My wife likes to torture me with the TV she watches. She loves to watch Hallmark and Lifetime network shows. Even worse though are Intervention. My least favorite of all is Hoarders. Hoarders sickens me. I am not a hoarder by any stretch of the imagination. That show makes me sick to my stomach. Not only to see how much filth and mess are created in one person’s house, but the fact that they show mentally ill people on TV and exploit it for a show just makes me so bitter.
This is not to say I’m a clean person. I create dishes and messes all the time. I leave clothes places, and have to constantly be reminded to pick this up, close this door, turn off this light, stop putting things places. In fact, today at work we are having some VIP’s coming in, and we have to make sure our desks are clean and we are wearing appropriate clothes. (I assume by appropriate clothes they mean sweats and clean T-shirts).
This got me to thinking, why do some people warrant advanced warnings on cleaning up places? Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday, and for some reason mother’s-in-law in particular seem to warrant advanced clean up. Every time my mother comes to visit, my wife is planning the particulars of how, when and where things will be cleaned. The floors are to be done, closets organized, and shoes picked up. Even the basement is done, even though neither us or my mother have been down there for the last 6 months. Even utility closets are scrubbed to the nines.
Then there are the dignitaries. The last time the queen, prince and princess visited we had to dust the top of the fridge and the china sets. We even had to wash the Tupperware. I’m not sure why we had to clean our regular plates, because the whole time, all they wanted to use was my daughters plastic tea sets for “fake” afternoon tea parties and play with the dolls. They never even asked about our real china sets.
And all Harry and Charles wanted to do was play Fortnite on our Xbox and eat pizza and donuts. They got us banned from 5 different groups because they kept claiming that they got Royal rights to winning and my groups were having none of that. They didn’t even offer to take us out, and when they did they only wanted to go to McDonald’s. We got them caviar, and they said they didn’t like those “slimy fish thingys” so we had to throw them out and get Sausage McMuffin’s instead. They were so rude to the other kid’s in Playland too. I guess you can’t take royals anywhere.
What I don’t understand is why when I go places, people don’t put their best efforts into cleaning their houses or work places for me. Is my status as the King of Bitterness not good enough for an effort in cleaning their house? Is my constant bitter face not worth cleaning your desk whenever I visit your office?
How do you all feel about that? Doesn’t it make you bitter when people don’t clean up for you, wherever you go? Why should Princes, mother’s, and CEO’s get all the constant clean up? Why are they so special?
Bitter Clean Up Ben