Exactly.
For some reason there has always been this weird debate between people’s rival products. There is the XBox vs. Playstation vs. Nintendo thing, there is the whole Marvel vs. DC thing and this Apple vs. Samsung debate. I used to be the mad loyalist to products until the day that I realized they don’t care about me, and quite honestly, they aren’t loyal back.
On that note, I still like my Samsung Galaxy Note 3 (yeah, I’m only 4 generations behind) because it is customizable. I can take the battery out and change it, I can insert more memory if I need to and I can write notes on it with my stylist pen (which I have used for years to remember post ideas). People love to be able to customize. It’s just makes things more personal.
So why in the heaven’s name are people themselves not more customizable? Sure, they are to an extent, like you can get a tattoo, or a different haircut, or wear different clothes. But man, we need to catch up to movies, books and video games. Cosmetic changes aren’t enough. We need much better ones.
Where is our slot for upgrades?
Upgradeable Brain – We wouldn’t need video or photo cameras if we had internal hard drives that allowed us to print to a printer or download memories or moments to a computer. Yes, we have a brain, and it records every second of every moment of the day. But then the brain gets all selfish and keeps almost all the ideas to himself. A hard drive on the other hand, can recall all our information AND spit it back out at demand. I would like a brain that can be upgraded so I can pull any info I want at any time, and it doesn’t just store it in the deep dark recesses and refuse to let me view things again. And how about letting me choose what needs to be deleted?
Skin Armor – The epidermis is amazing and keeps all kinds of things from our internal organs, like water, and toxins and other stuff. Unfortunately, skin is soft and mushy and easily damagable. Knives seem to be able to pierce them, bullets seem to go right through it. Heck, a sharp pencil can even pierce it(ask my brother). We have to walk around like we are encased in glass. If we had the option of upgrading to stronger skin or armor that could protect us from guns, knives and other weapons, we could go more places, even dangerous ones, instead of hiding out in safer areas. We might visit some places that weren’t safe and see the beauty of those places too.
First person is nice, but what about a drone view?
Change our Views – In video games, first person games are pretty popular, probably because that is how we all see the world. But they also have different views. They have the over the shoulder view, the third person view, the drone view, and all kinds of other perspectives. Why can’t we change our views? Why can’t we zoom in and out with our eyes? Or look at ourselves without using a mirror? Seems like our eyes could use an upgrade that could allow us to actually see what others do and then we wouldn’t always be so mad at them for things.
Powers – In video games, the more we play and get better at things, the more powers we can obtain. Yes, we can do that to an extent in our bodies. We can work for hours and hours at the gym, and get stronger muscles, but that only helps in a limited way. We don’t get invincible skin, or the ability to fly, or super strength. We should be more duly rewarded for our efforts, and not done in by something as delicious as bread or cheese. And Kale should not be considered a super food, since it doesn’t give us the ability to levitate.
Money – In video games, there is a shopkeeper in every town that allows us to sell all our junk back. Whether it is our newest sword, our mightiest shield, or just a berry that we picked in the wilderness, the shopkeep is always around, and will buy anything back at a 1/4 of the price and doesn’t ever complain. Where are our shopkeeps to buy our leftover Ipods, old pens and pencils and water bottles? Seems like the junk problem would be solved if we were able to trade anything in for more money.
Customization is the name of the game these days. Our phones, our computers, our living rooms, can all be changed and upgraded. Why not us?
If you could upgrade anything about your body, what would it be?
ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter First Person View
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I can see you have thought of everything 😉
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I barely think of anything. You are giving me way too much credit.
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The problem I foresee with the body upgrade capacity is the same problem we have with technology upgrades, i.e., compatibility across devices. Applied to humans, this could make matters worse. What if I upgrade my brain, and ny husband doesn’t. As it is, I remember things he doesn’t. Also, what if the bad guys had the money to upgrade their skin to be like iron shields, and the poor guys still had last year’s model? That would make me bitter.
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Well for those people that are way too upgraded, we just create viruses, just like now for our computers.
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There should be taste bud plug-ins for when your “friends” drag you to that five star restaurant in an exotic country and all the food is unpronounceable and unrecognizable and you spend the entire meal trying not to gag on it. All you have to do is plug in the appropriate taste buds for that cuisine, and – voilà – you love every bite.
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I know right? Or any kind of weird food. I mean anything that isn’t pizza, should get a taste bud upgrade.
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I would downsize this thing- make myself “slimline.” The rest of me I can deal with, typically by dishing out extreme sarcasm.
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The slim line would be great. It just makes it so much harder to lay on the couch, when the body isn’t slim.
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I would definitely upgrade the memory. My brain’s been full for years.
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Upgrade my body? Why mess with perfection??!
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I wouldn’t know how that is. You must be so disgusted by all these imperfect people you have to deal with all day.
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I would upgrade my close-up vision. I had laser surgery two years ago, so I can see for incredible distances, but I still can’t see my hand in front of my face, so it’s stupid reading glasses all the time.
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I did the same. I got it like 10 years ago, and this year I finally had to get the reading glasses…so bitter. I wish they could fix the myopia or whatever they call it too.
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All I need is a more powerful index finger. It gets sore from all the mouse-clicking and scrolling. If it could be muscular, and about twice the size of my other fingers, I think that would solve all my problems.
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That is true. I need a stronger back and neck so I can better be able to handle the stresses of the couch, and an upgraded stomach so I can eat more cheese and bread without gaining weight.
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I think you are onto something there. It would be great if my brain could remember the stuff I want to recall, like so I could win at trivia, while burying in decent oblivion the stuff that only harms me to remember, like those awful witches in junior high who… And tougher skin would be GREAT, not just the mental kind. Right now I can count at least three annoying abrasions, and that’s just what’s not covered with clothes. I bet I could upgrade out of these chronic headaches as well.
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It just seems like it is time for our bodies to evolve and upgrade on their own right? So yeah, I could use some bulletproof skin, so I would feel more comfortable being rude in places and not worried about people stabbing me.
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My background is advertising and promotion. Brand loyalty. I heard recently how when you get something for free, there is no establishment of a relationship with the product. Therefore no loyalty, vs putting money towards it. In this age of free streaming, this becomes the issue. I now (try to) pay for everything, it makes me feel faintly virtuous, but it also gives me that vested interest and relationship with the artist, product, what have you. Advertising – the through-line of it is about how crappy your life is WITHOUT the product, IOW keeping that negative self talk active. Intellectually knowing that only gets you so far, we are only human, after all. Perhaps we SHOULD transition to robots. Fantastic post Ben!
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I got a degree in Marketing and wanted to be in advertising for years. Couldn’t break into it for years, but I am now finally starting a job Monday where I will be writing content and using Facebook to market to mortgage companies, so I am finally getting to do my dream of working in “advertising” and social media. I have always thought the marketing way, and now I am finally getting the chance to work in it. I agree with all those things. Kids want everything handed to them these days and don’t want to work for it. (though to be fair, that is what my parents said about my generation).
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May you have ‘interesting times’ in your foray, and I wish you the best Ben.
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I will always not have interesting times. I am pretty much the anti-interesting. Couch and TV for me all the way. My life story would be called Life on a Couch.
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