The Gym hasn't been working out, which is ironic, because the gym wants everyone else to workout. (Holding for applause on my dad joke...aaaand back to the post.) My wife likes to make fun of me, because I have all these routines and when she sidetracks them, I get a little cranky and bitter. I … Continue reading The Gym Hasn’t Been Working Out BFG’s
Bitterness
Mediocrates Bitterness
I didn't get a proper education growing up in South Dakota, because my English teachers forgot to teach me about the Greek Gods. I never learned about the Italian Gods (my favorite Italian God is Little Caeser), or the Brazilian Gods either. If it wasn't for video games and TV, I never would have known … Continue reading Mediocrates Bitterness
Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Most people have no idea what they want to do as a career in life, even well into college and even after graduating. That wasn't true with me. I decided in 7th grade. I was in a Social Studies class and our teacher made us do an assignment to figure out our careers. I guarantee … Continue reading Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Man’s Search for Comedy
I've spent the last 49 years cultivating a wit so sharp that onions cry when I cut them. Ninja's use my wit to sharpen their blades. Comedians wear ski masks and avoid detection from my brain's security system just to steal jokes from me. I feel like Usain Bolt slowing down for a turtle when … Continue reading Man’s Search for Comedy
Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
There is a popular song out right now called Victoria's Secret by a singer named Jax. If you've never heard it, or paid attention to the lyrics (which I almost never do), it's basically a parody about all the things that Victoria's Secret "teaches" society about what women should look like. In one of the … Continue reading Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
When I was young, I loved the Transformers. Coming home to watch the Transformers was my reward for making it through a hard 6-hour day of school. One of my favorite characters was the advanced scout, Mirage, because he could turn invisible and would warn the Autobots of an early attack by Decepticons. I must … Continue reading Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures
My favorite thing to do at work is chatting and chilling with my co-workers. Who needs headphones or distracting work when you can absentmindedly trade small talk with your co-workers. The day wouldn't feel complete without having to get off your headphones so you can answer such questions as, "Good morning". I feel like I'm … Continue reading Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures
The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
Hello all. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to doing posts around Christmas, but I'm really good at reposting some classics. So I hope you enjoy. And Bitter Christmas to you all. He is as green as Eggs and Ham. He is as green as the Redwood Forest. He is as green as the Hulk … Continue reading The Brinch who Stole Christmas…Vacation
The Upside Downiverse Bitter Friday Giftures
As the calendar flips to October, Halloweenites can finally breathe easy with knowledge that they can finally come out of the closet...with their decorations, costumes, candy and fake graveyards. I used to work with a guy that loved Halloween so much, that he said he started working on his costume for Halloween on November 1st. … Continue reading The Upside Downiverse Bitter Friday Giftures
Streamer Bitter Friday Giftures
When I was 22, I had the energy to work a full day, come home, play a sport, and then after that go out and enjoy some time with friends and then come home and stay up until 4 am. I never did any of those things, but I had the energy to do those … Continue reading Streamer Bitter Friday Giftures
Underground Lair Bitter Friday Giftures
We've all lost a lot in the pandemic. Lost lives, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost freedoms and lost breathing (you know from those dang masks). All I know is that I'm never wearing one of those things again. I've personally lost a lot of things since the pandemic started too. I'm still missing one of … Continue reading Underground Lair Bitter Friday Giftures
Famous Relatives Bitter Friday Giftures
Fun Fact: I am in the movie Jaws. Not as an actor, no as in my name. And it might be at one of the scariest parts. If you don't believe me, watch this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDs5a0BcEzY Other than this obscure fact about my name is in the first ever summer blockbuster, and the runaway success of … Continue reading Famous Relatives Bitter Friday Giftures
April Fool Bitter Friday Giftures
Other than the my birthday and Christmas, April Fool's Day is probably my favorite day of the year. It was especially awesome back in the day when the company I worked for had year end on March 31st, which meant we often had to stay until really late pretending to work or something. So the … Continue reading April Fool Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Book Bitterness
Recently, I did a blog post about the fact that I've been blogging for 9 years now. Which seems crazy, because I barely have the attention span of a gnat. This blog is older than most gnats. Except for that gnat that looks like Prince Phillip. You might think that I've done nothing else in … Continue reading Bitter Book Bitterness
Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures
Why do you think March Madness the ultimate time of year for so many people? Well, some say it is for college basketball. You know, the crazy upsets, the buzzer beaters and the nail biting games. Or it could be the one-in-a-million shot that you could accidentally fill out a Final Four bracket in your … Continue reading Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures
DeepFake Bitter Friday Giftures
The reason I know that I was meant to live in this period of history, is because this is the best time period to be lazy. Imagine me trying to get away with being lazy in Jurassic Park era. As soon as I decided that I wanted to hang out in the cave, I would … Continue reading DeepFake Bitter Friday Giftures
Selling a Piece of History Bitter Friday Giftures
For anyone who read my blog post on Tuesday, I promised a big announcement and since I am really good at disappointing all of you, here it is. But before I announce it let's get some context. You see, in recent days, something weird has taken over the news. You might have seen it in … Continue reading Selling a Piece of History Bitter Friday Giftures
My Bitter Blog is a 4th Grader
Interruption in the beginning of the blog because nobody reads past the first sentence. I will be making a big announcement on this blog on Friday. Now, back to the beginning of the blog post. Technically, this blog started 48 years ago, when my dad and mom looked at each other and said "Okay, I … Continue reading My Bitter Blog is a 4th Grader
Download Bitter Friday Giftures
We are all downloading something these days. Sometimes it takes a long time, other times just a second or two, depending on the speed of your connection and how big the download is. Some of them take up a whole lot of your hard drive space, and others just a tiny little bit. Back in … Continue reading Download Bitter Friday Giftures
Pillow Bitter Friday Giftures
I cannot sleep! Yesterday during my typical 3 pm lull, I was struggling to doze off. As a late 40's guy, I've never struggled to get at least 15 winks here and there at the computer, while pretending to do work, but lately it's been a struggle bus. It would be easy to blame things … Continue reading Pillow Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 