Flying the coop Friday Giftures

 

I’m know most people don’t fly the coop until they are at least 18 years old, but as a 15 year old…employee, I feel like I’m immature enough to make a failure out of myself in the big bad world of not here. So, I’m spreading my broken wings and I’m going to fly, or better yet just drive because I’m a lazy bird that just needs to get home. And it’s not like I have one of those amazing hobo sacks at the end of a stick to hold all my belongings, but a U-haul might be big enough to hold all my video games, so I’ll just have to drive that thing. Anyways, as this is only a momentous occasion just for me(it’s my last day of work), because you don’t care, and I’m not quitting the internet, I will celebrate my last day here by wearing my bitter shirt and cutting out a little early. Also, I brought my son, so hopefully he will deflect a few people from asking me what my plans are. But you can celebrate by watching some not so successful people try to spread their wings.

This guy couldn’t quite make it to space…

This

…but at least he brought a few people down with him. 

This guy was going through denial…

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…he couldn’t seem to Face his problems…

Things were flying fast and furious here…

dsf

…well slow and furious anyways…

Speaking of furious…

df

…this fish finally couldn’t take it anymore. 

And who knew that you could fly so high…

roDIsDabReS3HBwOntW8_Bike Flip Physics

…by running into invisible walls?

Full speed ahead…

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…for the highest flying rocket you will never see. 

And you’re going to go flying in fear…

Ae

…when you come face to face with…Vicious Dog Man…

And who needs to walk down the steps…

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…when you can fly gracefully down them..

There’s nothing better than getting 2 for the price of 1…

df

…especially when it comes to TKO’s. 

When they said it was the van down by the river…

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…he didn’t know it meant him…

This guy was ready for a space launch…

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…but he was grounded. 

Let’s just say amazing gifture number two…

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…is going to happen when this kid gets off the stool. 

This guy was trying to achieve his field goals…

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..and he did. He made it on Friday Giftures…

Well, it’s been bitter and it has been real. And it has been real bitter. Just so you know, this isn’t the Bitter End for us. It’s just the Bitter Beginning. I have many more bitter stories to tell that will be told soon….about the house, about moving and about all kinds of bitterness. So stay tuned.

Bitter Flying off in the Sunset and getting Burned Ben

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35 thoughts on “Flying the coop Friday Giftures

  1. YOOOVe gawt 2 B kiddingding: YOU-TAW?! you will be real/reel/very close to GROUNDation ZEEEROW for bitterness. separately, we may hafta communi(forn)icate about, well, uh, some things about YouTaw. I hope you went to the so-cauld(ron) theatrical production “book of Mor(m)on”. IT IS BASED ON ABSO(u)LUTE PHACT !!

    last day at your jog, nope, I mean job? un-4t-u-(in)nately, we gotts sum stupherayshun in common, be-sigheds_ … well, last daze @ jawbz sorta stuff. i’d rambull furthur, but(t) ..

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  2. My gosh, that fish just came outta nowhere! I’m going to save this post to watch on days when I’m feeling clumsy, to cheer me up, to remind me I am not alone. Looking forward to post-move posts, nothing makes a person as bitter as loading and unloading everything they own. 🙂

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  3. I broke my pinky toe this morning, so I am glad to see all these people in pain and frustration like I am. I imagine some of them broke their toes as well. And as for vicious dog man–WTH?

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  4. Congratulations on the bitter move. I just blew my mind thinking about something. I was like man it sucks to have to go to work on the last day. But if you didn’t go to work on the last day, then . . . would you even start the job at all, mathematically speaking?

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