First Day of School Bitterness

I thought this guy was the star of the Simpsons.  As always, I was wrong.

I thought this guy was the star of the Simpsons. As always, I was wrong.

There are two things I have learned about The Simpsons over my years of watching the Simpsons.  First, when I started watching the show, I always thought that Bart was the star.  He had all the catchphrases, like “Eat my shorts!” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Cowabunga!” that made him seem like the main character.  But after a while, whether it was intentional or not, I realized it was definitely Homer that drives the show.  Although he has a number of catchphrases, the “heart” of the show is Homer and his “Oddessy”.  Second, in the beginning of the show, it starts you off in a direction you think the show will be about, then subtly shifts to a completely different plot.  It took me a while to figure out, because I’m slow. It made me bitter sometimes when I wanted the show to be about the beginning part.

Close up of a graduation cap and a certificate with a ribbon

Yeah, I finally graduated! No more math ever again! I will never, ever, ….What? They teach math to kids now too?  Arrrrggghhhh…

When I graduated from college, I was pretty excited. It wasn’t because of the fantastic job I had waiting for me(still waiting for that), or because of the awesomeness of being a grown up (yeah bills!), but because I didn’t have to do homework anymore.  Never again would my eyes have to gloss over when looking at math homework.  I moved on to being bitter about everything else, like my job, my terrible apartment and my serious lack of a social life.  Fast forward a few years (nothing to see here!) and I get married.

My wife is in her last semester of school, and she and I are both working full time (bills again) and she takes 18 credits.  Since I have nothing better to do after work, and she is taking a math class (she couldn’t do it in the first 3 3/4 of her 4 year degree?) I get to drudge up all my terrible memories of math and help her.  (Luckily she passes or I would have been really bitter!) At least I am now done forever again.

Aren't they so cute when they do this at 3 in the mourning(yeah mourning the loss of my sleep and sanity)?

Aren’t they so cute when they do this at 3 in the mourning (yeah I said mourning.  The loss of my sleep and sanity)?

But no, we have to have a few mini us’s so that we can learn what it feels like to not sleep for a decade, and how babies can burp and fart and it’s cute, but I am a disgusting vile pig when I do the same.  We also get to learn how to earn just enough money for ourselves only to realize that every last dime goes to them.  Luckily, they have a program called school that teaches them that someday, they will have to the opportunity to get a job so they can dedicate every dime they earn to their fart-burp/sleep deprivators.  But before they can do that, they need to learn math.  But they can’t learn all of that at school from a teacher that is paid really poorly to teach them that.  They have to send it home so the parents who thought they were done forever with math can do it for their kids (uh I mean, help their kids).

So yeah, I’m so glad that I’m a grown up, so I don’t have to worry about going back to school and doing homework.  Not bitter about that at all. Doh!


Bitter Math Homework until I die Ben



63 thoughts on “First Day of School Bitterness

  1. Pingback: Bitter Review of the Summer | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. This is why I’ve already decided that I’m never having kids… among numerous other reasons. I can’t help it… I hate those little gremlins…. I literally can’t stand to be around them. They make me want to tear my hair out. Everyone thinks I’m weird because of it. I probably am.


  3. Pingback: Rescue show Bitterness | Ben's Bitter Blog

  4. Your wife deserves a medal, work, AND taking a math class?!

    My son is in fifth grade and asked me to help him with his math homework last night after a long day of class (I’m in college now, too) I took one look at it and couldn’t even figure out what the hell the QUESTION meant! Seems they’ve decided to completely change math since I was a kid. Now it’s all about words and descriptions and formulas that I swear someone made up on the fly.


  5. Reblogged this on That's a Jenn Story and commented:
    The Tuesday Reblog

    Also, it’s actually Tuesday, and I really should be reblogging one of you. Even though I don’t have kids of my own and don’t have to help either Alicia or the Youth Group with their math homework, I dislike math enough to feel that this bitter post warrants some air time over at the Jenn stories . . .


  6. Math is like the most hideous… oh wait, what about having to have 2 years of a foreign language to graduate college? So when I’m an English major who speaks Spanglish with a French accent……


  7. I hate poxy homework. My youngest (11) came home today, her second day of homework since the holidays ended, sat down for three minutes and declared she had had it with homework! So have I. Roll on the xmas holidays!


  8. Math is the real reason Peter Pan ran away to Neverland. He was just cleverer than the rest of us and now spends his days laughing at the rest of us who are doomed to do math homework, whether it’s ours or our spawn’s (or maybe even our spawn’s spawn, someday?), for the rest of our lives.


  9. I walked in to physical anthropology in college only to realize that damn teacher sounded like the Charlie Brown teacher.
    As in, literally.
    It was fairly deeper than the average woman’s voice, and her inflection went up in pitch every two or three words. And in physical anthropology, you have to learn formulas – mathy ones.
    Longest class of my life! Totally with you on this!


  10. Oh my gosh! No kidding with math. I am going to be in big trouble when Mikey starts learning algebra in FOURTH GRADE! As for the Simpsons–Homer is definitely the main (hilarious) character. He’s been known for his good parenting advice like “if failing teaches one thing it’s never ever try.”


    • I pick a major I thought would have nothing to do with math and I still had to do a lot of it. Curses to you, math that I only use to help my kids do theirs (or I should say the one day a month my wife doesn’t do it.)


  11. Has your elementary kid brought home any math assignments that boggled you? Mine has and I readily admit I googled the formula before helping explain to him.

    babies can burp and fart and it’s cute, but I am a disgusting vile pig when I do the same LOLZ yes.


  12. I know, right?? I have to Google rhombus and parallelograms and stuff. Then I don’t know if the site I just used is legit so I check more sites to make sure and it goes on and on. I share your bitterness with this one.


  13. Right? I am dreading the years when math comes home and it’s more than addition/subtraction…Sigh. Tha’ts very sweet of you to help your wife with her homework. You’re alright, Ben.


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