If you didn’t know, today is Friday the 13th, the moon is full and some sort of pandemic is going on here. I can’t find toilet paper or hand sanitizer (ever heard of soap?) and all the people are going crazy out there. The NBA is cancelled, E3 is cancelled (what else is there to live for?) and grocery stores are having a Black Friday of sorts.
There is one thing that is my saving grace. The news people are talking about this new trend to keep all the viruses away and such. It’s called social distancing and that is possibly the greatest invention thing ever.
You mean people have to stay away from me and I have to stay away from them? What would be so great is if this trend can continue long after this whole crisis is over. More telecommuting, more keeping away from people, more staying home and watching TV. I like the way this movement could take place. There is a silver lining after all.
And don’t think that some silly virus is going to keep Bitter Friday Giftures from happening right now…
Don’t shake my hand….
…you might contract my burning hand.
Silly Thanos…
…didn’t he know that the way to shut down Disney was to create a mouse poison called the corona?
Is it time for the Avengers…
…to come rescue us and bring us to some other cool planet?
Don’t worry though…
…we’ve got a plan to fight this.
But first…
…we need the media to create a frenzy.
Where they will listen to any lunatic…
…who claims to be a doctor.
I always thought…
…this is how the world would end.
I never thought we would have…
…another Black Friday again.
But I guess we just needed…
…a rare commodity like toilet paper before we had a Black Friday-like rush.
Like in Pokemon though, everything has a weakness…
…Apple is weak against worldwide shortages of chips from China.
Facebook is weak against…
…Apple’s cookie protection…
And the corona virus is weak against…
…smart people who don’t panic and chill out.
So my one piece of advice is this. CHILL THE FRICK OUT AND STOP PANICKING. I WILL USE NAPKINS OR PAPER TOWELS IF I HAVE TO. And just so you know, this pandemic is just helping you all realize how to be better at being bitter, so it is feeding my bitter soul. Also, if you could spread my post and my blog like the Corona virus is being spread that would be great.
Thanks,
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Social Distancing Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Pingback: Social Distancing Bitter Friday Giftures – Vines
Regarding the pandemic, introverts are the best-prepared people on the planet. I still work from home, shop online and prefer my social interaction to be virtual. Nothing has changed, except my 401K of course; nothing we can do about that 😦
LikeLike
Yeah. Stupid Corona killing our 401K. Why???? (Shaking fists at sky!)
LikeLike
My practice has made perfect for this social distancing invention thing. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t wait to perfect the practice of social distancing. Though I’ve pretty much perfected it in my life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Which virus is worse? | Wibble
I wasn’t really concerned until I read your post, but if you’re seeing a positive, then society is truly on the verge of an apocalypse.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I think we all know that it is on the verge.
LikeLike
I’ve got it all figured out… if there’s no food to eat, I won’t even need toilet paper… check mate you doomsday preppers!
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s right! We will be in our graves laughing at the preppers!
LikeLike