The Circus is in Town and The Clowns are coming out to Play Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

Ladies and Bitterman, idiots and tools, welcome to the Bitter Circus! I am the Bitter Circus Ringmaster, Bitter Ben.  I have Gifs that will amaze and astound you and will make you wonder why the heck you decided to come to this circus!  I know many of you came here for a show and I promise I will do everything in my power to disappoint you!  There will lions, and tigers and barely anything else.  I promise there will be clowns because no one is amused by them and most people are freaked the heck out by them.  There will be fails and falls and spills and idiots galore.  There will be something for everyone..to be disappointed by.  So sit back, go to sleep and read another interesting blog, because I present you with: The Bitterest Giftures of the Week!

If you turn your attention over here we have…

the tiger scaring theives

Tiger scaring thieves out of convenience store.

 

And over here you’ll see…

you'll see two little people in cars.

…two little people in car, scaring their big people.

 

 

And over here in the fruit aisle…

absolutely

...things are going absolutely bananas.

 

 

And over here in animal section…

 

and watch out for the te

…watch out for the terrifying Evil Bunny.

 

And hold on to your purses and pins…

 

sdfdf

…because we’ve got the SCARY BOWLING BALL!

 

And for the kids who can’t stop playing their hand held video games…

 

dgaf3

…LIVE VIDEO GAMES!

 

 

We’ve got…

jugglers...

…jugglers with bad attitudes…

 

And we’ve got…

 

tiger acrobats.

tire acrobatics.

 

 

And over here…

...bears playing tetherball.

…bear playing tetherball.

 

 

And over in the water…

guys doing badcrobatics.

…we’ve got guys doing badcrobatics.

 

We’ve got…

 

flippers...

…big flippers…

 

 

And we’ve got…

...fake flippers...

…fake flippers…

 

And for our grand finale…

...we've got some being shot out of a cannon...

…we’ve got someone being shot out of a cannon.. shot by a cannon..

 

If you’ve enjoyed this preview of the Bitter Circus, plunk down your money on the Pay Pal and come on over and make me rich! If not, may horrible things happen to you this weekend, like being woken up at 10:30 am by a stupid neighbor mowing their lawn or having to go grocery shopping, or heaven forbid having to leave your house.  And may your Circus at home be much worse than the Bitter Circus right here.

ARRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Circusular Saw Ben

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

49 thoughts on “The Circus is in Town and The Clowns are coming out to Play Giftures”

  4. now that’s a rotten banana.

    wth about that old man doing front handsprings? i can’t sit in a freaking chair without pain, much less bust a move, and that fat old man is going all greg louganis in the yard? what’s up with that?

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  9. HEY, BEN! How’s it goin’? LOVE the video of the tiger. Now, why didn’t I think of that when my apartment in college kept getting robbed. Getting a pet tiger would’ve solved all my problems! And the one of the bear playing tether ball is priceless! Have you ever seen Ridiculousness? It’s one of my husband’s favorite reality shows, and I think you and Rob Dyrdeck, who hosts the show, must surf YouTube using the same phrases or something cuz he’s got a lot of videos of spills and stupid people behaving stupidly as well…

    ANYWHO…I think you’ve had a bad influence on me, Ben, cuz my latest post comes dangerously close to sounding bitter…I don’t know if you’ve ever read any of my stories about Nana Maude, my Grandmother who decided to tell me that she never approved of my Mom marrying my Dad when my mother was dying of cancer not 3 feet away (and Mom died right before her and Dad’s 49th wedding anniversary)…but this week’s post is about an incident where I couldn’t help but point out the error of my Grandmother’s misconceptions. Feel free to check it out at:

    http://tenaciousbitch.com/2014/07/30/post-140-no-i-dont-drink-wine-i-drink-merlot-and-whats-that-in-your-hand-nana/

    Cuz if you don’t, I’ll be the one calling to wake you up at the butt crack of not 10:30 A.M….more like NINE A.M. tomorrow, LOL…
    Ciao!
    TB

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    • That tiger and bear and other animals performed well in my Bitter Circus. I could have definitely used them on some of my customers in being a little more polite.
      I am glad that I have finally started rubbing off on you and getting you to explore your bitter side. Your Grandma MAude sounds like just the person I should be interviewing for my blog. Where did she get her motivation for bitterness? How did she find it within herself to hate a woman for so long that had cancer and how did she do it right in front of her? It sounds like a masterpiece of bitterness.
      By the way, there’s no way you are waking me up before 10:30 am because you don’t wake up before 11 remember?

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      • Actually Nana loved my mother (who was her oldest daughter) and my father. She just didn’t want Mom to marry Dad way back in 1957 when they got engaged because Mom quit medical school when she got married and became a teacher instead. And Nana is just completely thoughtless and says whatever comes into her obnoxious brain. Mom was in a coma when Nana made that comment about not approving of my Dad, who, btw, was a saint, who took care of the sour old broad (Nana) for two years before he also died of cancer. Then, I got saddled with her for 2 years before putting her in a nursing home last June, which was the HAPPIEST day of my life, and it’s 1,000 miles away as well because she hated Ohio after living in Georgia for 52 years, which is where she’s living once again in the Hilton of nursing homes, which is something akin to a concentration camp according to Nana who was spoiled rotten by everyone, including my parents who were too nice not to give in to her every whim. However, life was very different for Queen Maude when she moved in with me, LOL. I didn’t put up with her crap, and when she complained about what we watched on TV, I’d switch it to a marathon of zombie movies and leave the room, and she didn’t know how to work our “overly fancy” (her words) big screened TV! 🙂 And you’d hear her over the baby monitors I had stashed about the house, so I could hear her if she fell or something – and she’d be hollerin my name, begging me to change the channel while I laughed upstairs in my house where she couldn’t get to me…yeah, I was a bit of a BITCH sometimes…

        And, oh, yeah, you’re right…I don’t normally get up until 11:00 OHIO TIME (EST), which is 8 a.m. your time (PST)! 🙂 🙂

        Have a great weekend, BITTER BEN! Be chatting with you in the morning, you and your bitter bears!
        TB

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        • Well, all I know is bitter Nana would make a fascinating interview on the blog. I’m also a fan of you hiding up in the upstairs and using baby monitors to spy/make sure she isn’t falling. I would probably do the same thing and also leave the TV on things that she couldn’t stand. Are you sure you’re not bitter?
          I will be up by then already anyways. I have kids.

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        • NOT bitter…I just enjoyed annoying my Grandmother, and she definitely HATED zombie movies! That’s why I would put it on a zombie marathon and goes upstairs…guess that wasn’t obvious by my previous statement. Most people in their 90s aren’t big fans of horror movies! 🙂
          TB

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        • Annoying people is also a hobby of mine. But I get bitter when the annoying doesn’t quite go as planned. I go to all that work and somehow they don’t get as annoyed as I had hoped.

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    • With a large great Dane, two shades of hair dye, and the right prosthesis, you can have a tiger that will obey simple commands, like “HUNT!” and “KILL!” What a jolly time you could have with unwanted visitors!

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