As you know, I’m a long time fan of television and movies. The thing I like about television and movies is that I don’t have to do anything. What else is there where you can lay on your couch, eat pizza and not do things? The internet? Nope, that takes pushing buttons and paying attention. Jogging or hiking? Nope that requires way too much work AND concentration. Eating at a table? That means you can’t see the TV from where you are sitting. I might as well be in a prison cafeteria.
Another great thing about TV is on the shows you have the music and sound effects that bring things to life. You know when to expect a scary thing around the corner, or when to the characters gain a realization. You know when something is going to get intense or when you are supposed to cry. The music is the manipulator.
Now, I’m kind of bitter that I don’t have sound effects or a music isn’t following me around wherever I go.
When I’m walking around, why isn’t Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 music playing?
When I wrap up a particularly hard credit at work, why isn’t the music from Man of Steel playing when he triumphs over the Terraforming Machine?
When I see my bitter rival at work from a distance, and we are the only two people in the hallway, why isn’t the music from the Matrix when Smith an Neo are running toward each other playing?
When I get home and kids are causing chaos, projects are everywhere and I need a place to go and be alone, why isn’t the Flight of the Bumble Bees
When I get a paycheck, why isn’t the cash register noise being made?
And a minute later when all the money goes to the bills, why isn’t the Price is Right loser horn going off?
When I have a genius idea about a post, or for my book or an invention that needs to be invented or an app that needs to make me money, why isn’t a bright light bulb sound effect playing, and appearing over my head, and by the way, why am I not able to grab it so I can finally change the stupid bulb in my ceiling fan? And why can’t I replace all my bad ideas with this new light bulb idea?
When my boss approaches my desk like a stealth ninja and interrupts me to ask me to do something, why isn’t a soundtrack from a scary movie playing?
When I’m driving expertly and weaving in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding idiots on one side and escaping a tailgater by making it through a yellow light, why isn’t the Batman soundtrack playing?
When I’m clumsily tripping over myself why isn’t the music from America’s Funniest Home Videos playing in the background?
And when I’m laying down on the couch lazily watching TV, why isn’t the soundtrack from Napolean Dynamite playing?
Whoever is in charge of all the music in movies needs to give me a call. I have lots of ideas for different music and sound effects that they can be playing for me. And they need to start practicing because my music needs to be a little off key for bitterness sake.
What about you? What kind of music should be playing in the background for you?
Bitter Background Battleground Ben