally woke up on Tuesday…

…so did reality.

As expected…

…the week got off to a slow start.

I tried to work on a little interview…

…but that had an abrupt end.

I tried to work on a spreadsheet…

…but then I realized I don’t know what a spreadsheet is.

I tried to work the computer…

…but how to operate it wasn’t coming back to me.

I asked IT about it…

…and they came and fixed it.

Since I bring the bagels on Wednesday…

I asked them to slice them…and they did them wrong.

Now that it is finally Friday…

…I feel like I’ve been kicked in the head.

And I’m ready for…

…Saturday.

Alright, so if there are any people out there that are willing to give me a try for the one day work week, I might be willing to apply for your job. Just make sure I don’t have to do anything too intensive because you know, it’s Friday and we are all living for that weekend baby.

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Labor One Day Ben

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