We are in the middle of a huge flood. Batten down the hatches and start weatherproofing your house. The cheesy Hallmark, ABC Family, Lifetime, UP Network and all other channel onslaught of Christmas specials are coming. Romance in snowed airports, Christmas dogs, losing jobs in marketing, finance and accounting and having to return to family tree lots, small towns or cabins in the woods businesses. The specials are taking over the traditional Christmas specials. There is a need for villains in these specials called the overbearing, or workaholic fiance.
Whatever happened to the good old villain to the Christmas special called Scrooge and The Grinch?
What happened to the original grumpy guys who taught us lessons about the true meaning of Christmas?
Who is the who that can bring grumpiness to the Who’s? Who is the hairy green guy that the tiny dog that can carry a sleigh and steal a whole towns presents while also trying to take away their presence? Who is the original outcast that just wants to be left alone without all the lights, and the food and the singing and toys? Who’s the guy with heart that is two sizes too small, and that avoids the mall? He’s the Green Master of Disaster The Griiiinnnch!
In the other corner, we have the overworked jerk, the accountant with no discountant, the host of the three timed ghosts, the thug of humbug, the guy that puts Christmas Carols in peril, the Geezer named Ebeneezer, the hatchet of Bob Cratchit, the Turkey of turnkey, the steed of greed, the presence of presents, the Scrooge Scourge!
Which Christmas criminal are you with? The whombug of Whoville? Or the Bitterman of Britan? Which one will stop the flood of fianced wannabes? Which one did Jim Carrey play best? Who’s side are you on?
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Christmas Jerk Ben