Ever since I was young, I had a little bit(ter) of a rebellious streak in me. I’ve always had an issue with authority because I don’t like people telling me what to do. I’ve never had a boss I didn’t want to rebel against, a parent or authority figure that liked to tell me what to do, that I didn’t try to ignore.
So, when November comes along and tells me that I have to start wearing a coat, or putting on snow tires, or turning on the heat, I start chafing against it. It’s not that I won’t do some of those things (the snow tires I will not), but I despise November bossing me around.
For some reason, November is a time for causes. NaNoWriMo(National Novel Writing Month) this and NaBloPoMo(National Blog Post Month) that. No-Shave November. This sounds an awful lot like November is bossing me around. Telling me I have to write 1655 words a day. Writing a blog post every single day. That I can’t shave this whole month.
Good luck with that, November. I might not shave many of those days, but I’m going to shave at least once. I might blog a lot of the days of the month, but not all 30. And I might just churn through a novel, edit it, and sell it millions of non-adoring fans, but I’m going to do it in February. DO NOT tell me which month I have to do it in.
And by the way, how dare you choose November to do all these things. I’ve got enough on my plate right now with the lazy naps on the Nov. 23rd and 24th. I’ve got several shows that I need to watch, and basketball season is upon us. Turkey is gonna give me some tryptophan later this month, and I’ve got Black Friday and relatives to complain about. With all these non-productive activities planned, how do you expect me to do productive things this month?
Because I’m a jerk and don’t listen to anyone(including myself), I’ve decided to start my own thing for November. I’m going to start a thing where every single day, we tell someone no. We shall call it NoWayImGoodBro. Starting today, we are going to say no to someone. Go ahead and make a list, put it in your planner, create a spreadsheet, set a reminder in your phone. However you like to check off your progress, this is the day to start doing it.
Someone want to make you go shopping? NoWayImGoodBro.
Someone need a ride to work? NoWayImGoodBro.
Someone ask you to follow them on Twitter, Facebook, their blog? NoWayImGoodBro.
Want to come to my party? NoWayImGoodBro.
Okay, not even to my Thanksgiving? NoWayImGoodBro.
Can you cover my shift so I can go to…NOWAYIMGOODBRO.
Look people. You spend all the rest of the months saying yes to people. People pleasing, boss and family obeying, obligation doing. Do that other months. This is the month to tell people how you really feel. No, I don’t want to fight traffic today. No, I don’t want to drive in early in the snow, bro. No, I do not like your nails. Nope, your haircut is bad. No, I do not want to marry you.
It doesn’t take much to start your NoWayImGoodBro November journey. It just takes replacing three little letters (yes) with two smaller letters (NO). After all, doesn’t November start with NO?
Bitter November Ben