Remote Control Bitterness

I'm Adam Sandler and I use the remote to do things like more work.

I’m Adam Sandler and I use the remote to do things like more work.

As a fan of Adam Sandler’s bitterly winning performances in such classics as Grown Ups, Gilmore Girls and Billy Madison, I’m clearly a fan of quality comedy.  However a film he did several years ago, Click, was one that I had a hard time with. At first glance, it appeared like Click was right on formula with the greatest comedies of our time.  It was a goofy way to for Adam Sandler to use a remote control’s functions to slow down hot chicks running, a way to speed through annoyingly important conversations with his annoyingly understanding, positive and patient wife(played by bitter beauty Kate Beckinsale) , and a way punch David Hasselhoff. Totally on board.

Then you dig deeper, and Click is an allegory for our time, a gutsy, realistic look at a man and his relationship with his remote control.  It answers questions like, “Why am I here…on this channel again?  Can a man truly change…the channel during the commercials?  How do we truly connect…the HDMI cable?  Where do I want to be at this point in my life?  The couch or the recliner? How do I decide between them? ESPN or Fox Sports? How do I deal with the loss of a loved…remote control?

Deep philisophical question.  Couch or recliner?

Deep philisophical question. Couch or recliner?

I’m on board with all that too. But then my biggest question popped up.  Why would Adam Sandler use this ultimate remote control power for ambitious things like family and getting promoted?  All promotions are good for is more money and more work.  Doesn’t the word remote mean away from others? Doesn’t control mean I get to choose instead of other people? Sounds to me like that means he should have choosen to tell others to go away, which is what I would do.  Sitting on the couch and not having to get up.

So I asked what would have made the movie work for me. What I would have done? Quite simple.  Fast forward through work, and commercials, and bitter blog posts, rewind and record any classic “Embarrasing Viral Youtube Moments” of people that annoy me, and use the menu button to pull up what I wanted from Pizza Hut.

What my remote control menu would pull up.

What my remote control menu would pull up.

I’m bitter because the movie started so great, but failed in its ambition to be a true Adam Sandler classic.  It fell into the responsible hands of this shadow of Adam Sandler.  He choose to use his power it for frivolous things like family and work and learning lessons about life.  I’ll use it for important stuff like ordering food and getting funny Youtube videos.

Arrrghhh

Bitter Remotely Writing this from the couch Ben

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69 thoughts on “Remote Control Bitterness

  1. Pingback: Bitter Sleep | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. Pingback: Picasso Bitterness | Ben's Bitter Blog

  3. Remote controller for Pizza – Great Idea! This item has a lot of potential. With a little developement it could work for the bank accout, the wether or noisy fellow men.

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  4. Gilmore Girls? Happy Gilmore?

    I agree with Click and the stupid not really using the remote for the right thing. I super disliked this movie, saw it in the theater and wanted my life back… WHERE THE FUCK IS MY REMOTE I NEED TO ERASE THIS MOVIE FROM MY MEMORY… apparently I did because all I remember about it was that it sucked. I also remember Christopher Walken whom I don’t dislike but unless he is talking about “I have a feva and the only prescription, is more cowbell…” I kind of find him creepy and obnoxious. Boo to this movie, if you get the remote you should def go into isolation.

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    • I kinda liked it but I am a little more tolerant because I love Adam Sandler. Also, It was supposed to be Happy Gilmore, but I thought it would be funny to put Gilmore Girls. Glad you caught it.

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      • It makes sense to love A.S. he is really funny. I figured you were playing on words :p.

        To answer your question yes it was a real occurrence. I found a blurb about my ex’s wedding, like a romantic story about how he and his wife met. They talked about it in such a happy loving way, but I was with my ex at the time. Like I don’t know how to explain it other than I am one of the things that makes them happy, because they hurt someone to get what they really wanted which was one another. If that makes any sense at all.

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        • Wow that really hurts when things happen under your nose like that. I was dating a girl once that I thought we had a good thing going. We decided to go on a trip to San Antonio because I love the Spurs (basketball) and had never been there. Anyways, while we were getting ready, she asked me to load a few things in her car and there was a note in the side area of her car and for some reason I read it. It was from her friend and it was asking her what about how she was going to decided between me and this other guy. She got engaged to him not long after and I felt so betrayed and bitter.

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        • Holy crap… it’s like a lifetime movie! What a bitch! Did you slap her with a glove? I think that is the only way a man can slap a woman… then you have to say some shit about a duel.

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        • 😦 did it work? I am sorry that happened, but you are better off! You wouldn’t have your wife and kids now if you were with that crazy bitch.

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  5. Greg–love of my life…is that you? Are you doing a blog now, too? They don’t call it a Harmony remote for nothing, because when it’s in your hands all of life is in harmony instead of being full of bitterness…until one of the boys loses it under the sofa or in the cushions of your recliner…then the true harmony of bitterness returns to our home. BTW, how did you guest post on Ben’s bitter blog?

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  6. Whoa! Immediate bitterness at the outset with Adam Sandler’s photo! Did laugh though. SO HARD at the series of events leading to the Pizza Hut menu. Loved that. Mostly hate Adam though

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  7. So philosophical today Ben! I think you are losing some of your bitterness dude. I’m worried about you. Anyways, not an Adam fan at all. It’s not like he’s up there withTom Hiddleston or anything, lol. Have you seen those HUGE remotes sold at CVS or Rite Aid? Hilarious! Bet you can’t lose those, haha!

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    • I lost most people at that point. But I’m shocked. I don’t understand why he hasn’t won an Oscar yet! In fact, maybe my next bitter post will be about how bitter that makes me. It is an outrage!

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  8. Thanks for this… it reminded me of when my dentist decided to put a tv in the ceiling. i thought it was such a good idea to have a remote then, for the reasons you mentioned ie. becoming distant from the present situation and having some illusion of control, even when a clearly sadistic driller is bearing down on your second molar.
    i can still remember the look on the dental hygienist’s face when she looked up and said, ‘Why are you watching Mr. Rogers??’

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      • I just ordered it at my local library and I am surprised it will be available for me to pick up soon, meaning no one else has it out on order. I can’t wait for my low expectations to be confirmed. Thanks for the bitter recommendation. I will use my remote control to speed up the most bitter parts of the movie and I will report back to you how disappointed I was in the movie. Does he at least sing a funny song?

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  9. I would have used it when I was 25 to fast forward through my life, then edited what happened from the age of 33 to 50. Yes, thought would have included ordering more varieties of food, but I think I’ll pass on the YouTube videos.

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  10. I’m not an Adam Sandler fan, so I’ve avoided this movie like the plague, but I think you’ve brought up some important points about the remote control… I’ve also now learned that I’m at my happiest when I’m remote…with the remote control.

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