I was thinking about doing a new segment here on the blog and what a bitter way to start it then on this Monday when I am particularly bitter about a certain subject.
But first, lemme tell you what the segment is called. Maniac Monday, of course stolen by the song by the Bangles, but renamed Maniac Monday so the blatant ripoff isn’t so obvious to people. Anyways, besides Tuesday, Monday is the worst day right? Since I have tried and failed at many different things on this blog, why not try and fail at one more thing? Because if I’ve learned one thing, it is that trying always lead to failure.
So one of my favorite things is waking up early. I get in early for work, the commute is a lot less maddening, I’m a lot more tired in the afternoon, and then I leave early to traffic that still baffles me. I don’t actually accomplish anything because I wake up early. I don’t meditate, or go jogging, or even buy bagels for the office (I buy them for myself, of course).
There is just this magical bitterness that comes along with waking up way too early. It’s like, I could be like everyone else and get the right amount of sleep. Or I could be like every person in every movie ever and wake up when the sun is just shining through my window and I lazily take a shower, while breakfast is being made downstairs and kids and getting ready for school. That doesn’t work for me at all.
Me sneaking out every morning.
I need to sneak around the house like a ninja, and get out of there. I don’t want to be around in the mornings when kids are awake. Then they would want to talk to me. Try to get free advice, tell me to have a good day, etc. Nobody needs that kind of false hope in the morning.
I rely on my alarm clock to jar me out of sleep at 5 am. It’s too early in the morning to rely on the internal alarm clock. My fear is that I will wake up at 8 am and then I will have to speak to the wife and kids and then they will need me to do something or whatever.
So of course, this Maniac Monday I forgot to set my alarm. As I almost always do, I woke up in a panic that my alarm didn’t go off, but this time I was actually right. It was 5:20 am, so I was not only right, but late.
Woke up in a panic.
That always sets the day up on the wrong side of the foot. My minds starts racing a little too fast for 5:20 am and my shower nap has to be so much shorter. Every little thing has to go a little faster and my morning routine gets screwed up. The alarm clock doesn’t get to sleep in. He always need to be waking me up.
Your day is just a little behind for the rest of the day. Thank goodness, I’m a bitter person, so I have something to mess up the rest of my day.
What about you? How does the missing of an alarm clock mess up your day? What do you think about my new segment Maniac Monday? What are your favorite stupid things that happen on Monday?
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Alarm Clock Slippage Ben