Slaying zombies as the bell tolled.
As the year 2013 died a tragic and meaningless death on December 31, at 11:59:59, I was killing a zombies. Lot’s of zombies, but only because they were attacking me first. While I was at it, I was also trying to shut down a security camera or three because the government was watching. I was also trying to find some fuel for a plane to escape. Alright, so I was basically playing a video game with my brother in law, and I wasn’t about to find the mistletoe and embrace him as the New Year rang its first bells. So I continued playing as if the New Year hadn’t just happened and it was just another day of playing games. In the game, I was just me being me as usual, failing time and time again and not learning anything.
Don’t mess with the Sledge Saw.
In Dead Rising 3, you play as a mechanic that gets caught up in the zombie outbreak of 2017. He doesn’t have much in the way of guns or other weapons to deal with the outbreak, other than a mechanics skills for fixing things. So he has to scrounge the ground for items while on the run from zombies and find a way to use them as weapons. There are 2X4’s and bricks and rakes and sticks. Since he has skills for fixing things, he is able to from time to time combine things to make them more powerful. For instance, he takes a cement saw and combines that with a sledgehammer and uses some magic called duct tape and alakazam, bing, bang boom, he makes a SledgeSaw. Just like the main character in Dead Rising 3, I didn’t have a plan for 2013. Just like him, there was bitterness laying around on the ground, and I picked it up, combined it with whatever else came my way, and wrote about it. Sometimes it become something powerful like a SledgeSaw to the face of WordPress and it made a huge impact. Other times it felt like I just threw a tiny sparkler into the hordes of WordPress readers it didn’t make any impact whatsoever. Some days, like the main character of Dead Rising 3, I dealt with it running away from the zombies and not posting anything at all. Other days, I dealt with it, by allowing the zombies to overtake me and just posting whatever was on there and leaving it to be devoured by the people. This is one of those days, where I just give up. So there is my bitterness. Now just devour me and let me be taken in bitterness.
Zombies(otherwise known as WordPressions), look over here! There is a picture of a cloud warrior! (I’m outta here!)
Before you devour me though, look at this shiny picture as a distraction, while I escape and post something tomorrow. Because even though I might die in the game of bitter posts today, I can always start over. I’ll be back…with a bitter vengeance.
Arrrrrghhhh
Bitter Distraction Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Pingback: In case you missed it…because you were busy breaking your resolutions | Ben's Bitter Blog
Why would I want to devour you/your brain. From the sound of it, it would taste nasty.
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Especially on a Saturday when I hadn’t taken a shower yet.
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Interesting: In your sidebar widget, The Clouds of Bitterness, Humor is the biggest word, not Bitterness. Very interesting. Methinks you are not as bitter as you wish to appear 😉
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You did a little research and found out that my cloud has been hacked by someone trying to make me look humorous. Methinks that makes me bitter.
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Well, then I’ll be checking to see if Bitterness gets any bigger 😉
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A Bitterness Spy. That will help will to get more bitterness.
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No, more like fall through the cracks the hordes didn’t notice, following the way of the sparkler, splat on my face! Enjoy your Bitter Day!
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Don’t forget the days that you posted something amazing and yet everyone that you know was too concerned about posting pictures of puppies and kittens to take 5 minutes to read it. That’s my world.
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Stupid cats and cat videos. Apparently the only thing on the internet that anyone has time to view.
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I see you’re still on the warped side of life in this new year. This makes me bitter. I best go look for some zombies… Happy New Year Ben. I’ll look for you out on the front lines.
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I’ll always be on the bitter side of life. At least I am consistent.
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I had to save that picture of the cloud warrior. It’s pretty much the most spectacular thing I’ve ever seen.
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So it did its job and distracted you from the bad post. Good. It is a fantastic picture huh? I wonder if it is real..Who cares though, right?
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Hahaha. Was that the cloud warriors purpose?
I honestly don’t even care if it’s real. It’s spectacular.
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Yeah, it was to distract you from seeing that I hadn’t any post available for the day.
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Whenever the zombies come to eat my brain I give them your blog address. I hope you don’t mind.
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I’m bitter with that, yeah. As long as they are contributing to the conversation.
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yyaarrrghhh!!!!
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Arrrrrgggghhh indeed.
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All this talk about zombies is making me hungry. Sadly, all the sweets I had lying around are a part of my thighs now.
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I think sweets should be on the thicker part of the pyramid because of how thick they make us.
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no toolkit is complete without a sledgesaw! maybe the dallas cowboys cheerleaders can incorporate them into their next dance routine and dexterously twirl them in lieu of batons. thanks very much for liking my latest post. great to hear from you again. i hope you had a bitter x-mas and new year.
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I think that would be fun to see the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders attempt. Especially for Cowboy fans that just want to see some new blood. Ha see what I did there?
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Boy, can I relate. 🙂
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You get eaten by the hordes of WordPress too?
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